The Chicken Dominator pizza that Domino's sells in my country is an excellent nickname to give to an S&M dungeon master.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrunicornman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2015
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Grandma is the dominant pun master in the family. (I’m in Collegeβ€” that’s why she says the first comment)
πŸ‘︎ 584
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πŸ‘€︎ u/henriley
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2017
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Every Sunday I read the Times and complain to my kids about that orange haired narcissist dominating the paper by insulting and mocking everyone, especially those closest to him.

That Garfield needs to learn how to think about more than just himself and his next plate of lasagna.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/phish_tacos
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
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France gave perfumes to countries it dominated in the past...

That was classic Colognialism

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
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The first rule of world domination is to always capitalize on your enemies mistakes

ON YOUR ENEMIES MISTAKES

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2018
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From my 10-year-old: Who is the dominant school supply?

The ruler.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mlucasr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
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Some say the post office is a very mail dominated workplace...

..But if a woman wants to work there i say letter.

πŸ‘︎ 408
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gronnybons
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2017
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I flew home for Christmas and decided to bring back a global domination-themed board game. I recognize that it could have been dangerous to bring that game on the plane...

But it was a Risk I was willing to take.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tasty_rogue
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2014
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514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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A husband and wife architect team were planning their next project . . .

The domineering wife thought the house needed a cantilevered balcony while the husband thought that it would ruin the aesthetic of the design. She told him he was an idiot and to keep his mouth shut. His friends hated to see her treat him so badly.
They always said β€œWhy cantilever?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
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In space, two aliens are talking to each other.

The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the Earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons."

The second alien asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"

The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have them aimed at themselves"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeowMixSong
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2017
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My dad at basketball games

We were at a basketball game where our team was taking on the University of Niagara. Our team was dominating and my dad leans over and goes.

"I wonder if we would have played Viagra instead of Niagara the competition would have been a little stiffer."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kweb1023
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2013
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If I say "Lel" and my mom says "Lel", But my father doesn't say "Lel".

I guess that means my mom has the Dominant AlLELe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chewy_64
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2015
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My jokes are so cheesy. If I was in the Olympics...

I'd dominate at the 100m curdles.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spanks_Hippos
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2016
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Dad Joked my wife

At my son's soccer practice, I noticed that one kid was kicking the ball with his left foot. (That's hard to learn for right handed/right leg dominant kids). his mom piped up and told me the kid was ambidextrous. I looked at my wife and said "or is he ambifootstrous?"

She groaned, but the other mom laughed. :D

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DavidTigerFan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2014
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