Did you hear about the wig heist in broad daylight ?

That was a pretty bald move

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobotFK
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
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Studying abroad

It has just become clear to me that my parents and I have very different views on the meaning of studying a broad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timthedriller
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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An Ode to 2 Dead boys!

One broad day in the middle of the night, 2 dead boys got up to fight! Back-to-back they faced each other, they drew their swords and shot each other. A deaf policeman heard the noise so he came and shot the 2 dead boys, if you don't believe my story is true ask the blind man he saw it too!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mylar321
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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How do you get to Mathew McConaughey's house from here?

You just go down to the corner of 5th and Broad, and then go "Al-right Al-right Al-right."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OCHafler
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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Queen Elizabeth visited an Edinburgh hospital recently...

She enters a ward full of patients, and notices that they’re all dressed in street clothes and have no obvious sign of injury or illness. The Queen approaches a patient and greets him. The patient replies:

β€œMy heart’s in the Highlands, my heart is not here, My heart’s in the Highlands, a-chasing the deer.”

The Queen is confused, but smiles and moves on to greet the next patient. The patient responds:

β€œSome hae meat an’ canna eat, And some wad eat tha’ want it, But we hae meat an’ we can eat, so let the Lord be thankit.”

Even more confused, and smiling even more broadly, the Queen moves on to the next patient who immediately begins to chant:

β€œMy love is like a red, red rose that’s newly sprung in June; My love is like the melody that’s sweetly played in tune.”

Now very confused, the Queen turns to the accompanying doctor and asks, β€œIs this a psychiatric ward?”

β€œNo, Your Majesty,” replies the doctor. β€œThis is the serious Burns unit.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatboyfat1981
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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After all these years, he's still got it.

Being a father of my own, I'm still envious of the masterful skill in which my dad can come up with his material. While driving down the interstate, a Miller Lite truck pulls out in front of us, more quickly than he should. My dad swerved to the left to avoid my door from getting broad sided by a tractor trailer. I yelled from being startled.

Me: He almost hit us!

Dad: We're fine. I can handle this.

Me: He almost totaled the car! What if he had hit us? I could be dead!

Dad: Nah, you would've been fine. It was Lite beer.

Me: (jaw dropped in awe and amazement)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/taggsyoureit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2014
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The adventures of Max Dad, P.I.

The sun shone into my office through the lowered blinds all clumsy like, fumbling through the gaps between the venetian slats like a drunk fishing for loose change in his pockets; trying to see if he has money enough for one last drink or maybe the bus ride home.

The dame looked me up and down, clearly disappointed by what sat in front of her. I didn’t blame her. Three days of salt and pepper stubble clung to my my crude boxer’s jaw and the bags under my eyes were so big half the bums downtown could sleep in there and not even know anyone else was with 'em. That was ok. This broad wasn’t hiring me for my looks and I wasn’t looking to her for approval. We both knew what brought her in here, it was the name on the door.

Max Dad P.I. - that’s me. Private Investigator’s sure not the profession my mother would have picked out for me, but it keeps me in whisky and it keeps a roof over my head and that’ll do for now. The dame parted those cherry red lips of hers as she took another pull on that just-lit cigarette and nervously stubbed it out in the ashtray. My eyebrows knit together slightly. I hate seeing things go to waste.

β€œSo as I was saying, Mr Dad,” she began.

β€œPlease, call me Max”

β€œAlright, Max… well, as I was saying, my bag is missing. Stolen, I think. I urgently need it back. Shall I describe it to you?”

β€œNo that’s alright miss. You got nothing to worry about,” I replied, sliding a bottle out of the desk drawer and pouring a big slug of scotch into to my morning coffee, β€œI’m sure it’ll be a brief case.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnyohnny
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2016
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Two different dads, two similar dad-jokes.

I have a real dad, and a fake dad (my best-friend's stepdad.) I told them both that I wanted to study abroad in the summer.

Real dad: "Why do you want to study abroad? You're already a broad!" Fake dad: "I've studied a broad or two in my day!"

Har. Har.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VonSandwich
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2013
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I told my dad a semsester in Europe would be awesome and this is his response.

Me: Hey dad I'm thinking of studying abroad. Dad: Just make sure its the right broad hahahahaha

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πŸ‘€︎ u/medabee120
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2014
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Grandpa pulled this one out today...

My brother started to tell my grandpa about his plan to study abroad in Japan for the summer.

My grandpa asked "Who's the broad?"

I don't even think he meant it as a joke and just misinterpreted, but I can't stop laughing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lordoftime
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2014
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Studying Abroad

This is a conversation with two of my friends in college. Friend 2 is showing some true dad material already.

Friend 1: "I really want to go study abroad in Europe"

Friend 2: Study Abroad?? Who's the broad?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/forcefx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2013
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Studying abroad

I was talking to my dad about the possibility of traveling to another country and studying abroad. When I asked him if he's ever studied abroad he replied, "I've studied many broads."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StarryEyedLepus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2013
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