A pet store in New Mexico has seabirds in the window for sale; I bought the one on the right, but...

...I knew I shoulda taken that left tern at Albuquerque!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FunMathematician1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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[OC] How do they open cans of tuna in New Mexico?

With an albacore-key.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ir8prim8
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
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Did you hear about the new tv show in Mexico based off Survivor?

It’s called β€œ There can only be Juan”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/emn100
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2018
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Kansas, Colorado, New Mexico, and Texas are all about to Outlaw Interstate Homelessness

These four states are all against the Oklahoma panhandle.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
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Saw this sign while driving though New Mexico
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cre4mPuff26
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2013
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Cell reception in New Mexico.

I'm on vacation with my family out west (from Michigan) and were passing through New Mexico and I decide to pass the time on my phone but I look at my reception and I'm getting 0-2 bars so I say outloud "The cell reception is a little rocky out here!"

The groans/chuckles were amazing!

Edit: I'm not a dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zamibe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2015
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One time on a road trip from Texas to New Mexico

Just as we were crossing the border, I look over and see a train crossing the border at the same time as us.

Me: "So if a train is leaving Texas and entering New Mexico, what state is it in?"

Dad: "A state of confusion."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SteelyDanzig
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2013
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A quite long dad joke

So yall know this japanese volcano called fuji? Well, turns out that recently a new volcano appeared behind a mount fuji. Scientists say that this new volcano wandered under the earth crusts and that its place of origin was somewhere in mexico.

They called this new volcano a mount Refuji.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tarka_d0_sera
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
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History lesson

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day. The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TibtibThePrincess
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
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Grandpa dad joked me pretty good

Me: Whats new?

Grandpa: hmm let me see.. New York.. New Mexico.. New Orleans.. And umm.. New Jersey, yeah that's pretty new.

Me: Groan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Bridgeburner
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2015
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Every year Dad has to tell it to SOMEONE...

"It's a little known fact that the Titanic was not only transporting passengers, but was also carrying a large shipment of mayonnaise from Hellman's factories in England to consumers in Mexico. After the Titanic had made its trip to New York, the mayonnaise-- supposedly the largest single shipment of the stuff to ever be delivered to Mexico-- was going to be dropped off in the port city Vera Cruz. But unfortunately, when the ship sank, the Mexicans had lost all of the mayonnaise they had ordered. Extremely saddened by their loss and its economic consequences, the Mexicans declared a day that would go down in history as a holiday of remembrance and mourning. And every year on May the 5th they would celebrate...

"Sinko de Mayo."

hyuh hyuh hyuh hyuh hyuh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Icaz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2013
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Jimmy Carr
  • I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat

  • I went up to the airport information desk. I said "How many airports are there in the world?"

  • I hate fat girls who use the excuse "oh the camera adds 10lb" Well, stop eating cameras then.

  • At the check-in desk the girl said, ''Window seat or aisle?''

l said, ''Window seat or you'll what? Are you threatening me?''

She said, ''No, calm down. Window seat or aisle?''

l said, ''l'll have a seat.''

  • When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in Mexico last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.

  • A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said: "Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?" I said: "All right, but we won't get much done"

  • Did you know you're ten times more likely to get mugged in London than New York City? Thats because you don't live in New York City.

  • Swimming is good for you, especially if you're drowning. Not only do you get a cardiovascular workout but also you don't die.

  • British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ilikefruitydrinks
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2013
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Ordering food with my Dad

Me: "Hey dad why don't we order some food from that new Mexican place?"

Dad: ^In ^a ^serious, ^angry ^tone "Why, it'll take FOREVER!"

Me: ^Rather ^pissed ^off "What the hell do you mean, they're right down the street?"

Dad: "But you said it was in New Mexico!" ^Breaks ^out ^into ^laughter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JizzCreek
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2014
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I'm not a dad, but a Geography teacher.

I stole it from the Simpsons, but when I pull up a U.S.map, which is a lot I proceed to say: "new mexico? What was so wrong with the old one?"

And I do the "eh?! eh?!" pointing at old mexico and new mexico.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MonsterIt
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2014
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what is the capital of new mexico?

New Mexico

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jerdarnella
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England...

In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York . This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. The Mexican people loved Mayonnaise so much and this loss was so devastating that the Mexican people declared a National day of Mourning which happens every year on the day the shipment was supposed to arrive. This day of course is May 5th or more commonly known as Sinko de Mayo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lucy_dogg90210
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2017
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Mexicans love mayonnaise

In fact, back in 1912 the Titanic was loaded with 1000 cases of mayonnaise that were to be delivered to Mexico after the ship briefly stopped in New York. But as we all know, the ship hit an iceberg and sank. The Mexican people were so sad they created a special day to honor the event. Sinko de Mayo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jsushe01
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2017
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Every time I see my Grandpa

Me: Hey Grandpa, what's new?

Grandpa: New York, New Jersey, New Hampshire, New Mexico

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Keybladeviii
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2013
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This one's actually from my dad a few days ago

Most people didn’t know that back in 1912, Hellmann’s mayonnaise was manufactured in England.

In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.

This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico … but as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York . The ship hit an iceberg and sank.

The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning.

The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as …Sinko De Mayo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rIse_four_ten_ten
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2014
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