"Theraflu."
Twelve individuals have been attacked in the last 48 hours.
The Police have announced that the attacker could be following some kind of pattern
People are dying to get in
He still has the right to remain silent.
I might go if I've got nothing on.
However the police still don't have any concrete evidence against him.
It’s nice to see a politician make good on a concrete policy proposal.
Probably because they're still alive
She said, "I see Indian people all the time." I replied "You must have a Sikh Sense."
That's why the seats are so low or he's really high, otherwise he's shit. Just a little sideburn there, but really he's great, a do or dye stand-up guy.
I asked my dad "When are the tree fellers coming?"
He replied "Monday, but I'm not sure if it'll be tree fellers, there might be four."
He said it with a stone-cold serious tone, whilst poking around on his ipad. The best sort of delivery for that sort of joke.
Brother: Hey, can I take a shower?
Dad: As long as you put it back when you're done with it.
She drew the layout, and each side had four courts. She said, "We're going to have the courts like, this: a court here, a court here-" Then my dad says, "So, if you have four quarts, will you have a gallon?"
My dad and I were the only ones laughing, and my mom says, "Don't laugh at his joke, swingingsalmon."
After the fireworks, we were gathering up our things to leave. She asked if her new turtle was OK. I picked up its little carrier, peered inside, and said, "It looks a little shell-shocked."
Wife: "Peter Dinklage was in the Asheville Whole Foods today."
Me: "Wow, he's rarely seen in public!"
Wife: "Oh?"
Me: "Yeah, he's easily overlooked."
"Dad, there's a guy at the door collecting for the new pool" Dad: "Just give him a glass of water"
Why did the farmer go fishing?
Oh, just for the halibut.
They always deliver
Me: "Hey dad is the old courthouse made of granite?"
Dad: "I dont know, but we definitely take it for granite"
Yuk yuk yuk
