What shows the beauties of the world, but when you look at it, it shows the horrors?

A mirror

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NYRion7
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did 4 run out of the horror movie?

because it was 2Β²

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πŸ‘€︎ u/idunnoijustlurk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2022
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I watched in horror as a rocket shaped as the word β€œSTART” flew through the air

I told my best friend that that this wasn’t what I had in mind when I said I wanted to launch a start up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IcyBreloom
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2022
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Dreamworks just announced plans for a horror reboot of the wildly popular Shrek franchise

A December 2023 domestic release seems likely for the first installment in the rebooted series, tentatively called Shriek.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeevesfan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2022
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A paralyzed girl wheeled her way out of a horror showing at the cinema.

She just could not stand to watch it!

πŸ‘︎ 101
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jude_here
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2022
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My girlfriend didn't like the horror movie I showed her.

I guess she couldn't stand IT.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Foolt24
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2022
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There once was a boy born with no body, only a head.

On his 21st birthday his dad asked him what he’d like to do. β€œGo to the bar for a beer”, he said. So they went.

His dad propped his son on the bar. β€œBeer for my son, please”. The dad poured the beer into his son’s mouth. Two arms sprouted from his neck. β€œIt’s a miracle! Bartender, quick! Grab another beer!”

The son grabbed the second beer with his new arms and drank it. A body grew below his arms. The bartender ran for another beer. The boy drank it and sure enough, two legs sprouted from his torso.

He yelled, β€œDad look! I have a body!” In his excitement he ran out of the bar. His dad and the bartender followed and to their horror, watched as the kid ran into the street and got run over by a bus. The dad said, β€œOh son, I never thought to teach you to look both ways before crossing the street”.

The bartender said, β€œPoor kid, should’ve quit while he was ahead”.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2022
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a man with no arms went to a monastery to apply for a job as a bell ringer

The monk told him but sir, you have no arms, how will you ring the bell?

The man said, " just lead me to the bell and I'll show you."

So they walked up the long stairwell that led to the top of the belfry. Once at the top, the man walked over to the bell to get a good look at it. He then proceeded back up against the furthest wall and leapt into a sprint, face first into the bell.

He plummeted 65 feet below to his death. Tragically, no sound came from the bell.

When the police arrived an hour later, they asked the monk if he knew the man.

The monk simply said, "No. His face doesn't ring a bell either."

But wait, there's more...

The next day another man with no arms showed up at the monastery and told the monk "Yesterday the man who died here was my brother. This was his lifelong dream. If it's ok with you, I'd like to try just once for him."

The monk certainly couldn't refuse and slowly led the man up the long stairwell.

Once at the top the man walked over to the bell. He kissed the spot where his brother's face hit the bell just a day before and walked back to the edge of the furthest wall.

The priest watched in horror as once again a man hurled himself face first towards the bell, but at the last minute the man tucked his chin, stopped at the last moment and slammed his head into the side of the bell.

The bell rang with the loudest clang the countryside had heard in years. In fact, it was so loud the man cried out in agonizing pain, lost his balance and fell to his death below.

Once again the police showed up, and once again asked the monk if he knew the man's name to which the monk replied, "no, but he's a dead ringer for his brother."

I'll show myself out.

Good night

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Badpun-dadjoke
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2022
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These could be the titles of two horror movies
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dvarka124
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I made a horror story about the macaroni monster

I guess it turned out to be a creepypasta :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Therobbu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2022
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Who is the most money smart horror creature?

… Pennywise.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wasabi-Shinobi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2022
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So my horror fanatic friend recently asked why none of the Silent Hill monster have eyes?

I told them, well I guess it's because the Hills took them all.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punk_Rasputin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
🚨︎ report
A list of over 350 Dad Jokes!

Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.

3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.

5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.

A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.

A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. β€œI’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” it says. β€œSorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. β€œYou’re out of your head.”

A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'

A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.

A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. β€œWe don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. β€œWhy not?” one yogurt asks. β€œWe’re cultured.”

A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.

A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.

A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, β€œWhat are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, β€œIt’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”

A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, β€œWhat’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, β€œArrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, β€œI don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

Armed robbersβ€”some say they’re a drain on society, but you’ve got to give it to them.

Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.

Can February March? No, but April May!

Cooking out this weekend? Don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.

Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.

Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!

Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.

Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?

Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!

Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bugasum
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2022
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The two men stared intensely at each other over the chessboard, neither one making a move. Suddenly, one of the men gasped in horror and shouted, "How is this possible? You must be taught by the Soviets!"

