A guy on my street holds the world record for most concussions

He only lives a stone's throw away

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πŸ‘€︎ u/st_jimmy_02
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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What happens when someone is put on hold for a long period of time?

They gain wait.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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I used to hold myself on a pedestal

Now I'm banned from the museum

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scamperillium
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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A guy walks into his doctors office saying, β€œHelp me, doctor, I’m shrinking.” β€œHold on,” says the doctor,

β€œBe a little patient.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
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What do you call a man who falls off a rocky ledge but holds on long enough to

Cliff Hanger... Or Mr Hanger if your being formal.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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not only is it a pun based on the song "Can't Hold Us" by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, it's also a good reminder on how to pronounce the word coelacanth (seeΒ·luhΒ·kanth)!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aloees
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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Hold on son, looks like a s**t storm gfycat.com/harmlessfeline…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sonujohny
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
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Hold on to safety but...
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2018
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hold on i have something in my shoe

i think it’s a foot

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πŸ‘€︎ u/__ch4nc3__
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
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Mommy, daddy and little lion are having a picnic. As soon as they've taken seat on their blanket, little lion wants to start eating. "Hold on," says daddy lion.

"We first need to prey."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vartha
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
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Whenever the server asks my Grandpa how he wants his steak done, he holds his fork and knife up and says "just walk the cow on by!"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AverageHeathen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
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Friend: hold on a minute

Your response: what should I hold onto?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlipBoyLarry
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
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Son, hold on tight to your beer ...

... it is very hoppy

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rawSingularity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
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Dad: Hold on son, I need to tie my shoes

Son: Why is it taking so long?

Dad: This is no small feat!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StarsDownLow
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2018
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what do you call it when you put a mattress on hold?

lay-away

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alycat0602
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2016
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I don't know why the NFL tries to hold on to their macho, manly appearance.

They have bye weeks.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2017
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Hold on let me get my glasses imgur.com/9g7XFki
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iampikachu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2013
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When you call customer service and you're put on hold...

CS: "Hi, we're sorry about your wait, how may we assist you today?"

Dadjoke: "Don't be sorry, I've started on a diet."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rule_2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2013
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Hold on, I can't hear you.

Let me get my glasses.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tymk23
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2013
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Hold on, let me say one thing

one thing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterKeto
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2015
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I spent 40 minutes on hold to my urologist.

She's taking the piss.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RafflesEsq
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2014
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