My mother asked me to buy her some olives. So I came home, held the jar aloft, and said to the room: "ya know how I feel about olive you?"

"...Olive you!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StevenScho
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2022
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Classic Dad Joke at Dinner

We went out to eat at Olive Garden and there was a large mirror on the wall next to our table.

My dad immediately says "That family in the other room looks an awful lot like us..."

What a dad.

πŸ‘︎ 101
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2014
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Girlfriend didn't appreciate this one...

We're at her dad's birthday, and I was sitting in the living room with her, her dad, and two of his three brothers. We had just started eating (pizza and pasta) when my girlfriend's third uncle arrives. I had two slices on my plate, one pepperoni, and one garbage (olives, onions, meat, basically everything on it). Uncle #3 comes in, greets everyone, and says "How's the pizza tasting?" to which I replied

..."it's garbage."

I think she wants to be single but they all appreciated it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BearsChief
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2015
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