I would prefer to sell the three for 25$ though Iโm open to trade for Warhammer comics. (I also have the Darth Vader run 1-25 missing five issues of interested)
TLDR: The cards tell a better narrative than whatโs contained here, this just ties it all together in a poorly narrated, mechanically shot story format. Itโs best used as a source to update the Wikipedia entry for War of the Spark, so you get the Cliffโs Notes without having to subject yourself to it.
Like many, I looked forwards to the WAR spoiler season with anticipation. More stories! More characters! Bolas and Ugin and the Gatewatch! The cards, phenomenal. The art, amazing! The storyโฆlacking. No story because it was all supposed to be contained in novels. We were all left wondering what the hell happened because the prequel novel hasnโt dropped yet, which leaves us with the story as it happens. I bought the e-book of Amazon, and as soon as I could, I set offโฆdownward.
THIS IS BIASED. IT IS FULL OF SPOILERS. THEY DID MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS DIRTY AND I HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT IT.
YOU ARE WARNED.
The biggest point of contention is going to be the characterization of our favorite โwalkers. The novelโs chapters are structured to be written from the point of view of various โwalkers, but there was nothing that made them stand out or feel distinct, aside from what weโre explicitly told. Everyone reads like the idea of a cool, totally awesome person as imagined by a teenager. To be fair, there are attempts to give each of them a personality, but itโs trite and thereโs no โwowโ moment where character have a unique voice. When introduced, theyโre referred to like Daenerys Targaryen being introduced for the first time; title, guild, power, name. Jace (a Planeswalker and telepath who is the Living Guildpact which isโฆnever mind), is cool and collected and cool, Karn makes overly-literal commentary, Chandra is a walking โfiery redheadโ stereotype, and Gideon (โGidsโ,โBeefslabโ) is a morally upright meathead, in a soft-jock kind of way.
And Bolas. Poor Bolas is written less like Palpatine, and more like Snidely Whiplash. He spends most of the story sitting on a throne metaphorically jerking himself off as he watches Planeswalker sparks fly into his magic ball, taking breaks to deride allies/minions as โstoogesโ and Villain Monologuing/narrating to himself and the reader. Heโs confidant in the manner of a Saturday morning cartoon villain, with smug quips that would need laugh-track support to be considered amusing. [Weisman credits himself as one of the creators of the seminal Gargoyles](https:
... keep reading on reddit โกPeople were talking a couple days back about how they wanted a Drunk History-style summary of War of the Spark. I, a person who does comedy writing, is a hardcore Vorthos, and saw half an episode of Drunk History at an Applebee's with the sound off once, sensed an opportunity. If you guys want more, I'll slow roll these out over the next several days, because I get more karma that way this week is busy for me with Avengers, pre-releases, seeing comedy shows, and being in comedy shows.
If you really like this, the best way to support me and get more of these in the future is to actually buy the damn book. More sales equals more books equals more jokes about books. And, despite all the potshots I'm taking at it, it's a fun book with good writing and I'll feel like shit if everyone skips the actual novel and the guy who wrote the Gargoyles TV show ends up homeless.
PRELUDE
"You and I are scheming," Ugin laughed, schemingly.
"Yes. Yes, we are scheming," Niv-Mizzet's ghost smirked, dropping obscure hints towards future plot points.
"But, to clarify, our schemes are cheeky and fun, whereas Nicol Bolas' schemes are cruel and tragic."
"Yes, yes."
"Alright, this session of mutual dragon masturbation has been fun, but I have things to do."
"At least give me a towel to clean up. Bastard."
TEYO VERADA
"I am the first Latinx planeswalker," says Teyo. "I think toilets are magic. This is definitely not racist."
"Quick, there is a diamond-storm coming," says Teyo's teacher. "Use your geometry shield powers to triangulate the hypotenuse of the midpoint."
"X equals 43?"
"You fool. You utter buffoon. If this was a real emergency you would have been logarithmed to death. Rhombus."
"Pretty lights," says Teyo, with the restraint and caution that YA novel protagonists are known for.
"Stop, you parallelogram!" the teacher shrieks. "Convex toroid Euclidean hexagon!"
