Im beside myself
Only afterwards did I realize I cut off the punchline
She doesn't hear that often.
It’s almost never for them..
He said, "I dig the past!"
She asked me, “What are you going to do when we see it?”
Me: We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.
The son said, “What’s slash dad jokes?” Kids, right!
That he woke screaming two hours before his normal wakeup time, and has resisted all attempts to take his morning nap.
Joke's on you, Dad!
Because it's a semi autumn addict
He said, “Your days are numbered!”
I’m absolutely speechless.
Boyfriend: Did you hear about the mite that's killing all the honeybees?
Me: You don't know that!
Boyfriend: What? I thought I read something about it.
Me: Well, it isn't for sure! But it mite bee.
A guy walks into his dentist's office and says "Doc, I think I might be a moth."
The dentist replies, "ok.....so why did you come in here?"
The man says, "because the light was on."
My dad walked in and my dog was so excited and his tail was wagging so fast.
Me (to my dog) - If your tail wags any fast it's going to fall off
Dad (to my dog) - Then we'll have to take you to the retail store.
Glue, ten free.
I wet my plants!
I wet my plants.
I wet my plants
