My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
What do you call a woman that would rather stare at her phone than look up at the Northern lights?
We have a joke calendar and we missed this week, my wife was having me guess the answers and we ended up accidentally creating this gem: what do you call a cow that was just born?
Rick Astley rents the movie Up from the rental store, 3 weeks later he gets a call from the rental store employees saying that his rental is 3 weeks overdue, what does Rick Astley say?
A total dad joke I made up last night- What do you call an avocado that's giving you the silent treatment?
What do you call the guys who sweep up after a wedding?
What do you call a candle made up of the melted remains of other candles?
Call a plumber. The tub is all pugged up.
What do you call it when the grocer fails to clean up a mess in the store?
A wrecked aisle dysfunction.
During my trip to Madrid I was staying at this small motel when I grew pretty ill. Thankfully the people at the front desk sent the on call doctor over and he was able to fix me up real quick. I told him I didn't expect such a small place to have such a good doctor, to which he told me
Nobody expects the Spanish Inn Physician
Whoever came up with the word dentures really missed an opportunity to call it "Substi-tooths".
Every morning at 3am, I have to get up and go to the bathroom. I guess that’s why they call it the wee hours of the morning.
What do you call a toddler running towards their mother with arms high up in the air?
What do you call it when a bunch of crows accidentally show up to the same place at the same time?
I want to open up an ophthalmologist office for homosexuals. I’ll call it, “The Gaze”
What does the soldier call picking up the dog poop?
What do you call a crumpled up page of a book on the ground?
What do you call a scam where folks who engage in wordplay invite others to engage in wordplay, and folks who were there longer get credit for what the newer folks come up with?
That would be a punzi scheme.
What do you call a snake pressed up against the front glass of a car?
I told the hotel receptionist, “I would really like a wake up call”.
She said, “Get off Reddit for once and do something productive.”
What do you call it when too many dogs show up at the emergency room?
What do you call the runners up award at an astronomy competition?
Call my Dad on the phone: "Hey Dad, what's up?"
"Oh, not much, just the price of gasoline."
Every. Single. Time.
You'd think I'd learn, but now it just feels wrong if I don't greet him that way...
Dad calls me up with this one and my mom is cackling in the background
Dad calls me up: "Hey, son, what do you call a thousand rabbits standing abreast and jumping backwards? It's a receding hare line."
I can practically hear the look on my dad's face over the phone.
Dad calls me up and tells me, "On this October 21, 2015, I see most of the people with bad manners are gone ...
... we're Back to the Few Churls."
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
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