My teacher likes to start every day by reading a joke from Reddit. She was sick the other day, so
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οΈ Mar 12 2021
Today is the day I can post it
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οΈ Mar 02 2021
I forgot to post this on Pi Day. Oh well! The Argyle Sweater for 3/14/21
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οΈ Mar 15 2021
In the old days, excessive use of commas was considered to be a serious crime.
It usually resulted in a long sentence.
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οΈ Mar 16 2021
I was walking with my son the other day...
He picked up an acorn and asked me what it was. I told him it was a tree. He said really? I said, well in a nutshell yes.
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οΈ Mar 06 2021
My wife saw me drinking from a Halloween skull the other day
Wife: whoβs skull is that
Me: a man named Phillip
Wife: whatβs in it?
Me: vodka and orange juice.
Wife: .......
Me: itβs a Phillips head screwdriver
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οΈ Mar 16 2021
I've had the most emotional cake day ever
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οΈ Mar 11 2021
A policeman pulled me over the other day and started crying as he was writing me a traffic ticket. I asked him why was he crying?
He said it was because I committed a moving violation.
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οΈ Feb 28 2021
Vocabulary for the day
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οΈ Mar 22 2021
Went to the zoo the other day.
The only animal they had was a dog. It was a shitzu.
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οΈ Mar 08 2021
I got an vinyl album of wasp sounds the other day. Played it, didnβt sound anything like wasps!
Then I realised I was playing the bee side.
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οΈ Mar 03 2021
I saw some bees the other day...
I don't see what all the buzz is about.
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οΈ Mar 28 2021
I went to a Ford dealership the other day looking for a specific model. The salesman told me they didnβt have what I was looking for and that I wasnβt allowed to leave.
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οΈ Mar 09 2021
I had to replace a broken window the other day.
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οΈ Mar 14 2021
I read a book about an immortal dog the other day.
it was impossible to put down.
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οΈ Mar 23 2021
I threw a Duracell at someone's head the other day and it cracked his skull
I was arrested and charged with battery
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οΈ Mar 11 2021
The other day I had to climb up some equipment at a cheese making factory.
I thought that it was strong enough to clamber up, but it ended up giving whey.
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οΈ Mar 27 2021
if someone drinks the same tea every day with no interest in trying any new blends
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Mar 21 2021
When life sends you a lemon, squeeze the day.
ποΈ 4
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οΈ Mar 18 2021
I was telling Dad jokes the other day.
Turned around, and realized it was Mom.
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οΈ Mar 09 2021
So I was at Chiliβs the other day and when a waiter came to take our order, I asked him to turn the heat up and when he asked why
I replied it seems a bit chilly in here. Iβm now banned at all Chiliβs restaurants in the USA
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οΈ Mar 26 2021
What's the worst day of the week?
ποΈ 4
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οΈ Mar 28 2021
I told a joke about hemorrhoids in a hospital the other day.
It didn't sit well with some of the patients.
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οΈ Feb 25 2021
A guy stopped me in the street the other day to ask why I was carrying a 9ft book.
I said "It's a long story".
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οΈ Mar 03 2021
Was watching Arrested Development the other day and my girlfriend made a groaner of a dad joke.
Lucille: βI have to get Dusty ice cream.β
GF: βDusty ice cream doesnβt sound very goodβ
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οΈ Feb 25 2021
You know what was really cool back in the day?
ποΈ 12
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οΈ Mar 18 2021
I went to the park the other day and saw a guy flying one of those tiny RC quadcopters.
I asked him about it and that was a mistake.
He just kept droning on and on!
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οΈ Mar 10 2021
I met a dolphin the other day,
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οΈ Feb 26 2021
Text message conversation with my dad the other day, where I out-dadded him.
Dad: Give me your best knock knock joke. Or jokes. Do it when you can no rush.
Me: Does it have to be a knock knock joke or can it be any joke?
Dad: Knock Knock.
Me: Whoβs there?
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οΈ Oct 09 2020
I saw two snails fighting the other day.
They were really slugging it out.
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οΈ Mar 15 2021
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer the other day. I donβt know what he laced them with but, Iβve been tripping all day....
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οΈ Mar 08 2021
I found out the other day that the flying spaghetti monster has a lot of anxiety.
I guess he suffers from impasta syndrome
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οΈ Mar 28 2021
i cant believe i got fired from the calendar factory, all i did was take a day off.
ποΈ 15
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οΈ Feb 27 2021
The day I turned 42, my daughter walked up to me and said "happy...", and started timing on her watch. After a long silence she said...
"...40 second birthday".
I was so proud.
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οΈ Sep 22 2020
I purchased a new kitchen sink and the delivery man never told me he left in on my doorstep. Sat there all day
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οΈ Mar 04 2021
Fun Fact For The Day...
When Alan Turing was cracking codes during WW2, his sister Kay was providing drinks, snacks and sandwiches for him and his colleagues.
ποΈ 7
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οΈ Mar 26 2021
I asked my friend to come to the gym with me. He said he was busy for the next 7 days....
Bit of a week excuse if you ask me.
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οΈ Mar 18 2021
What do you call the ancestors of the modern day scissors?
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οΈ Mar 29 2021
The other day, I bought some decorative pillow cases from a sketchy website.
Turns out it was all just a sham.
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οΈ Mar 27 2021
My kids came out of school and told my partner they have made cards for her for Mother's Day. I asked for a card, but they said I had to wait until Father's Day. I told my boy I had made a card for him, and he could have it the day after tomorrow,
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Mar 12 2021
We know the Panama has had its problems, and the Suez had that ship stuck recently, but my co-worker must know of another problematic waterway. Every day he yells out...
βFar Canal. I hate this placeβ.
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οΈ Mar 29 2021
Prediction: There will be a minor Baby Boom in 9 months, and then one day in 2033 we will witness the rise of
ποΈ 27k
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οΈ Aug 19 2020
Saw 3 Mexicans in my backyard the other day.
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οΈ Mar 10 2021
What are the strongest days of the week?
Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
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οΈ Jan 29 2021
I posted something on here the other day and didnβt get a single upvote
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οΈ Dec 04 2020
I saw Kate Middleton's sister leaving a plastic surgeon's office the other day, but I can't tell you what work she had done.
That would be a Pippa violation.
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οΈ Mar 08 2021
I washed a few $20's the other day...
A very angry IRS agent called me and threatened me with serious fines and jail time for committing tax fraud.
I guess they take money laundering very seriously....
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οΈ Mar 27 2021
Why do I feel healthy on Saturdays and Sundays, and so sickly for all the other days ?
Maybe, I just have a weekend immune system.
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οΈ Feb 06 2021
My teacher likes to start every day by reading a joke from Reddit. She was sick the other day, so
ποΈ 115
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οΈ Mar 12 2021
I got an vinyl album of wasp sounds the other day. Played it, didnβt sound anything like wasps!
Then I realised I was playing the bee side.
ποΈ 39
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οΈ Mar 02 2021
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