John Travolta tested negative for covid last night.

turns out it was just Saturday Night Fever!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iloveoldmonk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Double negatives.

Double negatives are a real no-no.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Risperdali
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I told Bill Withers, β€œAin’t No Sunshine is a double negative. That’s bad grammar.”

He said, β€œI know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know...”

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jewyouevenlift
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?

He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

πŸ‘︎ 158
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kattykat21
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Mate was feeling down so I told him there's a positive and negative to everything, you just gotta find it...

Poor fella can't even put batteries in right....

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BaccyBuegs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife is so negative

I remembered the car seat, the stroller, and the diaper bag, but all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mechanicfantic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Negative one times negative one

Felt like posting something positive today

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GISteve
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Deeply exhaling indicates a negative mood.

At least that's what the sighentists say.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I just saw a sea bird with a really negative attitude...

it was a PELI-CAN'T!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eat-rainbows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the appeal in being negative all the time?

This isn't a dad joke--I really want to no.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotoriousPVC
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the mathematician that hated negative numbers?

He’d stop at nothing to stay away from them

πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IamGrooot77
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
2019: stay away from negative people

2020:stay away from positive people

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πŸ‘€︎ u/popcorn_21
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
🚨︎ report
An English professor was telling his class that a double negative makes a positive, but there was no case in which a double positive creates a negative.

From the back of the room a Physics professor said, "Yeah, yeah."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
After getting a lot of negative reviews due to their rather poor string section, the LAPD Police Band decided to lose all the strings from their performances.

It was finally the long-awaited end of police violins.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OlaviVirtahepo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My test came back negative!

Too bad it was my IQ test.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisprater6986
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a sweet person with a negative outlook?

A pepsimist

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trevb75
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the oil say when it crashed it's price into negative value?

Oil be back!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/woyteck
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report
The teacher asked if anyone knew the square root of negative one...

So I shouted β€œI”

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MattAmpersand
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
🚨︎ report
The US Government is so broke they’re going to start minting coins with negative value.

I suspect they’ll use antimony.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jayrandomer
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a negative can of soup?

A soup can't

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bionic_Sandwich
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
🚨︎ report
If your fear is a negative one

Then the root of your fear is imaginary

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Instead of a swear jar I have a pessimism jar, every time I have a negative thought I put a coin in.

It’s currently half empty

πŸ‘︎ 116
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
So you think two positives don't make a negative?

eye roll yeah right!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kkirchoff
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I've developed a fear of negative numbers.

I'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

πŸ‘︎ 137
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cavtrpr017
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are Egyptians always so negative

Because they’re always in de nile

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ButterBard
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My Russian friend was telling me how he thinks people have a negative view of his Country.

I just thought β€˜Oh, Crimea river’.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Khronum
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a negative fog?

A pessimist

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lordwhichue
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
You wanna know my opinion on negative pressure?

It sucks!

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dexemplu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I hate negative numbers.

I will stop at nothing to avoid going into negative numbers.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Feels_Bad_Man19
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the mathematician that was afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/st_jimmy_02
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
John Travolta tested negative for coronavirus last night

Turns out it was just saturday night fever

(Taking advantage of a very narrow humour window!)

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TwoAdenine
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag.

Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the mathematician that was afraid of negative numbers?

He'd stop at nothing to avoid them.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/APunchToThePuss
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the mathematician who is afraid of negative numbers?

Hell stop at nothing to avoid them

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pakistani_pizza
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IveyRoney
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers ?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them

πŸ‘︎ 123
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag.

Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.

πŸ‘︎ 374
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ntuso
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the mathematician that was afraid of negative numbers?

He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cheeese9
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the professor afraid of negative numbers?

He stops at nothing to avoid them

πŸ‘︎ 104
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amphibatron
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

He will stop at nothing to avoid them.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Phantomboy8934
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the mathematician who is afraid of negative number?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fingerlickyourbum
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers?

He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the mathematician who is afraid of negative numbers?

He will stop at nothing to avoid them.

πŸ‘︎ 118
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RCR01
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
🚨︎ report

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