I answered 'in sundae school', he laugh-snorted, my wife gave me the look we all know here.
I guess that time at sundae school paid off...
Just because I refused to work on a Sundae!
Me: "How much do Saturday's cost?"
Sundae.
Pretty terrible, but this is what I get
He said yes. Which was weird, because I swore it was a Saturday.
"Do they have old strawberry Mondays?"
No thanks, it's only Thursday.
At Sundae school!
Probably angel food cake.
No deviled eggs.
Miracle whip on all his sandwiches.
Thomas's English muffins? Doubt it.
Hearts of palm on ice cream (a palm sundae).
Keep it going!
I don't like working on sundaes.
Me: โSundae School.โ
If your onion sang hip-hop, would that be a rapscallion?
I used to be an astronaut, but I got tired of eating out of satellite dishes. I wasn't allowed to eat the Milky Way, even though I had to look at it every day. The worst thing was, I never got to visit The Space Bar. Then, when I was visiting the dark side of the moon, I was bitten by a parasite. Now, you might think it's crazy, but the doctor who removed it called it a lunar-tick.
If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced "boom"?
China recently tested a new steroid. It basically turns you into The Hulk. The side effect is it could turn you into a crazed zombie that tends to rip the upper extremities from people. People are saying that this could be the zombie apocalypse. In my opinion, lips have nothing to do with it. I call it ARMageddon. The only way to stay safe now is to not let anyone close enough to disarm you.
I recently was going to join the railroad union. I decided against it because it's complicated. If I received instruction on driving the locomotive, would they call it engineering, or training?
I got a sad story about a flower. I don't know who the heck she pissed off, but damn, now she's a Black-Eyed Susan.
I finally figured out what makes leaves angry. Fall. They get so mad they change color. Some are yellow. They're just afraid and run from their problems. The other ones usually just leave.
I went parachuting with my military buddies once. We landed on a department store. I told him I think we're at the wrong coordinates. He said: "Nope. We're right on Target"
I asked a psychologist if Native Americans have strong emotions. He said "Oh yeah, they're intense".
If a psychotic person thought something made sense, would that thought be psychological?
If Matt Damon were searching for a secondhand store, would he be Goodwill Hunting?
My friend is a Marksman for the military. One day, he went to the armory and asked for 3 snipers. They gave him a candy bar. It was a 3 Musketeers.
I want to be there if Dwayne Johnson ever uses a pizza stone. That way I can smell what "The Rock" is cookin'.
Christopher bought a lemon, and the car broke down. Now Christopher Walken.
Have you heard about the latest bank battle on Wall Street? Capital One and Chase got in a fight and Capital One.
You know what a pirate says to his wenches when he sees the shoreline? "LAND HO!"
A man finds a lamp in the desert and dusts it off. Poof! A genie p
... keep reading on reddit โก
It was his sundae school.
Yeah, life was tough in the gateau.
The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.
Puns for Kids
Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!
What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!
Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.
What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!
Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.
How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!
No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasnโt chicken!
What musical is about a train conductor? โMy Fare, Ladyโ.
A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
What animals are on legal documents? Seals!
Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!
Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.
Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!
How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!
Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
Dockyard: A physicianโs garden.
What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!
The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.
โWhatโs purple and 5000 miles long?โ โOoh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!โ
Every calendarโs days are numbered.
This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. โFour bucks,โ says the bartender. โPut it on my bill.โ
I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.
What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!
When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When heโs a dandelion (dandy lion).
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.
A bicycle canโt stand on its own because it is
... keep reading on reddit โกHer: "I look forward to graduating and having free Sundays"
Me: "I think Friendly's gives you a free sundae if it's your birthday."
Her: "YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!"
"***HI THIRSTY, I'M FRIDAY, COME ON OVER SATURDAY AND WE'LL HAVE A SUNDAE!!***"
Come on dad I didn't even get that one until I was like 14.
Whenever there were ice cream sundaes dessert menu and it was a cute waitress, when asked to choose, Dad would say, "Show us your knickerbockers!"
I've tried this now I'm an old dad but I'm just 40 years too late.
He refused to work on sundaes.
He would say: "I'm Friday, let's go Saturday and have a sundae."
When I die, I would like my body taken to an ice creamatorium. Then, I would like a traditional sundae service. (credit to David Sedaris)
Me: "Dad I'm thirsty."
Dad: "Hi thirsty! I'm Friday, wanna go out Saturday and have a sundae?"
I have loved this ever since I began understanding just how awesome these jokes are.
