Today I told my family that I would be going to Australia this afternoon.

Because I am going down unda’! (Anesthesia... I’m having surgery today.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gabeb71
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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Wife: "No. That's where I draw the line."

Wife says she's going to go finish cutting the grass (I am still recovering from shoulder surgery) and I told her "don't forget outside the fence."

To which she responded "nope. That's where I draw the line...."

So, of course, I responded "oh yeah? Well do ya know where I draw the line??"

"Hmm..."

"On paper!"

At which point she rolled her eyes and walked out to the garage...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2018
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Got my buddy at work today.

So my friend at work has been having some shoulder problems and he has some scheduled surgery for it.

Today he says to me: "God damn, my shoulder's really bad. I need this surgery done or i might as well just die."

I reply: "you should just die then. it would be a burden off your shoulders"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1000eb4000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2014
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