No Reply (song) Puns

He asks “Hey, you got any grapes?” The bartender replies “No we don’t, this is a bar sir.” The duck goes home. He comes back the next day and asks “Hey, you got any grapes?” The bartender yells at him and says “No we don’t, and if you ask me again, I’m gonna nail your feet to the floor!” The duck goes home and comes back the next day. He asks “Hey...you got any nails?” “No, we don’t have any nails.” ... “You got any grapes?”

This is in honor of my dad, who says this to me all the time. He doesn’t even know what the duck song is.

The man replies, "No, but I've got a sting album."

Jackson Browne's "Loadout/Stay" was on the radio.

My wife said, "Did he do this song when you saw him in concert?" I replied, "No, actually he didn't do any encore at all." She said, "If I went to a concert and they didn't do an encore, I'd leave."

She immediately started elbowing me in my ribs to make sure I got it. I laughed about it the whole drive home. I'm so proud of her.

I'm constantly dadding my fiancé with bad dad jokes. Recently she's been upping her game.

Driving through the city, the song "With or Without You" comes on the radio.

It starts kind of slow, so I ask "Is this U2?"

Fiancé replies "No."

The song picked up a bit and I quickly realized that it was in fact U2.

Me: "Yeah it is, see?!?"

Fiancé: "I don't sing this song!"

Me: groan

This stupid song from the movie Grease comes on the radio and my wife asked, "Do you know what part of the movie they sing this song in?". I said , " The worst part?" She said," No the end." And my son replied, "So the best?"

So this was in the summer of 2011 and at the time this song was a big hit: Medina - You and I. The important part here is the chorus, starting at 0:44.

So in the middle of the song I ask my friend "Do you know what kind of car this singer drives?"
"No idea", she said. To which I replied "A hyu-n-dai."

She almost threw me out of the car.

I was ordering pressure gauges and sent all the specifications to my vendor. Three inch face, 0-100psi, 1/4" npt thread......what do you have in stock? He replied back with no 1/4". So I replied, yeah that is my favorite Zeppelin song, what about the gauge.

We have the old-rock radio station playing in our office and I was mockingly humming along to the tunes of one of the songs.

Then my supervisor says, "Oh I know you are not making fun of Def Leppard."

"It's not like they would be able to hear me if I was." I replied.

No one laughed, but the manager walked out of his office to say, "Come on guys, you have to admit that one was good."