Pud Galvin Puns

He only threw 656.1 IP last year and got taken out of 4 of this starts, so there is definitely some room for improvement. If he recovers from the bout of diphtheria that he had last winter, I think he can do it.

He consumed the elixir of Brown-Sequard which was essentially a testosterone concoction made from monkeys. He played in the same two-pitcher rotation time period as Cy Young and finished his career with the following statline from 1875 til 1892:

6003.1 IP, 2.85 ERA, 705 games and 688 starts with 365 wins and 310 losses.Also had 9.6 H/9, 2.7 S/9, 1.1 BB/9 with a WHIP of 1.13

https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5314753

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pud_Galvin

#Batters (non-pitcher, non-pinch-runner) that played less than 162 games for a franchise, and are in the HOF, sorted by franchise they played for:

Murry Dickson doesn't sound like the name of a major leaguer. Murry Dickson could be the name of a major leaguer's agent, maybe. Or your neighbor who passive-aggressively offers to let you borrow his lawn mower because your grass is looking a little long there, fella.

But Murry Monroe Dickson was quite a character, with a Forrest Gump-like ability to wander in and out of history, with fate bringing him into stories involving a 1930s bank robber dubbed "The Tri-State Terror" as well as General George S. Patton. Among his many managers were Hall of Famers Billy Southworth and Casey Stengel, and Branch Rickey was his general manager with two of his five teams. When he was a rookie, he was teammates with Lyn Lary, who had previously played with Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig on the Yankees; when he retired, he was teammates with Ralph Terry, who would later play with Tom Seaver and Nolan Ryan on the Mets.

He played in four World Series, though he only pitched in three, and was an All-Star in a season in which he went 10-19. He set a major league record for most consecutive years leading the league in losses (three), a feat not even accomplished by Losing Pitcher Mulcahy. A few years later Pedro Ramos of the Washington Senators would lead the American League in losses for four straight years, but Dickson would retain the National League record for 26 years until Phil Niekro did it from 1977 to 1980.

Yet it's unfair to say Dickson was a bad pitcher. According to research by Steve Lombardi, Dickson had 17 games in his career where he threw 9 or more innings, allowed three earned runs or less, yet took the loss. (The all-time leader is Hall of Famer Ted Lyons, with 34 such games!) In a study by Bill Deane, Dickson was the seventh-most "unlucky pitcher" from 1876 to 2006 based on how many runs he gave up vs. how many runs his teams scored for him.

While Murry's career record was 172-181, he posted a respectable 109 ERA+ in 3,052.1 innings -- tying him with Hall of Famer Jesse Haines and Red Ruffing for 382nd place on the all-time list, alongside Clay Buchholz, Doug Fister, Mark Gubicza, Dan Haren, a

ANIMALS

Dogs and Cats

• 3-Dog (Willie Davis) AKA Comet
• Action Dog (Dave Cash)
• Big Cat (Johnny Mize) HOF
• Big Puma (Lance Berkman)
• The Cat (Harry Brecheen)
• Bird Dog (Corey Knebel)
• Bulldog (Orel Hershiser, Jim Bouton)
• Crime Dog (Fred McGriff)
• Doggie (Tony Perez) AKA Big Dog
• El Gatito (Félix Millán)
• El Gato (Andres Galarraga)
• Kitty (William Bransfield)
• Mad Dog (Greg Maddux) HOF
• Mr. Tiger (Al Kaline) HOF
• O-Dog (Orlando Hudson)
• One Dog (Lance Johnson)
• Red Dog (Mike Redmond)
• Rem Dawg (Jerry Remy)
• Tony the Tiger (Tony Phillips)
• Wonder Dog (Rex Hudler)

Bears and Horses

• Bear (Kyle Barraclough)
• The Big Bear (Marcell Ozuna, Mike Garcia)
• Big Donkey (Adam Dunn)
• El Caballo (Carlos Lee)
• El Caballo Loco (Angel Pagan)
• El Oso Blanco (Evan Gattis)
• Harry the Horse Anderson
• Ice Horse (Michael Chavis)
• Iron Horse (Lou Gehrig) HOF AKA Biscuit Pants
• Iron Pony (Sandy Alomar, Sr)
• Mule (Milt Watson)
• Panda (Pablo Sandoval)
• The Polar Bear (Pete Alonso)
• Pony (Jimmy Ryan)
• Sugar Bear (Larvell Blanks)
• Wild Horse (Yasiel Puig)
• Wild Horse of the Osage (Pepper Martin)

Other Land Animals

• Ape (Kevin Appier)
• The Bison (Matt Kemp)
• Baby Bull (Orlando Cepeda) HOF
• Baby Giraffe (Brandon Belt)
• Big Groundhog (Orval Overall)
• The Buffalo (Wilson Ramos)
• The Bull (Greg Luzinski)
• Coyote (Don Wert)
• Deer Foot (Harry Bay)
• El Toro (Fernando Valenzuela, Pedro Alvarez)
• Happy Rabbit (Stan Rojek)
• Jackrabbit (Jack Gilbert)
• Kangaroo (Davy Jones)
• Monkey (Pete Hotaling)
• Moose (Mike Mussina) HOF
• Mouse (Ed Lyons)
• The Old Fox (Clark Griffith) HOF
• Pig (Frank House)
• Porky (Hal Reniff)
• Rabbit Maranville HOF
• The Rat (Gary Gaetti)
• Reindeer (Rick Auerbach)
• Reindeer Bill (Bill Killefer)
• Rhino (Ryan Klesko)
• Squirrel (Jeff McNeil) AKA Flying Squirrel
• The Wild Elk of the Wasatch (Ed Heusser)
• Wonder Hamster (Matt Stairs)

Birds

• Arkansas Hummingbird (Lon Warneke)
• Bald Eagle (Frank Isbell)
• The Bird (Mark Fidrych)
• Chicken (Craig Counsell) AKA The Chicken Man
• The Condor (Chris Sale, Michael Saunders)
• The Crow (Frankie Crosetti)
• Cuckoo (Charlie Jamieson)
• Ducky (Joe Medwick) HOF
• The Florida Flamingo (Red Causey)
• Goose (Rich) Gossage HOF
• The Gray Eagle (Tris Speaker) HOF
• The Grey Flamingo (Tom Brennan)
• Hawk (Andre Dawson) HOF
• Muddy Chicken (Dustin Pedroia)
• Parakeet (Tito Fuentes)
• Penguin (Ron Cey)
• Road Runner

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

Mentos

(I will see myself out)

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

He’s the new temp.

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Amy

But let me give it a shot.

Put it on my bill