Decided to quit while I was a head.
Itβs really remarkable.
I mean, there just remarkable!
He got rubbed out
He's not a ruler.
Pencilvania
It's supposed to be a real big expo.
Canβt we just chalk about it?
-
Kroger
-
Wal-Mart
-
Lucky's
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Whole Foods
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Winn Dixie
etc, etc
Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.
3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.
5/4 of people admit theyβre bad at fractions.
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.
A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. βIβd like some wings and a pint of beer, please,β it says. βSorry, but I canβt serve you,β the bartender replies. βYouβre out of your head.β
A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'
A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.
A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. βWe donβt serve your kind here,β the bartender says. βWhy not?β one yogurt asks. βWeβre cultured.β
A friend of mine didnβt pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.
A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. Heβs an extremely aggressive janitor.
A guy walks into a bar, and thereβs a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, βWhat are you staring at? Havenβt you ever seen a horse tending bar before?β The guy says, βItβs not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.β
A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, βWhatβs with the paper towel?β The pirate says, βArrr! Iβve got a Bounty on me head!β
A turtle is crossing the road when heβs mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, βI donβt know. It all happened so fast.β
Armed robbersβsome say theyβre a drain on society, but youβve got to give it to them.
Barbersβ¦you have to take your hat off to them.
Can February March? No, but April May!
Cooking out this weekend? Donβt forget the pickle. Itβs kind of a big dill.
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.
Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.
Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!
Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.
Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. Thereβs Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewisβ¦ Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?
Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!
Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape
... keep reading on reddit β‘I am remarkable!
"...and came out with two cases of beer!!!"
*written on before...*written on again... some jerk keeps rubbing it off π
That's remarkable!
The eraser replied "you have a point."
-As told to me by seven-year-old Gibson M. L.
We have a dry erase board at work. Usually I'm the only contributor for jokes and they need to be appropriate. Here was today's
I'm tired of hearing people tell stories about circles. There's no point.
That's remarkable!
Would it kill the makers of avocados to include a different toy, like a mood ring or a novelty eraser?
I was helping her do some initial pencil line work for a painting that she is working on, and she said to me "I don't know where my kneaded eraser went." To which I responded, "Well, I guess it was needed elsewhere."
She looked me dead in the eyes and just said, "You disgust me."
Itβs remarkable
Itβs remarkable.
the Dry Erase Board has been the most remarkable.
They are absolutely remarkable
When my dad saw it he took it and started to rub me with it
Is the dry erase board!
It's remarkable.
The dry erase board is probably the most remarkable.
The dry erase board is easily the most remarkable.
the dry erase board is probably the most remarkable.
The dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.
The dry erase board is the most remarkable.
Dry erase boards are the most remarkable
The Dry-Erase Board has been the most Remarkable!
The dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.
...the dry erase board is probably the most remarkable.
The dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.
...Iβll admit, they had a point, but I still think the argument will be erased in time.
The dry erase board is the most remarkable.
