Pilot Flying J Puns

The pilot responds, "That's not going to fly."

Our pilot must have been flying.

Me and my Father were discussing career options for me, and I announced my intention to be a pilot

He said 'that's not gonna fly in this house, son'

Pilot: so why did you want to become a pilot?

CoPilot: to conquer my greatest fear.

Pilot: flying?

CoPilot: dying alone.

She saw an ad for a Honda Pilot, but it was sold when she called.

Me: So the Pilots are flying off the lot?

My dad is a recreational pilot. His airplane takes up a lot of his free time (fixing, tinkering, sometimes even flying). When he first got it he wanted to name it "The Family" so that when his coworkers asked about his weekend they would think he was a real family man when he "spent the whole weekend with The Family".

Sometimes I go flying with my dad who's a pilot. The other day we're approaching our home airport and dad radios the tower to get the weather. "Winds calm, barometer is 30.12 and rising." Without hesitation he quips "Sounds like we're heading into a high pressure situation, eh son?"

I'm driving with my dad and I notice a plane that took off and keep flying really low. Me: "I wonder why he is flying so low" Dad: "Don't those things usually have two pilots?

Dad: did you know I pilot?

Me: ...dad, you don't fly.

Dad: no, your brother chops the wood and I pile it. (Pilot)

We fly out for the honeymoon tomorrow and she asked if the airline was the one we pick our seats. I told her that it was but you can't pick the pilot's seat. She responded with "well maybe if he had a wedgie you could pick it."

She is definitely a keeper.