What did the chicken say to the duck at the side of the road?
DON'T, you'll never hear the end of it
I ran out of gas on the side of the road. Along comes a swarm of bees.
I was confused, but they seemed friendly. I told them what was going on, and they said: open the gas cap. One by one, each bee flew into the tank, and to my astonishment the gas gage went from empty to full. The bees said: start the car. So, I did and it ran. I asked them: what did you put in the tank? Bee pee.
This guy was driving on the left side of the road
He just didn't choose the right thing
Without anything to secure it, and unbeknownst to the driver, the trailer careened off the side of the road
It went off without a hitch
I couldn't decide on which side of the road I wanted to use my loom. On the northbound side the southbound side looked better. And upon crossing to the southbound side, the northbound side looked better. The cops soon arrested me for operating under the influence.
They said I was weaving all over the road.
I found a sack on the side of the road. I reached inside to see if I could figure out who it belonged to. I think it belonged to Santa.
Went for a walk with my son and we saw a man on the side of the road yelling and swearing at his car. My son asked me what I thought the problem was...
I told him it was the car berater.
Two Donkeys were Standing on the Side of the Road...
One donkey said to the other “shall we cross over?” The other said, “we had better be careful look what happened to the Zebra!”
As told to me by my son.
I'm saddened to announce that due a recent warehose fire, I'm going to have to scrap my plans for a road side advertisement museum.
I really should have seen it coming. All the signs were there.
There was a farmer selling his produce at the side of the road, I pulled over as I was a bit hungry to get an apple. I noticed he also sold paracetamol and cough medicine. I asked him "why do you sell drugs?"
He said "I'm a farmer see"
It's not that drivers in Europe are driving on the wrong side of the road...
They're just not driving on the right side either.
In places where people drive on the left side of the road they don't have the right to drive
Why don’t you ever see crows dead on the side of the road?
They always have a buddy to scream “car, car!”
(An actual joke my dad told)
What do you call someone who sells pasta on the side of the road?
Why did animal control arrest the dog on the side of the road who was giving birth?
You hear about the tank that drove on the wrong side of the road?
It didn't have a great track record.
There was a man on the side of the road throwing bits of ice at taxis that drove by.
A concerned passerby stopped and asked him why he was throwing ice at taxis.
The man replied, "I'm hailing a cab."
I was driving along the road and there was this sign that said, "Road ahead closed. Please use other side."
A car pulled up beside me at the side of the road.
Its driver said, "Excuse me, buddy. I was wondering if you could give me a few directions?"
"Sure...North West and South East," I replied.
If the chicken crossed the road to get to the other side, why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the SHELL station
I saw a car on the side of the road and said that car is dead.
I could see it's tow tag.
I was driving and saw a Schmitt bread truck with a blown tire on the side of the road.
I was alone in the car, but still said "I bet he's having a schmitty day" and giggled like a dumbass all the way home
My dad, to me, as we're driving past a cemetery, "You know why all those people are buried in that cemetery on the east side of the road?"
Me: "No. Why?"
Dad: "Because they're dead."
When my Dad saw a man picking up trash on the side of the road . . .
"That guy's never going to worry about losing his job, you wanna know why? Cause business is always picking up"
Walking home from a football game, there's someone selling spring rolls at the side of the road...
Dad: "Given the time of year, you'd think they'd be fall rolls."
...
Friend asked me why british people drive on the wrong side of the road...
Told her it was because americans drive on the RIGHT side of the road!
England: where just because it's the right side of the road doesn't mean that it's the right side of the road.
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