Phil Hellmuth is an enigma. Purely based on results it is now clear that he is the best tournament player in poker history. He was dominant in the 80s. He was dominant in the 90s. He was dominant in the 00s. He was dominant in the 10s. He is dominant in the 20s. But how? After all when you watch him it is clear that he does not play optimally, and this was as true twenty years ago as it is today. So why does he keep winning?
Well you need to remember that we usually only see Phil at the final table of an event, and what most people don't understand is that the hard part of a tournament isn't the final table - which is essentially gambling - but the dozens of tables leading up to the final table. To consistently make it through these large fields (he made 14 final tables alone at this year's WSOP) should be statistically impossible. Eventually you start to lose your flips!
But that's Phil's secret. You see, Phil doesn't lose flips because he doesn't put his money in bad. Or at all. He would rather give up a positive -EV spot if it risks his stack. And so he folds and folds and folds and folds until, and if you've seen him in person you'll notice this, a little buzzer goes off in his head. The headphones come off, his eyes start darting back and forth, and he begins mumbling to himself and waving his hands. It's zoom zoom time! Out of seemingly nowhere he will start spewtarding and bluffing like there's no tomorrow. It's either or with Phil. Either he's folding or spewtarding and there's no in-between.
The reason for this is simple. Phil is fundamentally an athlete who conceives of himself as playing an endurance sport. His goal is to outlast his competition, and so he will pass and pass and pass for eight hours straight while your typical internet addled millennial will get bored after an hour and shove his 77 like a dumbass. Phil doesn't do that...until he senses weakness. Until he knows his bluffs will go through not at a 30% rate or whatever GTO nerds consider optimal but at a 100% frequency. Then he pulls the trigger with no remorse.
Phil is a predator. Standing at 6'11 and 280 lbs of solid muscle he is an intimidating presence, and when he sees prey he pounces. This is why Phil is always yelling and stomping around and berating the players and the dealer. It is strategic intimidation, and it works wonderfully. Like I said you've never really seen him in prime form because only the final tables are televised, but when you come to the
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...then you - yes you, bud - are the problem with poker.
99.99999% of the fun in watching this stupid game is seeing egotistical idiots get mad at dumb shit. You guys are total bores, probably the same people who would get upset at Tony G back in the day.
Guy is a fucking legend. Seriously how do you stay relevant this long? Him and Seidel are fucking mutants.
In upsetting news for local poker pros, scientists have found that a majority of EV obtained in poker is now derived from selling Phil Hellmuth overpriced snacks at the WSOP, with only a pittance to be made from abusing the fish at live 1-2. Enterprising players have reported selling Phil a cheeseburger for 230$, a bag of trail mix for 150$, and half a subway sandwich for 150$. Interviewers contacted Greg, the seller of the half-sandwhich, who reported both feeling loosey and goosey and had to be tested for covid as a result.
Local pro AnyPairIsTheNuts agreed. "Poker became unbeatable last Thursday due to increasing rake and player skill levels. Everyone is solid now.". He now spends most of his time following Phil with a backpack of half-eaten sandwiches. "Although Phil hasn't actually bought anything from me yet, I've already won 200 Skalansky dollars from potentially selling him sandwiches in the past two weeks.". Truly an inspiration.
We tried to reach out to Hellmuth for comment, but he gave the interviewer 3 black chips and tried to eat the microphone.
