Robin Nash Puns

#Tampa Bay Lightning (19-6-4) at Vegas Golden Knights (20-11-0)

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#In-Game Updates

###Boxscore

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I was curious to see who was the best player born on each day of the year. It turned out to be a bit more of a struggle than I thought it was going to be, so I decided to simply sort it by WAR. Does that mean that sometimes a better player got left off the list for a player who simply had a longer career? Absolutely. But WAR is a nice simple stat. So, here's the list!

January

• 1 – Tim Keefe
• 2 – Edgar Martinez
• 3 – A.J. Burnett
• 4 – Kris Bryant
• 5 – Bill Dahlen
• 6 – Early Wynn
• 7 – Johnny Mize
• 8 – Jason Giambi
• 9 – Stan Javier
• 10 – Willie McCovey
• 11 – Max Carey
• 12 – Bill Madlock
• 13 – Kevin Mitchell
• 14 – Sonny Siebert
• 15 – Bobby Grich
• 16 – Albert Pujols
• 17 – Darrell Porter
• 18 – Curt Flood
• 19 – John Matlack
• 20 – Brian Giles
• 21 – Mike Tiernan
• 22 – Amos Strunk
• 23 – Red Donahue
• 24 – José Quintana
• 25 – Danny Richardson
• 26 – George Blaeholder
• 27 – Bibb Falk
• 28 – Magglio Ordóñez
• 29 – Jason Schmidt
• 30 – Tony Mullane
• 31 – Nolan Ryan

February

• 1 – Paul Blair
• 2 – Wes Ferrell
• 3 – Fred Lynn
• 4 – Doug Fister
• 5 – Hank Aaron
• 6 – Babe Ruth
• 7 – Carney Lansford
• 8 – Dobie Moore
• 9 – Vladimir Guerrero
• 10 – Lance Berkman
• 11 – Jimmy Ryan
• 12 – Chet Lemon
• 13 – Sal Bando
• 14 – Pretzels Getzien
• 15 – Billy Hamilton
• 16 – Ben Sanders
• 17 – Wally Pipp
• 18 – Joe Gordon
• 19 – Dave Stewart
• 20 – Justin Verlander
• 21 – Alan Trammell
• 22 – Clarence Mitchell
• 23 – Ray Brown
• 24 – Honus Wagner
• 25 – Ron Santo
• 26 – Pete Alexander
• 27 – Johnny Pesky
• 28 – Terry Turner
• 29 – Al Rosen

March

• 1 – Paul Hines
• 2 – Mel Ott
• 3 – John Ward
• 4 – Dazzy Vance
• 5 – Sam Thompson
• 6 – Lefty Grove
• 7 – Jeff Kent
• 8 – Dick Allen
• 9 – Arky Vaughan
• 10 – John Briggs
• 11 – Bobby Abreu
• 12 – Jim Wynn
• 13 – Home Run Baker
• 14 – Kevin Brown
• 15 – Bobby Bonds
• 16 – Buddy Myer
• 17 – Charlie Root
• 18 – Dwayne Murphy
• 19 – Clayton Kershaw
• 20 – Joe McGinnity
• 21 – Manny Sanguillén
• 22 – Billy Goodman
• 23 – Mark Buehrle
• 24 – George Sisler
• 25 – Tom Glavine
• 26 – Kevin Seitzer
• 27 – Buster Posey
• 28 – Lon Warneke
• 29 – Cy Young
• 30 – Chris Sale
• 31 – Jack Stivetts

April

• 1 – Phil Niekro
• 2 – Luke Appling
• 3 – Guy Hecker
• 4 – Tris Speaker
• 5 – Bill Dinneen
• 6 – Bert Blyleven
• 7 – Adrián Beltré
• 8 – Gary Carter
• 9 – Doc White
• 10 – Ken Griffey Sr.
• 11 – Bret Saberhagen
• 12 – Vic Willis
• 13 – Lorenzo Cain
• 14 – Greg Maddux
• 15 – Willie Davis
• 16 – Paul Waner

