I’ve been having to use lettuce as TP since the Covid craziness

The worst part is the news says this is just the tip of the iceberg and what I need to use as TP tomorrow romaines to be seen. Stay safe kids, Dad

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I found out why everyone is collecting TP

It’s because an asteroid might hit us next month. ..... and ... paper always beats rock

πŸ‘︎ 72
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StaggerLee194D
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Growing up, my Dad was King of the TP empire.

I guess that makes me Prince Charmin.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSaltyDave
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't know why so people are buying so much TP

But I wish someone would get to the bottom of it.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ryden22
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
🚨︎ report
TP'd TiPi
πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SlimDickMcFatNuts
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
All these peeps rushing out to buy TP...

... such crap

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Please forgive me for my inability tp resist.
πŸ‘︎ 98
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the_second_choice
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
🚨︎ report
UA /TP HAV /SK CLR /TB LGT /IC CLR /WV 120010 ; UA /TP PAP /SK SCT /TB MDT /WV 080025 /FL 020 ; UA /TP KIN /SK OVC /TB SVR /WV 240050 /FL 03

These are the PIREPs of the Caribbean.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DocDerz
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend got invited to TP someone's house by a friend.

Being poor, starving, university students, I said "Why would you waste perfectly good toilet paper?" to which she replies "C'mon dude, don't be a party pooper."

groaning intensifies

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JaeqPiegDeivys
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2014
🚨︎ report
The Costco employee said "I'm sorry Sir, we're rationing.

[Looking over cart full of TP]

Me: "Nice to meet you Rationing, I'm Hoarding"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/robinson217
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Public places never have shitty toilet paper...

until you use it.

Edit: I came up with this whole using a public restroom that have the worst tp.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/V2Slash
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Found this here a while ago:

My grandparent grew up in the Soviet Union. One cloudy day, as they were walking down the street perception started falling.

My grandmother thought it was snow, while my grandfather thought it was rain.

Their passionate arguing was noticed by the local head of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union, a good friend named Rudolph.

After they told him of their dispute, Rudolph stated that it was in fact rain.

With a smile on his face my grandfather turned tp his wife, and said: "You see, Rudolph the Red knows rain dear"

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mike_the_hun
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2017
🚨︎ report
My uncle hit my cousin with this yesterday.

http://i.imgur.com/DKPosTP.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mudboy7
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2014
🚨︎ report
GF's dad dropped this on me

Telling joke to gf when my girlfriends dad tells me to check my coat pocket I do and find a roll of TP Girlfriend's dad promptly retorts "I am on a roll."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bochekz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2014
🚨︎ report
Taken from the "Aron Ralston, who amputated arm to escape canyon, jailed in Denver" Thread. Seems like a dad joke.

http://i.imgur.com/iJlDlTP.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Larrry_David
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.