The greatest baseball player ever was a guy named Hugh McBealy, and he was most famous for every single time he came to the plate knocking the ball high over right field and into the stands.

He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.

He earned the nickname β€œthe machine” for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.

And the day he retired a reporter asked him β€œHow does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?”

Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. β€œWhat do you mean?” He said.

The reporter clarified β€œliterally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!”

Hugh looked dejected and disappointed β€œyeah, my greatest failure...”

β€œWhat do you mean?” Said the reporter incredulously.

Hugh let’s out a long sigh, and looked down at the ground quietly for a moment before finally speaking.

β€œI’ve been aiming left this whole time”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Frnklfrwsr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought a new pair of gloves today...

...but they're both "lefts". Which on the one hand is great, but on the other, it's just not right.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_oddballwoofwoof_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
During an organ donation how do doctors decide which kidney to pick?

They pick the right one.

That way there's still one left

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
How many ears does Spock have?

Well, he has a Left Ear , a Right Ear and A Final Front Ear!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Vanguard_The
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Three knees

My father used to insist he could drive with 3 knees (with hands off wheel). When asked what knees, he said;

"My right knee, my left knee, and me wee knee!"

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Whiskey--Jack
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Reddit Obligations:

I don't have any original material at the moment, but the obligations are still there. So I present the following:

How do you get a baby satellite to sleep? You rocket!

Why was Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands.

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Eggs don't tell jokes because they always crack up.

What's a tree's favorite drink? Root beer!

What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Lean beef

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he still won't come

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bross-Hog
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Two blokes go for a job. Before they can get the job they are asked some questions.

One said to the other i wont get the job i not good at questions. Dont worry said the other i go in first and i will tell you the answers? So he goes in the boss said to him; If i poke you in the left eye what would happen. I would go half blind. If i poke you right eye what would happen. I would go fully blind. Congratulations you have got the job. Send the other candidate in. As the other candidate was going in the he said the answers are Half blind and Fully blind. Thanks mate and goes to see the boss. Right said the boss if i cut your ear off what would happen. I would go half blind. Okay said the boss if i cut your other ear off what would happen. I would go fully blind. The boss looks puzzled and said how do you make that out. He said thats obvious.

My cap would fall over my eyes!!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
No sense of direction...

My wife often says I have no sense of direction. So I left because she wasn't treating me right.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Which donor kidney do doctors always take out?

The right one, so you at least have one left.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/easiestEC
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad Jokes

It was a brisk Saturday morning when Gerald arrived at β€œThe CafΓ©,” a hip coffee shop right down the street. Wearing his large, burly black coat, he stared hesitantly at his watch. Thick glasses adorned his bright blue eyes, his gaze like starlight in a clear night sky. He was waiting, intently twiddling his thumbs. After a buzz of his phone, the message from Dad popped up: β€œParking now, be there in 5.”

β€œDad,” he whispered under his breath, swiping the message away to once again reveal the image on his lock-screen: a hazy picture of an ultrasound.

Gerald had not spoken to his father for three years. They had had a falling out, over which he did not remember. To him it was a competition of who could wait the longest without calling or sending a text. Who could wait the longest: him without a father, or his father without a son? The idea of friction in the relationship hurt like a thorn; piercing his soul more and more everyday. Until recently, out of the blue, β€œDad” popped up on his phone. The rest is history. The rest leads to that Saturday morning, at The CafΓ©.

Bang! A car door rang out not too far from where Gerald stood. Gerald saw him. His father wore his tweed jacket like a coat of armor. His strut was now weaker than before they stopped talking; a weakness evident in his cane which supported every right step. His shortly trimmed white beard juxtaposed against his uncut, curly grey hair gave him the image of a wise wizard from a fairytale. He used to be that figure to Gerald, yet instead of a nice ancient being acting like a stone to keep him grounded, Gerald had felt as though his father was a rock pulling him deeper and deeper into a sea of monotony. Holding him back from his true potential. Maybe that was why he left? He still did not know.

