I dad joked my flatmate in the supermarket

I was stood around making bad jokes about cereal and he says "can we leave the cereal isle now?"

as if god himself had placed them there i turned to the closest box of cereal near me and said

"cheerio"... of course the box was cheerios which made all of this possible.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/strawhatrs
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2015
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If your name is Faim and you own a house, your hall would be the Hall of Faim.

The Script and will.i.am could be your flatmates

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisish2k
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2017
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flatmate got me...

flatmate has returned from overseas, they were coughing in the kitchen while doing dishes...

I said "oh no you have ebola!"

flatmate "no I have E-Plate-a"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lovableMisogynist
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2014
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Vegetable Chilli

My vegetarian flatmate was cooking for us this evening and I asked him what he was cooking. Flatmate: "I am cooking a vegetarian chilli"

Me: "Oh so you're making Chilli non carne"

Everyone in the room groaned and threw something at me, I don't think they appreciate me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tomleah
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2014
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Had a gem about the dog today.

Flatmate: Ah! Ronald [the dog] gets so smelly after he sweats! I didn't even know dogs had pores! I thought they sweat by panting or something!

Me: What are you talking about!? Their paws are on the bottom of their legs!

heavy groaning by everyone in the room

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jckmrshll
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2015
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