1. Anthony Michael Hall: Lied that he gave her incurable STDs, impregnated her and caused the baby's death
2. Roger Bart: Had swaths of her Twitter followers harass him when he did not want to move into a house with her, leading to him shutting his Twitter down.
3. Sean Van der Wilt: Had her fans harass him for years after he broke up with her following a relationship full of emotional and sexual abuse, on top of outing him against his will
4. Daniel Carrol: An ex-fan of hers that she vilified in order to victimize herself in the eyes of the internet when she was under heat for supporting Trump & being racist.
5. Robin Williams: Made videos right after him unaliving himself claiming he was her client without any evidence, shared the myth on multiple platforms including H3
6. Avi Kaplan: After a FWB situation went sour, again used her fans to harass him via social media, speaking about him for months on end.
7. Jon Hill: Threatened to go on her live and talk smack about him the day before his court hearing to worsen his case just because he was interested in another woman & wanted to leave.
8. Jason Nash: After countless acts of physical, sexual and emotional abuse, she spoke about him for 3+ years, turned his children's lives into a living hell and used the H3 platform to vilify his character beyond issues that had nothing to do with her.
9. Dissociadid: After falsely appropriating the mental health condition "DID" that was being featured on Anthony Padilla's channel, she used her fishies to harass an actual patient with a diagnosis of the condition for responding to the false information she spread on her channel.
10. Gabbie Hanna: After she did the right thing and told her friend, Jason, to get himself checked for STDs because Tricia herself claimed to have incurable ones, she harassed her for 2+ years, and used the H3 platform and audience to vilify her. Claimed that she had to 'hire 24 hour security' because of her.
11. Nikocado Avocado: Used her platform to bully him after asking him for a collab and ditching him. Bodyshamed him for years and used the fishies to terrorize him across social media.
12. Charli D'amelio: A 16 yo she actively and knowingly bullied into a mental health breakdown because she did not eat a snail. Her channel is full of videos of her wasting food, spitting out veggies, etc. Increased her TikTok income significantly by causing a child to experience intense psychological p

I personally love Nick Cannon hosting The Masked Singer. I think he adds to the show a lot. I'm wondering how everyone else feels!

https://preview.redd.it/8ci030hiym281.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=2d58ee62ed43c854a09b247f4a346c135a55778e

Just want to preface this by saying, all of this work and research was done by u/Adapt_Evolve_Become so shout out to their family! I wanted to make sure this got saved since its well done research and probably took a long time to put together.

The Handmade Bracelets Debacle [Trisha Paytas' Endless Greed]

In 2012, Trisha announced she is selling handemade swarovski bracelets to her followers. (Note: She couldn't even pronounce swarovski properly!) It was later revealed that she purchased the rhinestone shamballa bracelets from eBay for $1-5, says she handmade them and in true Trisha greedy fashion, offered the bracelets to her young followers for a hefty $25 (the price jacked up 5 times). Here is a video.

Being Gay IS A Choice [Trisha Paytas' Ignorance of LGBT Community]

In 2014, Trisha uploaded a video spewing homophobic nonsense, claiming bisexuality does not exist (Poor Shane Dawson...), that we're "all a little gay," comparing gay marriage to animal marriage e.g. "marry a horse," and that people choose to be gay, e.g. "your sin of choice." Due to backlash, the video was removed one day later and ever since, in podcasts, she has claimed it's a "trolling" video to get coin.

On October 7th 2019, Trisha Paytas uploads a video titled, I AM TRANSGENDER (FEMALE TO MALE). Due to massive backlash from her audience, LGBT community and even popular transYouTubers, she eventually removed it from YouTube a month later.

On 27th October 2019, Trisha Paytas - H3 Podcast #152 is uploaded. She conflates being a drag queen with being transgender. When asked to describe what makes her male, she claims she has a "male energy" and it's "how she feels inside." She asserts you "can be a gay man and a lesbian." When Ethan jokes, "Hila and me are lesbians, we're gay for each other," Trisha gasps and says, "You can't do that!" Even though that is technically what she's doing, claiming she is a gay transgender man while looking like a heterosexual woman who has monetised her female sexuality for clicks, views and profit since 2007. Ethan asked if the trans video was monteised since there were midroll ads on the video, T

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Who wins in a 7-game series with players in their primes?

