What are some good puns for that name? (Preferably 1 word, instead of a whole phrase) thanks!
"I can, sir...."
Wrong! Car accident.
It's your one way chicken to midnight.
Boyfriend and I went to Portillo's (Italian Beef sandwich place in Chicago) and ordered sammies.
While we were eating, I started a story with the phrase, "so, I kind of have a beef with..."
He pauses, looks down at my now-empty sandwich wrapper and responds with,
"well, you had a beef..."
Also, I've stopped asking him to call my phone when I misplace it because I'm tired of the "what do you want me to call it?" response.
Boy and I have been together for...8 months or so, dad-jokes only got super frequent recently - men of /r/dadjokes - is this a condition that occurs after several months of dating? Please help.
:)
I said to my wife, "All these other drivers must be Sammy Hagar!" "What are you talking about?" "Because they can't seem to drive 55!" And the face palming proceeded.
So she said: "You should write 'Sammy' on the litter box."
Me: (Look at her dumbfounded for a moment, stutter mildly and speak quietly for emphasis, like how you would when telling a family member that a mutual loved one is very ill) "M-Mom...I..I don't think he can read."
I was telling my parents who live abroad the process of flying my cat home from college in the US. "So after I contact a broker in the Animal Quarantine department there and get their details, I have to contact United again and give them all the info about Sammy: the broker's contact, age/weight, size of the kennel..." Dad: "Why do they need to know the broker's weight?!"
Uuuuugggghhhhh
