Do your worst!
It really does, I swear!
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
They’re on standbi
Buenosdillas
Pilot on me!!
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
Repost***** I am a 38yr old single mother of four wonderful children. I found Santa's little helpers while searching online and wondering just what I was going to do this year for Christmas. Something here was calling out to me so I spent the time to register and learn how to use this Reddit app since I never have before today.
I would love to be able to give my children a few new things under the tree this year. I have never gone overboard for Christmas but not being able to buy the kids one thing this year is tearing me apart on the inside. Especially considering I already feel like less of a mom being sick (crohns disease copd and some unknown illness we r still trying to figure out that requires me to have blood transfusions every few months to be able to function) and not able to play and run around like I used to.
Morgan is a 16 year old eleventh grader who helps her mom in anyway she can. She tries very hard at school and is getting excellent grades. Morgan also works a part time job to help pay for things she wants like clothes and make up.
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/6C5IUE4AVJ0S?ref_=wl_share
Meghan is a 14 year old 9th grader who excels in school except her Spanish class lol. She is very shy but when it comes to family she is always there to make u smile and brighten up your day. She loves vampire diaries and Riverdale.
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3JCX85VN792J2?ref_=wl_share
Zhamiyah is a 7 year old second grader girly girl. She is one of the most caring and empathetic little girls I've ever come across. Zhamiyah is also a girl scout and spends most of her time doodling or creating something . She is also one of my strongest children. Zhamiyah goes to physical therapy twice a week and wears foot orthotics to help correct foot and ankle deformities. She struggles everyday just to walk but never gives up.
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/17LSNU3OZE86T?ref_=wl_share
Malik is a 2 year old Energizer bunny. He is full of craziness messes and booger hugs😂 Malik loves dinosaurs and annoying his older sisters. He may give me a run for my money everyday and keep me on my toes but we wouldn't trade this little monster for anything. He likes anything with wheels or has to do with dinosaurs.
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/2VOSGEAPT3KDO?ref_=wl_share
I wanted to say even if you can not help my little elves thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading this far and taking the time out of your day to bring a lit
... keep reading on reddit ➡
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
[Removed]
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Bob
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
“BOOM”?!
"That's what they're fighting about."
Because his Visa didn’t work.
Because the audience only responds in a low ha
