Superman and Chuck Norris made a bet
Whoever loses the fight has to wear their underwear on the outside.
Who is Superman's shortest girlfriend?
Why won’t superman invest in Bitcoin?
Because his weakness is krypto
How do you call it when Superman is unable to do something?
I was at a club last night where they had a Superman themed night.
You should have seen the queue to the cloakroom.
Why can nobody catch Superman?
Because he always has a great "S" cape.
I went to a Superman themed nightclub
Everyone looked really fly...
also there was a massive line for the cloakroom.
The reason Superman can't defeat Dracula...
is because he can't go near the crypt tonight.
Why can’t Superman beat Dracula?
Because he can’t go to the Krypt Tonight.
(I’ll see myself out)
My friend asked me if I wanted to hear a really good Batman impression, so I said go on then. He shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” and I said, “That’s Superman…”
“Thanks, man, ” he replied, “I’ve been practicing it a lot.”
Tired of the cold, Superman traded the Fortress of Solitude for a house in Italy...
He invited Lois Lane to visit. Her plane was late, and she called the house to ask directions. He answered and told her:
"Take the last train to Clark's villa, and I'll meet you at the station."
Why did Superman cancelled today's tinder date?
The girl asked if he wanted to see her crib tonight
"Hey Superman, are you a part of a gang?"
"Several, actually, depending on the day. I'm a kryptonight."
Unfortunately, Superman won’t be able to fight Dracula this evening...
He won’t go near the crypt tonight.
What does Superman take with his drink?
I went to a Superman themed party.
But I had to leave early because there was a massive queue for the cloakroom.
Superman can to do a lot of impressive things but...
Where does Superman buy his food?
Superman and I had an arm wrestling competition
The loser had to wear their underwear over their pants.
What do you call Superman in a bank robbery?
Why is baby Superman vulnerable at night?
Because he sleeps in his crib tonight
An evil French chef mixes Kryptonite in their treats and flings them at Superman. Batman arrives on the scene but does nothing, allowing Jimmy Olsen to catch the pastries in a net, at which point Superman saves the day. It’s like they say:
Not all heroes snare crepes.
Why does Superman get invited to dinners?
Because he is a Supperhero.
What is baby superman afraid of?
Why can't Superman ever drive to the top level of the parking garage?
Because he always stays in the Lois Lane
Kill me pls
TIL: There’s a long lost episode where Superman nearly dies because of an ill-fitting costume.
Everyone knows that Superman’s Dad is Jor-El, but his germophobic uncle is relatively unknown.
If Superman worked at a convenience store
Did you hear that Superman and Batman are splitting off to form their own team?
They’re calling themselves the Just Us League.
The flash, Batman, and Superman create a standup group. Can you guess what they’re called?
What did Superman's dad say after they thanked him for saving Krypton?
They called this one inmate in prison Superman
Yeah, you can say with all the time he was doing for burglary and larceny, that he was the "man of steal."
My friend asked me if I wanted to hear a really good Batman impression, so I said go on then. He shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” and I said, “That’s Superman…”
“Thanks, man, ” he replied, “I’ve been practising it a lot.”
I went to a Superman themed nightclub.
Everyone looked really fly, but there was a massive queue for the cloakroom.
My son asked me, “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!?” I said, “Go on, then.” He shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” I laughed, “That’s Superman.”
He said, “Thanks dad, I’ve been practicing a lot.”
My son asked me, “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!?” I said, “Go on, then.” He shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” I laughed, “That’s Superman!”
He replied, “Thanks dad! I’ve been practicing a lot!"
Superman can fly. Clark Kent.
Why does Superman get invited to dinners?
Because he is a Supperhero.
Why does Superman get invited to dinners?
Because he is a Supperhero.
Why does Superman get invited to dinners?
Because he is a Supperhero.
Why does Superman get invited to dinners?
Because he is a Supperhero.
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