Teyo is buried alive under diamonds. This is what happens when you walk out into a diamond-storm. Fortunately, there is a spark of hope, as an ember in his heart sparks up, igniting his inner spark.
He planeswalks, is what I'm saying.
CHANDRA
Chandra sits in her mother's apartment on Kaladesh. It is rent-controlled.
The rest of the 'watch is here with her, planning an attack on Nicol Bolas. (It is called the 'watch because Chandra is hip and yeets.) Every member of 'watch is describ
... keep reading on reddit โก
Ladies, gentlemen, & exceptional souls!
Fellow fantasy nerd here, looking to expand my literary horizons and read a fun sci fi novel. Iโd prefer a standalone book as opposed to a series, but Iโm also open to starting a series as long as itโs no longer than 3 or 4 books.
Also, Iโd prefer it if it was a little upbeat and had some fun alien races in it, a la Star Wars or Guardians. I tried reading a more serious military-themed space novel and gave up halfway through; it just wasnโt my cup of tea.
Thank you!!
UPDATE: Thanks for all your responses!! These all look amazing. In the end, I went with Vorkosigan and the Honor Harrington series. Looking forward to a fun read!
#Episode 11: Heartless Choice
#้ๆ ใฎ้ธๆ
THIS IS A LIGHT NOVEL READER THREAD. ANIME-ONLY WATCHERS SHOULD DISCUSS HERE.
Translated (including fan translated) light novel spoilers can be discussed without tags here. Untranslated content must remain tagged โ violators will be banned for 7 days and repeat offenses will be banned for longer, depending on spoiler severity.
Knowledge of the main series anime up to and including Ordinal Scale is assumed in this thread. Spoilers for SAO, SAO II, Ordinal Scale, and Alicization Part 1 can be untagged.
Streaming Sources
The English dub airs every Saturday night on Toonami at 12:30am EST! For countries other than the US, check your local distributor!
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War of Underworld
Episode 10 - Stacia, the Goddess of Creation
Episode 7 - Brand of a Failure
Episode 6 - Battle of the Knights
Episode 5 - Night Before Battle
[Episode 3 - Final Load Test](https://www.reddit.com/r/swordartonline/comm
... keep reading on reddit โกLord help me, I'm back on my bullshit.
Buy the damn book, piracy is only cool when Vraska does it
My Twitter, where I'm snarky about things other than the Magic story
My Ko-Fi, because you get what you pay for
A silly video I made a few weeks back
GIDEON JURA
Muscle RighteousFace fights valiantly against the Eternals with Blackblade. Blackblade whispers dark temptations to him, but Biff ProteinScoop refuses the call, because he is pure and mighty, like an untouched sheet of soft December snow atop a ShakeWeight.
Vivien Reid joins the party and starts throwing Pokรฉballs left and right. It's not very effective against the aerial onslaught of aven Eternals. The Parhelion II shows up. It's super effective. Hero SquareJaw horsejacks a pegasus off a dead legionnaire and rendezvouses with Aurelia in the skies.
"Nice horse," she says. "I trained it myself."
"What's its name?," Justice McPecBounce booms in a trumpet-call of a voice.
Aurelia smiles. "I named it 'Gideon's Two Days Until Retirement'."
CHANDRA NALAAR
Chandra stares in awe at the Vitu-Ghazi cathedral. "So beautiful," she whispers. "So harmonious. So combustible."
"Bad Chandra," Jaya snaps, hitting her with a rolled-up newspaper. "No immolation inside the house."
"FUCK OFF WE'RE FULL," shouts a Selesnyan centaur guard.
A zombie bird swoops down and eats his friends.
"I STILL ADVISE YOU TO FUCK OFF BUT WE DO HAVE OPENINGS."
Nissa 'walks in and animates Vitu-Ghazi. It is pleased as punch to be the Godzilla-er for once in its millennia-long life instead of the Godzilla-ee.
Chanda looks up and smiles at Nissa, turned on, but in a straight way.
