Excuse me, doctor - my husband was rushed in with violent spasms in his buttocks. Where is he please?

ICU baby, shaking that ass

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👤︎ u/CPike90
📅︎ Apr 17 2019
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“Doc, my wife was just admitted to the hospital with violent butt spasms. Do you know where she is?”

Doctor: ICU baby, shaking that ass.

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📅︎ Jan 11 2019
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An involuntary spasm of the diaphragm... imgur.com/AXN6r1D
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👤︎ u/jasekj919
📅︎ May 22 2016
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One of my boy scouts asked me, "Sir, is this snake poisonous?"

I said, "No, that snake's not poisonous at all."

So the boy picks up the snake which bites him, and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror.

I continued, "But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys."

👍︎ 3k
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📅︎ Jul 28 2017
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Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant...

While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?'

The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'

The woman begins to turn blue, and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I never seed nobody done it.'

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👤︎ u/shimaxed
📅︎ May 12 2019
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Son says he is gay

Mother:Oh don't worry son, we love you for who you are

Dad:*clenches fists and twitches

Mother:Please don't do this

Dad:begins to have a spasm

Dad:Hi gay I'm dad

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👤︎ u/flippo436
📅︎ Jan 15 2019
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At work I dropped a bucket filled with mussels

Co worker asked "geez have a muscle spasm?"

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👤︎ u/Zoob123
📅︎ Jan 24 2016
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