Me- "I'm Thirsty"
Grandad - "Hi Thirsty, I'm Friday, wanna get together Saturday and have a sundae"
God, I miss that man.
"Dad, can we have an ice cream sundae?"
"Not today. It's Saturday."
He laughed.
#***"HI THIRSTY, I'M FRIDAY! COME ON OVER SATURDAY AND WE'LL HAVE A SUNDAE!!"***
Come on Dad, you said it every fucking time and I didn't even get this one until I was like 14. All I wanted was some water, but no, you've gotta be an asshole about it.
Quick backstory: there is a bar in my town that all new alumni of the town's university sign upon graduation. My friends and I were in their celebrating a 21st birthday on Saturday and I just graduated. The bar is a restaurant in the daytime and they have great sundaes.
My friend asked the bartender for a sharpie so I could sign the ceiling. The bartender didn't have one and this was our exchange:
Me: "Ah let's come in tomorrow and get sundaes and I'll sign the ceiling."
Friend: "Sounds good to me."
Me: "It could be a sundate."
Friend: "Really...."
Me: "Convenient on Sunday!"
Friend: "Jokes on you it's going to be really cloudy!"
Me: "So then it's just clou-day."
Friend: "Get out." (Turns back to me while cringing)
And by that I mean your Mom is going to get ice cream.... a sundae, get it
We're at dinner at the local pub at the moment: Sis: If you sing happy birthday to me i might get a free sundae! Dad: What would you have gotten yesterday, a free saturday!?!?!
We were getting some ice cream when he said: "Whoa! That's a huge sundae. "
I said "It's more like a whole weekend."
When I was little, Dad used to treat me to an icecream Sundae from McDonald's every now and then. The only thing was, these days never seemed to fall on an actual Sunday. "Yes my good man, one Chocolate Tuesday please!"
I ordered my dessert...a sundae with no nuts. I said, "I hate nuts on a sundae...they ruin it!" My dad replied:
"So, you prefer them on a Saturday?"
The waitress waked into the kitchen at my work and this exchange followed:
Waitress: I am so hungry.
Me: Hi, So Hungry, I'm Dan.
Guy beside me: Nice to meet you I'm Friday. Come back Saturday and I'll give you a sundae.
He and I broke into childish laughter at this. I didn't see her face, but with that kind of joke, you don't need to.
A man in line in front of me getting ice cream at the local ice cream stand with his grown daughter.
Dad: flippin' bills Order now, my treat
Daughter: Sundae
Dad: It's Saturday
smirks and slyly looks around
Person at drive-thru: Welcome to McDonald's can I take your order?
Dad: yes,I would like a chocolate fudge sundae female please.
Person at drive-thru: ummm sorry female?
Dad: yes female, no nuts.
Never failed to pull up to the window to a blushing employee...
Hope it doesn't matter I'm a girl. My son hates this one
Little me: I'm thirsty
Uncle bud: hi I'm friday, lets get together on Saturday and we'll have a sundae.
My friend (who is most definitely a dad) busted this one out on me the other day.
-
Me: Hmm... I'm thirsty.
-
My Friend: Nice to meet you, Thirsty. I'm Friday. Come over Saturday and we'll have Sundaes.
[edit: formatting]
Invariably at a restaurant:
- Time for dessert. "Do you want a Sundae?" "Well you can't have one because it is only Saturday."
- leftovers at a chinese restaurant. "Can we have a dragon bag?" (instead of a doggie bag)
- At Taco bell. "Do you want the chiwauwa tacos?"
Dad, I'm Hungry.
Hey Hungry, I'm Thirsty.
Let's meet up Friday and
have a Sundae!
when I was little tears of frustration would ensue.
Sunday school.
Because it's Sundae
Sundae school
At sundae school.
In sundae school
At sundae school.
At sundae school!
Go to sundae school!
Sundae School
Sundae school
Sundae School.
Sundae school
"Hi, Hungry. I'm Friday. Come over on Saturday and we can have a Sundae."
"Are you kidding me?"
"No, I'm Dad."
Me: "I'm thirsty" Dad: "I'm Friday. Come over Saturday and we can have a sundae"
Me: man, I really want a sundae. Dad: what do you mean, it is Sunday?
Me: Dad I'm thirsty
Dad: Hey Thursday, I'm Friday come over Saturday and we'll have a Sundae
Me: I'm thirsty
Dad: Hi thirsty, I'm Friday. Let's go out Saturday and we'll have a sundae.
...my dad would reply, "I'm Friday! Come over Saturday! We'll have a Sundae!"
Dad: Hi, I'm Friday, why don't you come over Saturday for Sundaes?
