Did you hear about the crook who was stealing guitars from classic rock stars?

He was just arrested for Petty theft.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aloiciousss
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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The lift is from a company named Schindler...so it’s Schindler’s Lift...is this set up as pun on the classic film Schindler’s List? My head is spinning
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jackaldo7
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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The New Tarantino Classic
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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I was walking past a shop, and there was a classic bomb in the window Beside it was a sign that read "$1, irreplaceable fuse"

I said to myself "That's an offer I can't refuse"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Secretseacrits549
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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Ah! You fell for one of the classic blunders!
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JDogg323
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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Why are the classic musicians so creative?

they think outside of the Bachs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aggeliki04
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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Classic dad joke! .. click on the cross post to view the full joke /r/3amjokes/comments/hdpt…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Satwik_Pandey
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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What’s the difference between a cult classic and occult classic?

About 1000 years

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrFruigle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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Alright....time for a classic. The Ceo of Datsun was talking to his other high ranking workers when it had just been founded and said, you have 2 days to come up with a name for our company

The workers in a thick Japanese accent said DAT SOON

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BF1gamerz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
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Just witnessed this classic on the bus

Passenger: Which bus are you?

Driver: I'm not a bus, I'm the driver.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YourYam
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2017
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The Classic Dad joke. Remastered.

You: Dad, im a Communist.

Dad: Hi hungry I'm Dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GenuineSlav
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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Respect the classics, man.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doFloridaRight
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2018
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I'm a fan of the classic dad jokes. "Where do Dads store their jokes?"

The dadabase

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πŸ‘€︎ u/juicestah
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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Timmy cooper classic: Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one and let the other one off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jonjk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
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A classic dad joke, but the comic does it all.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DommageFromage
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2013
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What did the classic Greek Scholar say to the fat bloke trying on skinny jeans in his boutique?

Euripides, you pay!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stevebox2345
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
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Posted this classic to the work corkboard, and my manager followed it up with another good pun underneath it. imgur.com/OoOpuBD
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2017
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Back in the days I started to read the classics, but my friend thought it was just waste of time.

Well after 1984 I didn’t have much energy for The Idiot anyways.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lum1nar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
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Have you heard about the classic painters subscription box?

It's a pay-as-you-van-Gogh model.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Socratio
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2018
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A classic dadjoke at the dinnertable

[The family have just sat down at the dinner table for their evening meal together, and are chatting about their day and the food]

Mother: Oh, by the way, if anyone wants any more fish fingers, they're cooking in the oven.

Daughter: Okay. How long will they be?

Father: About two and a half inches.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/megamouth2
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2014
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found this old classic while i was packing to move, the memories and nostalgia hit me like a Flood. imgur.com/9FlTV9c
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spudmcnally
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2013
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The first comment, classic dad

I was watching this video about how to unlock safe and the first comment made me laugh. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApJQ2wcYjBo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeanleonino
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2017
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The classic-est of Dad jokes

My dad was helping me put up a mountable TV stand in my apartment. He takes out his stud-finder and holds it up to his chest, chuckling, "Hey look, I found a stud". My mom gave the same eye-roll and half-smile she's been giving him for the past 38 years.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/atlantis145
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2013
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The old "make the wife a shopping list" classic.
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2013
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The classic

Wife: Kids! Come down for dinner!

4yo: Dad, I'm hungry.

Me [pauses for dramatic effect because we all know it's happening]: Hi, Hungry... I'm Dad.

4yo: NO! I'm not Hungry!

Me: Oh, ok. Honey, 4yo isn't hungry.

Wife: He doesn't want dinner?

4yo: No. I am hungry.

Me: Oh hi, Hungry, I'm Dad.

4yo: ARGH!!!!!!

7yo: Ugh. Just ignore him, 4yo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chaosTechnician
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2017
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Classic dad at the Verizon store

My dad and I walk into the Verizon store because my mom's iPhone mysteriously stopped working. The clerk working at the front desk came up to us an asked us a few questions about the phone. He asked my dad, "Have you ever introduced the phone to water?" To which my dad quickly responded to with "Yes, I said, phone, this is water. Water, this is phone. " the clerk didn't get why my dad and I started laughing.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2014
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NFL Bad Joke Telling: All the Classic DadJokes and with Athletes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqxBFY-M1KM

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nothumbs78
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2017
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New to the subreddit but I've yet to see this classic

"hey son, how do you make a match burn twice?"