β€œHello, son,” came the withered voice Gerald had sook for so long, yet now that it had arrived wanted to avoid. β€œI can’t believe it’s been so long!”

β€œYeah,” said Gerald, allowing a smile to grace his face. β€œToo long!”

Then they hugged, signifying a change in their relationship. Gerald had hoped something could happen to bring them closer together. He did not want to go on wondering what could have been. The regret and sadness weighed him down. Before starting a new family, Gerald wanted to be reacquainted with his own.

After finding their table and sitting down, the two began to discuss life. It was like old friends catching up after a long break. Although it took some time, Gerald began to warm u

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sullyrr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My son asked me and my SO why koala's aren't considered bears

I told him they don't have tge right koalafications. My SO sighed and left the room... She hasn't talked to me in 45min, guess that's how you know it's a dadjoke?

πŸ‘︎ 388
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Demonazzzz
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Learn to walk in two easy steps

Right, Left.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_Soviet_Boy_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Went canoeing with my dad.

I asked if he wanted to man the left or right paddle.

He said either oar.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gnamflah
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Funny 'Dads Anonymous' story to share for the holiday weekend.

"Welcome everyone to Dads Anonymous. Again my name is Bill and you will notice that we have a new member, please welcome Gary -- Can you tell us what brought you to us today?"

"Well I have a very embarrassing confession. It's even hard to get the words out."

Bill reassures him, "We are all dads here and have been meeting for decades, we've been through all the highs and lows, births and deaths, tragedies, we've heard it all. Just tell us what's on your mind son, we are here to support each other."

"Well, a couple months ago, I broke both my legs in a motorcycle accident and couldn't walk, so I let my wife use the lawnmower." He says through the sobs...

Bob, one of the other dads, starts to get pale. "...and she didn't even cut it in a crisp geometric pattern, it was just random..." Bob starts to sweat and get dry heaves. "YOU BASTARD", he screams. "HOW COULD YOU LET THAT HAPPEN." The dads rise and get ready to beat the crap out of Gary, when Bill stands between them and breaks it up.

"Guys! Guys, we all get weak sometimes and things happen outside our control. Doug, you remember when you were in recovering from Chemo and you gave your wife a hammer, and she used it to hammer a roofing nail into the drywall to hang a picture!" Doug, looks down in shame, "Yes, that was a bad day, I was so weak. She missed the stud and left a dent in the wall, and she just hung the picture over it, crooked!" There was dead silence. "Thats ok Doug, it was twenty years ago, you were young and foolish, you can let it go". Then all the dads shook hands and sat back down.

Bill starts the meeting up again. Then Gary says, "..theres one more thing, Right after I got out of the hospital, she wanted to make a special dinner for us, so I let her grill the steaks..." "OH LORD THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!" screams Dave, another dad, his face turning red. Gary continues "...she burnt them one one side and they were dry and chewy." Now there is a bedlam, one dad immediately passes out cold, chairs are thrown, broken bottles, Gary is on the ground being kicked in the ribs. After a few tense minutes Bill managed to get the dads off of Gary. "Stop it, Dave you're killing him. Come on, you remember that time you let your wife go to the repair shop for an oil change?" Dave hung his head, and muttered yeah. "They convinced her to change the cabin filter, wiper blades and the radiator collant..." Bill kept prodding "and, aaand" ...Dave broke down, "and she bought a jug of blinker fluid!" T

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Just another viral rant.

All right reddit, I have to get this off my chest. I’m absolutely SICK of this pandemic. Everywhere I go, I’m constantly being PESTERED to wipe down surfaces and sanitize my hands. It’s a complete infestation of my personal space!

Let’s face it, our ailing democratic rights have taken a huge hit. And this is a symptom of a larger problem. Namely, our ruling class seems totally impaired! We are being totally ill-informed by people who claim they know everything about this disease.

For example, this whole situation has been plagued with problems since the beginning! It’s a scourge on what’s left of humanity.

So I say, it’s time to break out of the shackles and seize our lives back! We need to combat this virus that flew around the world with everything we’ve got. Because this lock down is bugging the hell out of me! This is a cold call to do your part. The health of our society depends on it!