RAL ZAREK
Ral tries to find Tomik, his lover, who is gay (cool!) and an Orzhov lawyer (I am indifferent!). He meets several Eternals. One well-written fight scene later, he is surrounded by delicious fried zombie. He bursts into Tomik's apartment, and finds... nobody!
Boy, howdy, this scene would be packing an emotional punch right now if we had read th
... keep reading on reddit โกThe story can be read here: https://www.foxnews.com/world/world-health-organization-january-tweet-china-human-transmission-coronavirus
My question is: Did the Chinese authorities lie to the WHO or could it be possible that they knew about the virus and still believed there was no human to human transmission? Personally I find it hard to believe the Chinese authorities did not know about this considering:
- we have reports from Taiwan that they told WHO.
- Other countries when they first encountered the virus confirmed quickly that human to human transmission exists.
- Infection rate of 2-3 (current estimates) is hard to miss to be frank, you'd have to be pretty clueless to miss this sort of thing.
Then the further question is: how much blame does this place on the Chinese government for the current predicament the world finds itself in?
What up, it's me ya boiiiiiiii
Chapters 1-10, 11-20, 21-27, 28-32
Buy the goshdarn book. It's not Tolstoy, but I like having Magic novels, and Wizards doesn't have a history of continuing things that are poor sellers. Hell, they don't have a history of continuing things that are great sellers. Pour one out for Masters sets.
My Twitter, because I run on bagels and positive attention from Internet strangers.
My Ko-Fi. I need money to live. I need to live to write more of these. You have money. It's a perfect match!
KAYA
Kaya, Teyo, and Rat heads towards Vitu-Ghazi.
"Nissa will come with us, because she is ancient and wise and can translate the cryptic yet beautiful tongue of the elves," Kaya says.
"We all speak common, you know," Nissa huffs. "And I'm not ancient, I'm twenty-three, you 2016 Ghostbusters remake. Suck my ladydick."
"Truly, every word of their mystical language is a song unto itself."
"I THOUGHT I WAS RATHER EXPLICIT ABOUT OUR POLICY RE: FUCKING AND OFF," the centaur guard bellows.
"Does it help if mention my godfather is your poker buddy?" Rat asks.
"FUCK YEAH IT DOES."
"That seems... awfully convenient," Kaya whispers. "Also, why are you invisible to everyone else?"
"Excuse me," Rat tsks, "I mentioned that I had a godfather and ties to the Selesnya in chapter six?"
Teyo flips back a few hundred pages in his personal copy of the novel. "Wow, she's right."
Rat nods. "Just because you mentally checked out during the one time the novel set up a future pay-off, doesn't mean it didn't happen. And I'll explain the invisible thing later."
"ALRIGHT," the guard interrupts, "WE'RE OPENING THE GATE. EVERYBODY... UH... FUCK ON, I GUESS? EXCEPT THE ELF."
"What did I do?" Nissa bawls, elfily.
The guard motions to the smoldering worldtree-shaped crater behind him.
"Fair cop."
GIDEON
Fabio HonorChin
... keep reading on reddit โก
"His heart was full as Rey reached for his face, let her fingers linger against his cheek. And then, wonder of wonders, she leaned forward and kissed him. A kiss of gratitude, acknowledgement of their connection, celebration that they'd found each other at last.
But then she drew back, concern on her face. She could feel him growing cold.
Ben smiled at her.
Hello fellow salt miners. Like many of you I've been very disappointed with the storyline choices of the Disney Trilogy. 10+ years waiting for the next SW movie after the PT, 30+ years waiting to see the continuation of Luke's story and they rewarded us with a bitter old man milking alien tits and a fakeout lightsaber battle where he dies at the end. This is no way for Luke Skywalker to go out.
I've never read a Star Wars novel before, though I'm familiar with some of the EU/Legends. But I want to see Luke train the next generation of Jedi. I want to see the Jedi Academy, new threats to the galaxy, not Old Man Palpatine hooked up to a life support system. I want to read about General Leia and Han doing courageous things as the new heads of the reformed Republic. Basically, I want to see the galaxy post-RotJ as it should be, not as a Disney cash grab reset to recapture old nostalgia.