"I couldn't tell ya dad"

lights match "one.."

touches match to my skin "two!"

I cower in pain

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πŸ‘€︎ u/luvstosmooch
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2013
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A classic that my dad used to say all of the time.

Me: Dad, make me a sandwich!

Him: POOF! You're a sandwich!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/catface1468
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2013
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My daughter's only 4 years old and she set me up for the classic Dad joke

I was busy cooking us pancakes for breakfast when she came out with this one:

Her: Dad you're a pancake.

Me: Huh? I'm not a pancake.

Her: Hi Not-a-pancake, I'm Silvia.

Me: proud tears of joy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoulFate
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2015
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(Classic) What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/verysupermario
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2016
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Kids today don't get my references to the greats of classic comedy like Groucho, Harpo and Chico

I give them high Marx if they do.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2016
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Classic dad joke, heard this one at the store yesterday.

Wife: Watch my purse.

Dad: Why? Is it going to do a trick?

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2017
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One of the classics.

Always happens, I swear.

"Oh, you got a haircut!"

"I got all of them cut."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigbossodin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2015
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Classic dadjoke at the ER

Last night at around midnight, I took my friend/roommate/exboyfriend to the ER when he came literally crawling to my room incoherent and sweating and shaking because of head pain.

When we got there I called his parents to let them know what was going on. They rushed over and met us in his room where the doctor was giving him some neurological tests. The ER doc decided it was most likely a migraine or cluster headache and gave my friend pain medicine and an IV, but wanted to do a CAT scan just to rule out any bleeding.

So they took him off to get the scan, and his parents and I sat around talking. His dad was practically falling asleep in his chair as I had woken them up with my call, but he still managed to drop this one when they wheeled my friend back into the room:

He gave the nurse pushing my friend's cart a worried look. "Don't sugar coat it, did you find any cats in there?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whatthefox1818
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2014
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The classics are always the best
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πŸ‘€︎ u/huskorstork
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2013
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Idea for the next Star Trek TV show: back to classic Trek. The newest Enterprise, exploring the galaxy. Twist: it's crewed entirely by aliens

Star Trek: the Mex Generation

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2016
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Classic dadjoke at Work the Other Day.

Father and son place there order and arrive at the cash register to pay and the total was $12.03.

Dad "You got three cents?" Son "No." Dad "Course not you got no sense."

son groaned, I chuckled

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πŸ‘€︎ u/loknarrDotF
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2014
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Dad got me with a classic yesterday on the phone

Dad: "The boat has a broken impellar"

Me: "A Broken what?"

Dad: "Impellar"

Me: "How do you spell that?"

Dad: "t-h-a-t"

....sigh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBeesSteeze
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2014
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My Dad hits me with the classic every single time...

Dad: Do you want a sandwich?

Me: No thanks, I don't really feel like a sandwich.

Dad: pokes arm Yeah, you're right.

God damn it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nathanplays
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2013
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Some classics and the horrible consequences they cause...

http://www.buzzfeed.com/jemimaskelley/ten-tickles?utm_term=.seNDBY8Q4&sub=4015207_6808513

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πŸ‘€︎ u/geak78
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2015
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Saw this classic dadjoke at the flea market.

http://imgur.com/OfH9PlI

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wtayjay
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2014
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Classic joke after forgetting something in the house.

Me: Bye dad, I'll see you in a few hours after I get home from the movies!

Dad: Bye!

me leaving and returning 5 seconds later because I forgot something such as my keys or gkasses

Dad: Wow, you're back so quick! That must have been a short movie!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Battletooth
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2013
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I teach the child of a classic dad-joker.

A student I teach came up to me yesterday and told me her dad always says a certain joke at home.

Me: Oh yeah? How does it go?

Her: First you have to tell me your hungry.

Me: Sorry. I'm not Hungry. I'm Mr. Ridicuhsweet. But it's nice to meet you!

Glad I could extend her dad's humour to the classroom.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ridicuhsweet
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2014
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Some classic dad jokes from the walking dead

http://imgur.com/gallery/POURE

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πŸ‘€︎ u/freeofthought
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2014
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Classic dad joke in an old episode of the PBS children's cartoon "George Shrinks"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/proletarium
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2014
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