Superman and Chuck Norris made a bet

Whoever loses the fight has to wear their underwear on the outside.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gingi0
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Who is Superman's shortest girlfriend?

Lowest Lane

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Why won’t superman invest in Bitcoin?

Because his weakness is krypto

πŸ‘︎ 190
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nohpetsallowed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you call it when Superman is unable to do something?

Clark Kent

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I was at a club last night where they had a Superman themed night.

You should have seen the queue to the cloakroom.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Why can nobody catch Superman?

Because he always has a great "S" cape.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFifthStep
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
I went to a Superman themed nightclub

Everyone looked really fly...

also there was a massive line for the cloakroom.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/beastieboys1987
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
The reason Superman can't defeat Dracula...

is because he can't go near the crypt tonight.

πŸ‘︎ 100
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mex5150
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can’t Superman beat Dracula?

Because he can’t go to the Krypt Tonight.

(I’ll see myself out)

πŸ‘︎ 129
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend asked me if I wanted to hear a really good Batman impression, so I said go on then. He shouted, β€œNOT THE KRYPTONITE!” and I said, β€œThat’s Superman…”

β€œThanks, man, ” he replied, β€œI’ve been practicing it a lot.”

πŸ‘︎ 21k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GhostPotency
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Tired of the cold, Superman traded the Fortress of Solitude for a house in Italy...

He invited Lois Lane to visit. Her plane was late, and she called the house to ask directions. He answered and told her:

"Take the last train to Clark's villa, and I'll meet you at the station."

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPossible
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did Superman cancelled today's tinder date?

The girl asked if he wanted to see her crib tonight

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SeBAGeNetiC
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
"Hey Superman, are you a part of a gang?"

"Several, actually, depending on the day. I'm a kryptonight."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zombie-narwhals
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Unfortunately, Superman won’t be able to fight Dracula this evening...

He won’t go near the crypt tonight.

πŸ‘︎ 197
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What does Superman take with his drink?

Just ice.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MyfanwyTiffany
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to a Superman themed party.

But I had to leave early because there was a massive queue for the cloakroom.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Superman can to do a lot of impressive things but...

Clark can't.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/H-DaneelOlivaw
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Where does Superman buy his food?

In a supermarket.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crazy4llama
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Superman and I had an arm wrestling competition

The loser had to wear their underwear over their pants.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tahmid5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call Superman in a bank robbery?

Man of Steal

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/anay666
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is baby Superman vulnerable at night?

Because he sleeps in his crib tonight

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/microwaveDiamonds
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
β€ͺAn evil French chef mixes Kryptonite in their treats and flings them at Superman. Batman arrives on the scene but does nothing, allowing Jimmy Olsen to catch the pastries in a net, at which point Superman saves the day. It’s like they say:

Not all heroes snare crepes.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/atruthtellingliar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does Superman get invited to dinners?

Because he is a Supperhero.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What is baby superman afraid of?

His crib-tonyte

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jack_Forrest
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can't Superman ever drive to the top level of the parking garage?

Because he always stays in the Lois Lane

Kill me pls

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ts84g
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report
TIL: There’s a long lost episode where Superman nearly dies because of an ill-fitting costume.

He had a narrow S cape.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Everyone knows that Superman’s Dad is Jor-El, but his germophobic uncle is relatively unknown.

Pur-El.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
If Superman worked at a convenience store

He'd be clerk Kent

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cfeuer1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that Superman and Batman are splitting off to form their own team?

They’re calling themselves the Just Us League.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mlnkoly111
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
The flash, Batman, and Superman create a standup group. Can you guess what they’re called?

The DC Comics

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jack-b1501
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Oh Superman
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/therealdbar
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2018
🚨︎ report
What did Superman's dad say after they thanked him for saving Krypton?

Jor-El Come

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theenigmacode
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
They called this one inmate in prison Superman

Yeah, you can say with all the time he was doing for burglary and larceny, that he was the "man of steal."

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend asked me if I wanted to hear a really good Batman impression, so I said go on then. He shouted, β€œNOT THE KRYPTONITE!” and I said, β€œThat’s Superman…”

β€œThanks, man, ” he replied, β€œI’ve been practising it a lot.”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkSideDweller
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to a Superman themed nightclub.

Everyone looked really fly, but there was a massive queue for the cloakroom.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
My son asked me, β€œDo you want to hear a really good Batman impression!?” I said, β€œGo on, then.” He shouted, β€œNOT THE KRYPTONITE!” I laughed, β€œThat’s Superman.”

He said, β€œThanks dad, I’ve been practicing a lot.”

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
My son asked me, β€œDo you want to hear a really good Batman impression!?” I said, β€œGo on, then.” He shouted, β€œNOT THE KRYPTONITE!” I laughed, β€œThat’s Superman!”

He replied, β€œThanks dad! I’ve been practicing a lot!"

πŸ‘︎ 744
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Superman can fly. Clark Kent.
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does Superman get invited to dinners?

Because he is a Supperhero.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does Superman get invited to dinners?

Because he is a Supperhero.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does Superman get invited to dinners?

Because he is a Supperhero.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does Superman get invited to dinners?

Because he is a Supperhero.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report

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