Can anyone recommend me a novel, or even a series of novels, where I get to see Jedi Master Luke train new padawans? It doesn't have to entirely focus on him, I'm fine if he's more of a background character to the new Jedi, but I want to feel that positive vibe coming from his victory and how the galaxy adjusts to the new normal without the Sith. Help me bleach my brain of the DT!
#Episode 1: In the Northern Lands
#ๅใฎๅฐใซใฆ
THIS IS A LIGHT NOVEL READER THREAD. ANIME-ONLY WATCHERS SHOULD DISCUSS HERE.
Translated (including fan translated) light novel spoilers can be discussed without tags here. Untranslated content must remain tagged โ violators will be banned for 7 days and repeat offenses will be banned for longer, depending on spoiler severity.
Knowledge of the main series anime up to and including Ordinal Scale is assumed in this thread. Spoilers for SAO, SAO II, Ordinal Scale, and Alicization Part 1 can be untagged.
Streaming Sources
The English dub airs every Saturday night on Toonami at 12:30am EST! For countries other than the US, check your local distributor!
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Previous Discussions
Alicization
Episode 22 - Titan of the Sword
Episode 19 - Seal of the Right Eye
[Episode 18.5 - Recollection](https://www.reddit.c
... keep reading on reddit โก#Episode 9: Sword and Fist
#ๅฃใจๆณ
THIS IS A LIGHT NOVEL READER THREAD. ANIME-ONLY WATCHERS SHOULD DISCUSS HERE.
Translated (including fan translated) light novel spoilers can be discussed without tags here. Untranslated content must remain tagged โ violators will be banned for 7 days and repeat offenses will be banned for longer, depending on spoiler severity.
Knowledge of the main series anime up to and including Ordinal Scale is assumed in this thread. Spoilers for SAO, SAO II, Ordinal Scale, and Alicization Part 1 can be untagged.
Streaming Sources
The English dub airs every Saturday night on Toonami at 12:30am EST! For countries other than the US, check your local distributor!
Show Information
Previous Discussions
War of Underworld
Episode 7 - Brand of a Failure
Episode 6 - Battle of the Knights
Episode 5 - Night Before Battle
[E
... keep reading on reddit โก#Episode 6: Battle of the Knights
#้จๅฃซใใกใฎๆฆใ
THIS IS A LIGHT NOVEL READER THREAD. ANIME-ONLY WATCHERS SHOULD DISCUSS HERE.
Translated (including fan translated) light novel spoilers can be discussed without tags here. Untranslated content must remain tagged โ violators will be banned for 7 days and repeat offenses will be banned for longer, depending on spoiler severity.
Knowledge of the main series anime up to and including Ordinal Scale is assumed in this thread. Spoilers for SAO, SAO II, Ordinal Scale, and Alicization Part 1 can be untagged.
Streaming Sources
The English dub airs every Saturday night on Toonami at 12:30am EST! For countries other than the US, check your local distributor!
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Previous Discussions
War of Underworld
Episode 5 - Night Before Battle
Episode 1 - In the Northern Lands
Alicization
... keep reading on reddit โก#Episode 12: Ray of Light
#ไธ็ญใฎๅ
THIS IS A LIGHT NOVEL READER THREAD. ANIME-ONLY WATCHERS SHOULD DISCUSS HERE.
Translated (including fan translated) light novel spoilers can be discussed without tags here. Untranslated content must remain tagged โ violators will be banned for 7 days and repeat offenses will be banned for longer, depending on spoiler severity.
Knowledge of the main series anime up to and including Ordinal Scale is assumed in this thread. Spoilers for SAO, SAO II, Ordinal Scale, and Alicization Part 1 can be untagged.
Streaming Sources
The English dub airs every Saturday night on Toonami at 12:30am EST! For countries other than the US, check your local distributor!
Show Information
Previous Discussions
War of Underworld
Episode 10 - Stacia, the Goddess of Creation
Episode 7 - Brand of a Failure
Episode 6 - Battle of the Knights
[Episode 5 - Night Before Battle](https://old.reddit.com/r/swordartonline/comments/dty0vr/sword_art_online_alici
... keep reading on reddit โก)