The other smirked and replied, "Czech, mate."

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πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun, and one brought nothing but a few cough drops.

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?

"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"

In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FancyAlligator
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2022
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I found myself bereft at the chaos that run through the winding streets of China town. The horror

The wonton destruction.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommyW-Unofficial
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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After 10 minutes of horror, the man finally stopped shooting...

He yelled, "cut!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife told me that a sci-fi horror series centered around geek culture could never make it big in the public sphere.

But I've seen stranger things.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
let me tell you the twitter handle of a horror company out of this world

@mustfear

edit : thisnisna dad joke. not intended as an actual twitter handle search.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alphabluewolf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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Someone forced me to watch a horror movie about clowns by punching me all the way to the cinema.

They beat me to IT.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OrikamiPanio
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
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I love horror movies. I considering bringing along a DVD while I traveled the world.

But then I knew that'd be taking It too far.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sup-mr-stark
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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A famous horror novelist was at a convention when a man asked, β€œWhy are all your books so dark? I’ve tried, but I just can’t manage to read any of them.” The novelist responded,

β€œSo you haven’t tried turning on a light then?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MightyOtaku
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn’t 4 watch the horror film?

Because it was 2 squared

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CVSSR
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the audience bored at the horror movie?

Because they had to wait for It

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MFD123
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
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My friend used to have a job of working on the set of a 1990 horror miniseries...

He was an IT professional.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
🚨︎ report
A recent study shows that the number of people who enjoy horror films has gone up by more than 30%.

That’s a frightening statistic.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
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As a plumber, I often have nightmares about the dripping faucet I can't fix and the toilet that will not flush (good horror movie titles, btw)...

It's plumb crazy, but I have pipe dreams!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
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Did you hear about the horror-movie inspired horticulturist?

Gruesome plants, man.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gahvandure2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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One of my friends stole all the DVDs of my horror movie collection. In the end I decided to let him go.

However, I still hold The Grudge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the youth pastor show show his kids a horror movie?

To scare the hell out of them.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nerdican
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2016
🚨︎ report
Why did the conservative hide the horror movie from his kids?

Because he believed in concealed Carrie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nerdican
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2016
🚨︎ report
Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, there’s a long break in the ledge they can’t cross. β€œSomething for this I have.” Yoda says.

He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.

He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.

When they get back to Yoda’s hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a hole in the fence around Yoda’s garden.

β€œSomething I have for this.” Yoda says again. Once again, he takes a bunch of forks out of his bag and, using duct tape, tapes them in to patch the hole.

Yoda and Luke return to Yoda’s home, where Yoda looks through his bag. He’s used all his forks but one, he discovers.

β€œThat’s ok Master." Luke says, wanting to be helpful. β€œI’ll write us a note reminding us to buy more.”

So he writes the note and uses the very last fork to pin it to the bulletin board.

He looks down at Yoda expecting pride, but instead finds a look of horror.

β€œMaster Yoda!” he asks. β€œWhat did I do wrong?”

Yoda replies sagely, β€œA Jedi uses the forks for no ledge and the fence. Never for a tack!”

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
🚨︎ report
at the beach, i found a broken sand dollar, and i turned to Daughter, and said, hey i found a rapper...

she immediately responded, "50 cent"

it was rewarding because i could visibly see her internal groan at dumb dad joke, but then also self-horror that she was so quick to get the joke... win-win-win!!

πŸ‘︎ 114
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fajita43
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
🚨︎ report
One of my boy scouts asked me, "Sir, is this snake poisonous?"

I said, "No, that snake's not poisonous at all."

So the boy picks up the snake which bites him, and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror.

I continued, "But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys."

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2017
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This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
The man and the silver screw.

There once was this fella was born with a silver screw in his belly button. His parents, and later himself, searched far and wide trying to find someone that knew how this happened and how to remove it. As he grew older he cared less and less about the "how" and more about the removal. One day in his never-ending search he encountered a wizened woman who said that she knew of a place where you could go and a mysterious force would be able to remove the screw. But, before she provided the location she asked him if this was REALLY something he wanted done and if he knew all the consequences of his desire. The man hastily said that he was 10000% sure and more than well informed of the consequences. So, she gave him the location of the cave and the instructions on how to gain the help of the mysterious force. He was to go to the cave and sleep nude in the cave over night and by the morning his request would be fulfilled. He made his way to the spot with all due haste and followed the instructions to the letter. He did this and fell into a sound sleep. During the night a heavy fog rolled into the cave and a shining silver screwdriver floated into the cave with it. It floated down to the man and gently removed the screw. When the man woke up in the morning and saw the screw on the ground beside him he quickly reached down and felt his belly button. The screw was gone! He sprung up with great joy but the minute he landed after his leap of joy his butt fell off. He froze in horror and started to scream "Why did my butt fall off?" over and over.