Happy quarantine, everyone!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/daloonik
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
🚨︎ report
5 Cringey Puns

(Sorry For Not Posting, I Was Busy)

  1. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

  2. I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

  3. Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out.

  4. I didn't use to care much for most puns but over time some of them have groan on me.

  5. A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.

(Source For All Puns: https://www.punoftheday.com/cgi-bin/disppuns.pl?ord=F&cat=0&sub=0&page=1)

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/punsdaily
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
🚨︎ report
There were three guys named Jackson who were all in the clothing business.

Due to lack of real estate options in their city, they all set up shop next door to each other. In order to convince customers to come to their store rather than one of the other Jacksons, they all put up signs to attract customers.

The one on the left puts up a sign that says "Jackson's clothing store (Best prices!)"

Not to be outdone, the one on the right puts up a sign that says "Jackson's clothing store (Best quality!)

The one in the middle thinks about it for a while, and eventually puts up a sign of his own.

"Jackson's clothing store (Main entrance).”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tfowler11
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
A woman tripped and fell off the balcony and had been cut in half. Still conscious, she was quickly rushed to the hospital...

Manager: what did the doctor say to the woman’s family? Me: after thinking ...yea I’m not sure Manager: β€œshe was ALL RIGHT.” Me: oh, I thought you were going to say β€œThere’s nothing LEFT.” The manager at work got a kick out of that because that was an answer he has never gotten before lol figured I’d post it here.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Slammin_Salmon94
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Kid advice

Me just now to the my kids:

β€œMake sure you brush all of them [teeth]. I mean it. Front, back, top, bottom, inside, outside, up up, down down, left right, left right, B, A, B, A, select start!”

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gng007
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Documentary; The African elephant has a penis so large it can use it as a 5th leg

Me; Left knee, right knee, wee nee

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lisajean1234
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife told me she'd leave me if I don't stop making Microsoft puns, and I need some advice

I immediately left my Office and tried explaining myself. Sure, on the Surface I do it often, but I think it Works. It's not just about Word play, either; my Outlook on life helps me Excel. She and I have such a great Team Foundation, I Azure you. I wanted to Exchange my thoughts with her, so we could work with OneDrive. I looked her right in the Windows of her soul, to Access the deepest parts of her heart, and told her I loved her. Completely on Edge, I awaited her answer...

PowerPoint of the story is: does anyone know of a good divorce lawyer?

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2018
🚨︎ report
I was driving this girl to her house and told her that I wasn't good with directions, she laugh at me...

So I just right her left there.

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EvanThepuncake
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I dare you to read this

What tree do you wipe your hands on? A palm tree!

I heard a scary math joke, but I’m 2^^2 to tell it!

Have you heard of that new movie, β€œConstipation”? Well it doesn’t matter, it never came out.

I hurt myself when I went to a theme park in florida. When I went to the doctor, he started wrapping up my left leg, but then I pointed at my right and said β€œNo, doc, it’s dis knee.”

Last night I got mugged by 6 dwarves. Not Happy.

When Queen Elizabeth farts, everyone in the room must pretend like nothing happened. Noble Gasses don’t cause reactions, after all.

What’s the difference between a seal and a sea lion? One electron.

What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Daytrogen!

I called the animal shelter today and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said "Are they moving?" I replied "I don't know, but that would explain the suitcase."

Why can’t you trust Atoms? Because they make up everything!

Why do nerds wear glasses? It helps with division.

Why should you tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? You don’t wanna wake the sleeping pills.

What twitches and is found at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck!

What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller!

What do you call a 3 foot tall psychic on the run from the law? A small medium at large!

Help, I can’t stop reading books with female protagonists! I’m a heroine addict!

How did Sparticus react when he ate his wife for dinner? He was gladiator!

When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent!

19 and 20 got into a fight… 21.

My friend told me, β€œPeople who sell meat are disgusting!” So I said, β€œYeah, well people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer!”

How can turtles take photos of themselves? Shell-fie sticks!

