Wife: I know you don’t like olives, but there are so many in this salad. I can’t get them out.

Me: Olive

👍︎ 5
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📅︎ Aug 08 2020
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Whenever salad or olives were at the dinner table

Asking for the olives: Olive some of those.

Asking for some salad: Let us have lettuce!

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👤︎ u/Plenoge
📅︎ Aug 14 2013
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I was walking past my fridge last night and thought I heard two onions singing a Bee Gees song

When I opened the door it turns out it was just chives talkin'

👍︎ 49
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📅︎ Nov 16 2022
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Dadjoked my fiancée at dinner tonight

I got the all you can eat salad bar and got her some olives.

When I went back, I got her some additional olives.

She looked at them and said "are you trying to olive me to death?"

I replied "yes because olive you very much."

👍︎ 188
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📅︎ Dec 21 2014
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The 'Complimentary' Salad

On mothers day last year we went out to eat at Olive Garden. When the salad arrived he picks it up points it towards my mother and says in the most announcer-like voice he can muster, "You look great tonight, Honey!" when asked what he was doing he responded, "Well it's a 'complimentary' salad!". One of my favorite jokes to this day.

👍︎ 13
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👤︎ u/D00DANS
📅︎ May 14 2018
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Why did the greek salad get angry?

It got feta up over olive the other salads picking on it.

👍︎ 4
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📅︎ Mar 06 2019
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Brainstorming food/movie theme nights. It es-kale-lated quickly. Only thing in my Bumble profile now.

When Harry Met Salad

What About Ke-Bob

Cumin to America

Weekend at Bearneaise II

Steakin I, II, & III

A Few Good Salmon

You’ve Got Kale

Shawshank Re-Dim Sum

Romancing the Scone

An Éclair to Remember

Roman Hollandaise

Glazed and Confused

Bill & Ted’s Eggcellent Adventure

The Evil Bread

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Shrimp

Fondue the Right Thing

Ribeyes Wide Shut

Mignons

Plante of the Grapes

Spider Manchu

Sushis All That

A Wok to Remember

Marsala-la Land

Apocalypse Cow

Die Chard

Die Chard with a Vinaigrette

Hogan’s Gyros

The Sand Latkes

A League of their Macaroni

Revenge of the Curds

Rush S’More

Braising Arizona

Demolition Ham

10 Things I hate About Ewe

Saladin

Oliver and Com-penne

Dirty Rotten Chanterelles

Sex and the Satay

The Truth About Cats & Hotdogs

Morella Enchanted

Provolone Together

Clear and Pheasant Danger

The Big Chili

Lémon: The Professional

Ava-Tartare

Hocous Pocous

High Fi-Deli Meat

Madagascargot

The Fifth Elementos

Muensters Inc.

There’s Something About Rosemary

I Am Ham

Quiche Lorraine Man

Barley & Me

Lentil Giants

Peggy Soufflé Got Married

Face Stroganoff

Con Gruyére

Fast Times at Porridgemont High

Bok Choys in the Hood

Papillonion

Requinoa for a Dream

Serial Cardamom

👍︎ 4
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👤︎ u/kat_fogg
📅︎ Jan 15 2019
🚨︎ report

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