The Jackson 5 Puns

Germane

Due to lack of real estate options in their city, they all set up shop next door to each other. In order to convince customers to come to their store rather than one of the other Jacksons, they all put up signs to attract customers.

The one on the left puts up a sign that says "Jackson's clothing store (Best prices!)"

Not to be outdone, the one on the right puts up a sign that says "Jackson's clothing store (Best quality!)

The one in the middle thinks about it for a while, and eventually puts up a sign of his own.

"Jackson's clothing store (Main entrance).”

The Jackson 5

He claimed I didn't stop at a stop sign. He heard me listening to Michael Jackson's PYT. He gave me a big cheesy grin said, "Sure you're not listening to Don't Stop til you get enough?"

After he gave me the warning he suggested I "Beat it".

and today, we were playing a game of "Yes, Let's!" If you're unfamiliar, that's a group improv exercise where one person says "Let's do a thing!" and everybody else replies "Yes, let's!" and then proceeds to act out the scene. After acting out said scene, somebody freezes, then everybody freezes, and then someone else starts one.

In this case, it was "Let's go to a Michael Jackson tribute concert!" Now, we'd just been coached to assume distinct roles in an attempt to construct a coherent narrative, and so I, as an awkward, scrawny, blond white man, slipped effortlessly into the role of a shitty Michael Jackson impersonator. And I must have been doing something right, because the rest of the group quickly formed a scene as the audience, security, and crew, and stupidity ensued as I sucked at being Michael Jackson for all I was worth.

A few people started heckling, and then one of the audience members barged past security and mimed punching me in the head, whereupon I dramatically spun and dropped to the floor with a resounding THUD (knowing how to fall is a useful skill). The reaction was about a third laughs, a third stage-gasps, and a third just confusion. But I did get a few compliments after the exercise on my impression and my theatrics.

So I'd say that was a pretty big hit.

Jackson Browne's "Loadout/Stay" was on the radio.

My wife said, "Did he do this song when you saw him in concert?" I replied, "No, actually he didn't do any encore at all." She said, "If I went to a concert and they didn't do an encore, I'd leave."

She immediately started elbowing me in my ribs to make sure I got it. I laughed about it the whole drive home. I'm so proud of her.

We were singing a piece that was arranged by a person named Micheal Jackson with the middle name that was abbreviated with an "O". Without skipping a beat an older fellow says. "hmmm must be the Irish couter part Micheal O'Jackson", all other dads gave the smile and nod of approval while I cringled to myself.

When my dad sees a sign for a car show and gets excited.

Brother (being sarcastic): They'll probably close it as soon as you arrive.

Dad: Doesn't matter, im like the Jackson Five.

Brother: How?

Dad: Because I'll be there!

Me: Oh my god, dad...