My friends sometime ask me why I yell at them all the time over instant message about this amazing new business opportunity I’m involved in that I’m really excited about! They also ask me if maybe if shift key on my keyboard is broken.

But I reply β€œNO I AM A CAPITALIST”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/allanon101
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
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My brother hit me with this after I questioned if he should be day drinking on a Wednesday.

"Don't worry, boss said it was ok"

He owns his own business.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/superAL1394
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2015
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My Hotel Experience

I was once staying at a hotel which had two lifts, one for the bottom half and one for the top. I was intrigued with the system and asked the manager about it, his response was a fairly terse one "no funny business here, take the lift like anyone else would" he said strictly.

During my stay I needed to get to the higher section of the building, leading me to use the top lift. However when I came to move it, it took quite the effort and persuasion to get it to shift. Once I'd fiddled around and pushed a few more buttons it slowly made it's way up.

It was at this point I realised the manager simply had a stiff upper lift.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CamelSandwich
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2016
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