So I’m at dinner with the fam, telling the joke about what the kid with no arms got for Christmas (we still don’t know because he hasn’t opened them yet)...I set it up...a friend of mine at work has a kid...no arms...and deliver the punchline...
And my 10 year old son, completely deadpan, tells me
‘Dad, I knew that story wasn’t real because you don’t have any friends’
👻👻💀💀☠️☠️ It took me a solid 5 minutes to stop laughing.
I have achieved Dad level 10 at raising my kids
I became a father today, but no dad jokes are coming to me. I’m pretty bummed.
Luckily the neighbor hit me with a few good jokes as we got home! Cheered me right up!
If you tell dad jokes but have no kids...
No joke includes a punchline about the maginot line
I guess it's easier to go around it
Edit: typo
My freind: no body cares about car rental company jokes
My friend has no arms and loves to make jokes about it. They're never any good though.
He doesn't have a funny bone in his body.
I was checking out at the grocery store today and the bagger was holding my stuff over the shopping cart and asked: “sir, would you like to go out with the cart?”. To which I replied “oh, no thanks I’m actually married”. My poor son looked mortified. Dad joke status ACHIEVED.
My dad's favorite joke- what do you call a cow with no legs?
No one ever laughs at my sausage jokes.
probably because they're the wurst
I made up a joke about the sound a tap makes when you turn it on full blast, but no one got it.
I finally figured out why almost no one in my family finds my cheesy jokes and puns good.
They are all laughtose intolerant.
Another no-arms, no-legs joke to add to the database...
French woman with Covid?
La Wheez.
No one laughs at my “bring an extra pair of pants when you go golfing” joke.
I guess “hole-in-one” jokes are sub-par.
I told my friends and family a coronavirus joke at the start of quarantine, and no one laughed.
Why are there no knock knock jokes about the Fourth of July?
I made a joke about wine in my office, no one laughed
Dad: Did you hear the joke about farmer brown? Me: No
Dad: Well maybe I’ll tell you someday
This, no joke, might be the best pun I’ve ever read
I was going to make a joke about sodium but then I thought.....Na, no one will get it
I made a bad joke about an axe. No one laughed.
This is no time for jokes, Jinping.
I make a lot of dad jokes for someone who has no kids.
You could call this a faux pas. Shoots finger guns
guess its a pun joke (i have no other interesting title sory)
There is no whey I will do a protein joke.
Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?
....because freedom rings.
Edit: wow this is getting decent attention, Happy Brexit 1776 everyone!
Edit 2: top 50 all time on r/dadjokes and I'm not even a dad yet!
No dad jokes are allowed in my city
They are a PUNishable offence!
I made a cheesey joke and no one though it was funny.
They must have been laughtose intolerant.
No joke I just miss my dad. Happy fathers day in heaven dad dad daddy-o
I make apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.
No matter how corny you believe your eyeball jokes are...
Mine will always be cornea
People dying from laughter are why the quest for immortality is no joke.
Someone gifted me a book of dad jokes. "No thanks," I said. "I already Reddit."
Awful dad joke no one will get this
Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees?
Because they're so good at it.
Whoever invented knock-knock jokes should be given a no-bell prize
Do you know why there are no knock knock jokes about America?
Because freedome rings.
Yes I am aware I am a day lot. Sorry lovelies!
A Female Child (Me)Is In No Way A Dad. But I Want To Dad Joke My Dad.
I've got this-
"I can jump higher than tallest tree. Want to know how?"
"How?"
"Trees can't jump."
Did you hear the joke about the letter with no stamp?
My friend tried stand-up comedy and making jokes about eyeballs and their fluids. No one would laugh.
I can't blame them; it was vitreous humour.
The person who invented knock knock jokes deserves a no-bell prize
Cocaine is no joke I'm at the end of the line on this one
What do you call a person who makes dad jokes but has no kids?
This joke has no punchline, here's why
I made a bad joke about an axe. No one laughed.
People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow
I tell dad jokes but I have no kids. I’m a faux pa!
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