Whats the best time on a clock?
Before the clock strikes midnight on december 31st be sure to lift your left leg
That way you will start off the new year on the right foot
Just saw that joke about eating a clock for the umpteenth time. Finally decided to try eating a clock myself, but now I'm freaking out.
I think I picked up a nervous tic.
Why did The conservative get rid of his alarm clock?
Because every morning it wanted him to get woke
The most important thing to me is my alarm clock
It’s what gets me out of bed in the morning
Why did the clock get fat?
It kept going for seconds.
Just found myself with problems in the bathroom as the clock struck 12...
Did you hear about the new song by Olivia Newton John about clocks?
Let's get digital, digital.
My wife didn’t like my idea to market a line of belts with little clocks built into the buckle.
She said it was a waist of time.
What Happens If You Are Sitting on the Toilet at 11:59 and the Clock Strikes Midnight?
Same shit, different day.
What is the downside to eating a clock?
I took my Clock to see the doctor
one arm is shorter than the other
The longest hand on a clock is always the oldest
What does the clock do when it’s hungry?
It goes back four seconds.
What did the tick say to the clock?
What are you tocking about?
Have I not yet told you my summary about the history of clocks?
You know the worst thing about eating clocks?
What did they call the London clock tower after it started leaning off to the side?
I'm in the process of adjusting the clocks in my house
Now all my rooms but the kitchen sync.
Why was the clock not worried after getting an arm amputation?
Because it had a second hand.
Finally finished my huge book on the history of clocks.
My wife was disappointed with the castle shaped clock I bought for her birthday....
But it’s the fort that counts.
I predict clocks will take over the world.
It’s only a matter of time.
People keep talking about eating clocks here, so I decided to eat one too while I was in line at the DMV.
Sure enough, my weight went up by several minutes.
why was the clock afraid it would get sick?
because its hands were constantly touching its face
What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?
Bob Dylan came to my house the day after Daylight Savings and adjusted all of my clocks.
He said the times they were a-changin’.
A clock is the most likely object to get corona
because it always has its hands on it's face
I looked at the clock earlier and it read 1:44
Make sure that your left leg is up before the clock hits midnight tomorrow.
That way you start 2021 on the right foot.
Before the clock strikes midnight on December 31st be sure to lift your left leg.
That way you will start the new year off on the right foot.
What is the best time on the clock?
What is the downside to eating a clock
Its time consuming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What's the downside to eating a clock?
6:30 is the best time on a clock
What’s the downside of eating a clock?
It’s very time consuming.
What's the downside of eating a clock?
What did the tick say to the clock
what are you tocking about
What’s the downside to eating a clock
6:30 is the best time on the clock
I was sitting on the toilet at 11:59 p.m. and noticed the clock turn to midnight.
I thought, “Same shit. Different day.”
What's the downside to eating a clock?
It's time consuming (Joel's joke from TLOU2)
What’s the best time on a clock?
What does the clock do when it's hungry?
It goes back four seconds.
Why did the man stop eating clocks?
Because it was too time consuming.
What’s the best time on a clock?
I was sitting on the toilet having a poop when the clock struck midnight
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