Policeman: Can you describe the shooter? Waiter: 6 feet, white male, grey shirt and a skirt made of parsley. P: Parsley? W: Yes. It was just a herb he wore.
They were able to place the casket in the grave after the third attempt.
A punch line.
Oinkers Away!
They help you express yourself.
One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of its clause!
There is a Santa clause.
Paralyze (pair of lies)
A little bit of Background information: When I was a young lad, my father was a professional glass cleaner. Not just for a job, cleaning Glass was this man's passion! He always wanted me to take over for him when I grew up, but I always thought it would be a pain, it was a silly job, really. However, I knew that my father would be shattered if I didn't put an honest effort into the cleaning business. The first time I perfectly cleaned a mirror, I realized I could really see myself doing this! My father was wiping away tears of pride when I began to become as passionate as he was.
Anyways, fast forward to a couple months ago. I have taken over my father's cleaning company, and was working a job at a publishing agency. Now, due to the pandemic, this building had set up different entry points depending on the purpose of your visit, and each one was gated and stationed by an employee so you could have your temperature taken and go through a checklist to ensure you don't have any symptoms, etc.
After finishing the contract at this building, the owner was so impressed with my work that he said he would like to recommend me for a permanent job with a friend of his. At first, I was skeptical (I had taken over the family business, after all), but it was becoming difficult to find regular clients anymore, so I agreed. He gave me a single sheet from a notepad, and told me to write down something about myself that sets me apart from others in my line of work, and I should make it a very impactful statement, his friend was a very busy man and wouldn't look at more than notes like these. I wasn't sure what to write on the spot, so he told me to think about it, and return the note when I come back to leave the bill for my work.
So I came back a few days later, went through the gate to drop off my bill and my note about how I am much better than any other glass cleaner out there. Well, it turns out the friend of the publishing agency's owner was a hiring manager for a well-known computer company, and my note really caught his eye, and I was offered the job! Now I make more money every two weeks than I had with a month! At first, I though my father would be upset by me leaving the family business behind, but he told me "As long as you are happy where you are, with what you are doing, then you are succeeding in life. You are no longer a student of glass cleaning, you are my equal, and I am proud of you" I never realized how freeing it
... keep reading on reddit ➡So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian.
They're my quilty pleasure
I said, “Huron.”
...well, actually, the full statement was “you’re pretty annoying”, but I only focus on positive things.
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
He must have a shitty job.
So when they pull into port, the workers can Scandinavian.
Besides, you should be keeping that under wraps...
So when they return to port they can scan de navy in.......
So they can Scan da Navy in
I said, “I refuse to make blanket statements.”
I told her she should be careful making blanket statements like that.
Police issued a statement saying they had 'nothing to go on'
In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy.. He presented with vomit on his sweater already.. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"
He replied, "They had avocados."
but believe you are a Display Port
Perhaps you are a "transport"?
The super color fragile lipstick gives me halitosis.
I said, "It's a financial institution licensed to receive deposits and make loans."
Attire.
Covers are good sheet.
So when they pull up to port, they can Scandanavian
AV in.
report it
Why?
Because of pier pressure.
So when they get back to port they can Scandinavian!
So when they get back to port, they can Scandinavian