What do you call a secret agent molecule? Bond… ionic bond. β€œTaken, not shared.” What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? (Cut this part, but make a screeching noise)

How much does Santa’s sleigh cost? $0, it’s on the house.

If America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight there would be mass confusion.

I had a splinter once; it eventually got out of hand.

I’m going to go stand outside. If anyone asks, I’m outstanding.

Most people are shocked to find out how terrible an electrician I am!

What do mermaids wash their fins with? Tide What’s the coolest place to use the bathroom? The Lil Jon

Did you know that on average, people want three covers on their bed at all times? But that’s just a blanket statem

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kinjago
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 81
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Entertainment puns

I have two favorite titles that are extremely clever puns.

β€œShawn the Sheep” β€œDexter”

β€œShawn the Sheep” is a sly play on the dialect of the characters in the animation. β€œShawn” and β€œshorn” have the same pronunciation in the dialect of the outskirts of Bristol, UK.

β€œDexter” is a wonderful Latin pun. β€œDexter” is the word for β€œright” and β€œSinister” is the implied compliment, the word for β€œleft” in Latin. Dexter is a series about a serial killer who only murders those guilty of crimes. His name in Latin implies he is the opposite of sinister, right or just.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/serendipindy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Lawyer, chemist and a statistician goes hunting

Lawyer, chemist and a statistician are out in a forest hunting for deer. After one hour of patiently waiting lawyer finally spots one. The lawyer shoots at a deer and misses half a meter to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses half a meter to the right. Both are furious and dissapointed as they see the deer escape.

Chemist asks statistician - "why you didn't shoot ?"

Statistician replyes - "I didn't need to, we already shot him !".

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CheeserLP
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you want to hear a mean joke?

A physicist, an engineer and a statistician go on a hunting trip. They see a deer in a clearing. The physicist calculates the distance to the target, the velocity and drop of the bullet, he fires but misses five feet to the left.

The engineer says he forgot to account for the wind, takes the rifle, aims and misses five feet to the right. The statistician claps and says "we got him!".

πŸ‘︎ 651
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LGriff13
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
🚨︎ report
How many ears does Spok have?

Three. The left ear, the right ear and The Final Frontier.

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bowmbaclott
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Two wrongs don’t make a right.

But three rights make a left.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
How many ears does Spock have?

His left ear, his right ear, and his final front ear.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
How many ears do Star Trek captains have?

3

A left ear.

A right ear.

And a final frontier

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
How many ears does Spock have?

The left ear, the right ear, and obviously the final front ear

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LoveThyLoki
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know Spock actually has 3 ears?

A left ear

A right ear

And a final front ear

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to understand politics like the back of my hand

But now I dont know my left from my right

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iamdrbright
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Right where you left him.

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrdrm23
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
How many ears does Mr. Spock have?

Three: the left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear.

πŸ‘︎ 90
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Konamicoder
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Son: Dad, why is it called Right and Left?

Dad: Well son, back when I was a boy your Right hand was the right one to use, and if you didn't then your Left hand was the only one left.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Apprehensive_Unit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
My πŸš£β€β™€οΈ coach asked if I wanted to row right or left?

I said it doesn’t matter, right, left, either oar

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/riz_lemon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do you find a cow with no legs?

Right where you left it.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JasonH94612
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
A man who lost everything in a fire was asked if he is okay.

"Well, I have nothing left, so I guess I'm all right."

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VforViolin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Where would you find a dog with no legs?

Right where you left him

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UltraMooseMan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do you find a no-legged dog?

Right where you left him.

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SpeedingEmu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm look so good...

I have 5 fingers on my left hand and 5 fingers on my right hand. 5+5=10

I got handsum.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/maximal543
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
How many ears does Captain Kirk have?

Three: the left ear, the right ear, and the final frontier.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thepattato
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Terrible Accident (sad, but safe for work)

Did you hear about the man who lost the left side of his body in a horrible accident?

The nurse said there was not much left, but the doctor said he’d be all right.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1st10Amendments
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.