The moral of the story is "Don't mess with things you don't understand or you will lose your butt."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jj8o8
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
The Joke that caused my dad to be "randomly selected for a drug test" at work.

To give a little background: My dad was a truck driver at the time, and he never saw something on the side of the road or that had a "free" sign on it that he could drive by without at least taking a look. My brother in law was a sheriff's deputy. He told this joke to my neighbor, I will try to do it justice.

My dad, his dispatcher(DIS), and lady neighbor(LN) are outside talking and it goes something like this:

Dad: Ugh, What a f--king week. I can not believe it.

LN: What happened?

Dad: I was in Georgia and I saw this cooler in the far corner of the rest area, just as you're about to leave. I looked around and I didn't see anyone... So I figured someone had forgotten it on their picnic... It was a nice ass cooler too. Igloo brand with the heavy duty wheels. It was beautiful.

LN: Let me guess, you took it and the food that was in it?

Dad: Oh god I wish, It was a nice cooler. So, I go over and I'm still looking around in case the owners are still there. So I get to the cooler and I'm thinking "jackpot." The outside looks amazing. So, I go to open it up to see if whatever is inside is salvageable or if i needed to throw it out. I open it up and I jumped back and screamed.

LN: What was in it?

Dad: FEET. HUMAN FEET. I'm thinking what the hell did I just stu...

LN: NU-UH, ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?!

Dad: YES I'M SERIOUS.. So by this time, I'm seriously freaking out and I have no clue what to do. I nearly passed the f--k out. I had no idea what I should do.

LN: (with her hands over her mouth in horror) OMG, WHAT DID YOU DO?

Dad: Well, you know my son-in-law is a police officer in Florida..

LN: mmhmm

Dad: Well, I didn't know what to do so I called him.

LN: What did he tell you to do?!

Dad: Call a tow truck.

LN: ....what?

Dad: Get it, toe truck?!

LN: YOU'RE SUCH AN ASS. OMG I HATE YOU.

DIS: Oh, look at that, M*****, I just got word from the office that you're up for this month's random drug test.

Edit: Formatting errors, sorry guys!

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/heythereanny
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2015
🚨︎ report
I felt like a hero when I donated that kindey to save a kid's life

Figured the collection was getting a bit too big so why not

credit to the r/TwoSentenceHorror subreddit

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImRoderick1303
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I need puns!

For my husband’s 40th birthday. I am having a horror film lovers bday party. For the food choices I want to do horror film puns such as β€œFry-day the 13th” for fries. I was hoping this community could help me think of more horror film puns with food! Help a girl out to make this the best birthday ever.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beensbeensbeens
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2022
🚨︎ report
Went to the museum of horror the other day. Made my hair stand on end

All the displays were static.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/denandbil
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Three boys go into a haunted house

They snuck from their beds in the middle of the night and met in the gloomy darkness in front of the house, shivering in the cold.

The first boy said in a loud whisper, "You guys bring anything?" He slid a gun out of his pocket. The second boy nodded and revealed a knife. The third boy pulled out a flashlight.

"You didn't bring a weapon?" the first boy asked. He shrugged and replied, "Sorry". And as if to prove it, he turned his pockets out to show nothing but stray lint and a pack of cough drops.

They crept in. The door shut behind them. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. The flash light clicked on. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door on the other side, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a dead body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They found a fully set, ornate dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal goblets, pitchers and silverware adorned the table. Spiders crept over ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hel

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 95
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun and one brought some cough drops

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?

"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"

In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and

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πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I'll stick to my ribs

A woman walked into the kitchen one day and saw, much to her horror, her husband sitting at the table with blood all over most of his face, his chest, hands, arm, and on the table. She watched for a moment, shocked, as he began pouring barbeque sauce on his arm where most of the blood was coming from.

"Stop that! What are you doing!? What happened to your arm?!" She finally managed to scream as she unjammed all the words trying to flow out at once.

Her husband looked at her with a disgusted frown and a shake of his head and replied "I've made a terrible me-steak"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dazmo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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