1999 Rockets

Cuttino Mobley/Brent Price

Michael Dickerson/Sam Mack

Scottie Pippen/Eddie Johnson

Charles Barkley/Antoine Carr

Hakeem Olajuwon/Stanley Roberts

2009 Suns

Steve Nash/Goran Dragic

Jason Richardson/Leandro Barbosa

Grant Hill/Matt Barnes

Amare Stoudemire/Stromile Swift

Shaquille O'Neal/Robin Lopez

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

When things go badly, it's human instinct to find someone to blame.

Two seasons ago, the L.A. Clippers choked away a 3-1 lead against the Denver Nuggets. The franchise didn't vilify its stars, and instead found a scapegoat in coach Doc Rivers. Deserved or not (mostly deserved), he became the sacrificial lamb.

One season later, Doc Rivers wasn't about to let that happen again. When his new team wilted against Atlanta, he called out “not it!” and pointed a finger to Ben Simmons. Most likely, Simmons will be moved soon.

With that in mind, we're going to look ahead at potential scapegoats for this upcoming season. We're going to list the most likely scapegoat for each of the projected top teams only. After all, if you're going to disappoint, you need to have fairly high expectations going in. We’ll rank the teams based on preseason over/unders, although for most that disappointment will need to come in the playoffs.

BROOKLYN NETS, over/under: 55.5

It's title or bust in Brooklyn, which usually would put a coach like Steve Nash on the hot seat. But with all due respect, I don't think the Nets actually expect Coach Nash to do much "coaching." This super team is a concoction spearheaded by Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving, and it'll be on them to deliver.

Among the two, Irving is obviously on thinner ice. He's often injured -- often distracting. His stance on COVID isn't a one-off; it's another indication that Irving may not have his head in the game to the degree that other superstars do. He's already won a title (and not gotten a huge amount of credit for it), so not much would change here as he's become the third banana in Brooklyn. He may have grander plans in mind than basketball -- traveling the non-globe and spreading the Gospel of Gobbledygook.

If Irving actually misses home games, the team may move on sooner than later. But it wouldn't necessarily take that major step. If Irving misses boatloads of games with injury or mental vacation time, then Durant and company may get frustrated enough to wash their hands clean and trade him for a star with more grit this next offseason. While Irving could threaten to retire if that's the case, he'd be sacrificing a huge amount of money in the process. He's 29 years old, and could easily have another $100M in career earnings ahead of him.

MILWAUKEE BUCKS, over/under: 54.5

The Milwaukee Bucks are riding the good vibes of their title run -- and that honeymoon should last a while. Even i

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Names are from babies born between 2015-2021

** Note, there are no Q names listed in this nursery **

++ Randy and Rainna are twins ++

A Names

B & C Names

D & E Names

F, G, H, I Names

J & K Names

L & M Names

Boys

• Nash
• Nathan
• Nathanial
• Neil
• Newt
• Niko
• Noah (x6)
• Nolan (x4)
• Odin (x2)
• Oliver (x3)
• Oscar
• Owen
• Parker (x2)
• Paxton
• Peter
• Peyton (x2)
• Pierce
• Preston (x2)
• Raiden
• Randy
• Rayce
• Rayson
• Reece (x2)
• Remington
• Rhett
• Rhyker
• Ricky
• Riley
• Riot
• Rival
• Robert
• Roberto
• Romen
• Ronald
• Rossi
• Rowan
• Roy
• Ruger
• Ryder
• Ryker
• Rylan
• Ryver

Girls

• Naomi (x3)
• Natalie (x3)
• Natoshia
• Nila
• Niyah
• Nora
• Nova (x4)
• Nyla
• Oakland
• Oakley
• Oaklyn
• Octavia
• Olivia (x3)
• Ophelia
• Paige
• Paisley (x5)
• Paityn (x2)
• Paloma
• Parker
• Patience
• Paulina
• Payge
• Peyton (x3)
• Phoebe
• Piercely
• Presley
• Primlea
• Rachelle
• RaeLee
• Raelyn
• Raelynn
• Rainna
• Raylan
• Raylyn
• Reagan (x2)
• Reese
• Regan
• Remi
• Remy
• Rhea
• Rhiya
• Rhylee
• Riley
• Ripley
• Robin
• Ronni
• Rosa
• Rosalyn
• Rosalynn
• Roselina
• Ruby
• Ruth
• Ruthie
• Ryanne
• Rylie
• Rynnlee

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Put it on my bill