A dwarf who was a mystic escaped from jail.

The news said there was a small medium at large.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeJoey2004
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hatlesshobo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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I went up a mountain to speak to a mystic.

I asked him, "Can you tell me what it's all about, existence and all that?" His eyes looked up at me, from underneath his bushy brows. Solemnly he said, "That is is a tricky question, but you should go work in an aquarium. "I was confused. "An aquarium, why is that?" "Because then you will have porpoise in life."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Peteman22
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
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I found a way to appease a mystic

I found a happy medium

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nave_plays
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2018
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If you think men are better than women at giving fortunetellers backrubs, that’s massage a mystic.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeramyguitar
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2018
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I heard that there was a gnome mystic that broke out of prison.

He is a small medium at large.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ysabelknits
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2017
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What do you call a wizard that walks everywhere barefoot, has poor bone density, and bad breath ?

Super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/son-of-CRABS
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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What's a mystical car that can grant you three wishes?

A lambor-genie

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fitzz7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
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Gandhi is well known for his spiritual guidance, ascribe mystical powers to him...

We know he frequently fasted which made him somewhat frail and caused bad breath. We also know that he often went without shoes, making the souls of his feet very tough.

This made him a... Super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

(I’ll see myself out)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aisored224
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
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Gandhi

Gandhi, by the time he died, he was a very thin and elderly man who had walked almost everywhere he went barefoot causing thick pads on the bottom of his feet. He was also an extremely wise man who many considered a seer, and he ate ethnic Indian cuisine causing bad breath........Turns out he was a super fragile calloused mystic hexed by halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aw8nf8
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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So Gandhi fasted every day. His body got weaker and weaker. His feet grew incredibly tough from walking barefoot. He was deep into Hindu spirituality. Unfortunately, he had chronic bad breath.

I guess what I'm trying to tell you is that Gandhi was a super fragile, calloused mystic suffering from halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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So, Gandhi, right?

On average, this guy walked 11+ miles per day for 40 years. WITHOUT SHOES.

Dude fasted frequently, too, so he didn't get a lot of the nutrients that most people get on a daily basis and presumably had bad breath.

That being said, Gandhi was...

A SUPER CALLOUSED FRAGILE MYSTIC HEXED WITH HALITOSIS.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hey_HoofHearted
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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There was an old hermit who lived in a cave and walked a lot, but didn't have shoes. He also didn't have the greatest health and had really bad breath. They called him the:

Super Calloused Fragile Mystic Plagued with Halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/l8rry394
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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Which mystical creature has the softest fur?

The were-wool-f.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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Ghandi spent a lot of time walking through the desert, so his feet hurt and he was always thirsty and weak. It's also very hard to brush your teeth in the desert.

He was a super calloused fragile mystic with extra halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JEJoll
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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Did you hear that Julie Andrews will no longer be supporting cheap lipstick? It crumbles easily and makes her breath smell.

In a quote she said "The super color fragile lipstick gives me halitosis".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yougotyolks
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
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I saw a mystical beast with an interesting thing on it's head...

It was a unique horn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimmytodd
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2018
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Where do you put your mystical cards?

In the tarot bowl. A threatening bovine on one of these cards is the terror bull. The cards are made out of paper, so they're tearable. When you take the cards out of the bowl, the bowl is now tare-able. But truth be told, this long pun is terrible.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zizmax_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2013
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What do you call a fortune teller who only sees the worst in things?

A pessi-mystic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigpapasatan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
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Did you know that Gandhi never wore shoes? And due to his fasting he was very weak and had awful breath?

He was a super-fragile-calloused-mystic-hexed-by-halitosis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uchi_mata18
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
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I have a bit of bad news to share about Gandhi.

You know he fasted a lot, which made him skinny and frail. He also walked barefoot for most of his life. Spent a lot of time pondering life's imponderable mysteries. Oh, and they say he had bad breath. In other words, I guess Gandhi was a super-fragile calloused mystic suffering halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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My family visited a rude psychic, with degenerative bone disease, who insisted all of us had bad breath....

She was a super callous fragile mystic expecting halitosis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skarkroe
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2018
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I got fired for giving a back rub to a psychic.

They don't tolerate massage-a-mystic behavior.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Omny87
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2016
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John the Baptist

John the Baptist of Biblical fame used to walk through the desert in his bare feet. This left his feet tough, which is understandable- the hot sand and rough terrain would leave anyone's feet tough. He was known to receive signs from God and occasionally perform mystical feats. He subsisted on a diet of locusts and honey. Without access to dental hygiene at the time, this left him with somewhat bad breath. It also left him frail, as the diet wasn't varied and would have required an immense intake of food to be remotely sustained.

I guess that you could say that he was a super-callused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/edpeters1
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
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Gandhi walked the desert with no shoes, no food, and no tooth brush, my friend had the nerve to say.

I guess he was a super-calloused-fragile-mystic-fraught-with-halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SvmaHaus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2018
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Someone posted a joke on inauguration day and now I can't stop thinking of Trump puns, so I'll just dump them here.

He probably has quite the hair-care bill, but I'm sure he's willing toupee for it.
It seems that everyone on the internet is Russian to say good things about him.
After his inauguration speech, everyone gave him a big hand.
His favorite winter Olympic event is the LYUUUUGE!
The other half of his supporters can be described with ancient, mystical legends: the Deep Lore-ables.
Nobody will be able to use cheap cotton drapes or table cloths after his ban on muslins.
Since the start of the cold war, many U.S. presidents have pissed off the Russians. Trump is the first to be accused of pissing ON them.
I subscribed to his newsletter because I never turn down a free MAGA-zine subscription.
Melania got used to everyone crowded into Trump Tower during the campaign. Now that everyone's gone, she looks around and it's just a little Barron.
Joke that inspired me is here : https://www.reddit.com/r/puns/comments/5p4ebt/on_donald_trumps_inaguration/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fat_Hitchhiker
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2017
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Gandhi

I heard Gandhi often went shoeless, so his feet were very tough. He was a vegetarian, so he had a thin build. Lastly, he fasted often, which has a tendency to cause bad breath.

All of those factors combined made him a super calloused, fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flooberjibby
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2015
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I once tried to tickle a unicorn but missed...

It was a mystical experience.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DemoBunny
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2014
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Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ..

A super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis (edited, thanks kind friends for the correction!)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/banditk77
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an incredible set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. Plus, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Edit: I do now realize I misspelled Gandhi. I cannot edit the title, just know that I see it and am sorry.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SamuraiSAM5
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him, A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
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Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him, A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Edit: Wow! Didn't expect this big reaction! Thanks for the silver! Edit 2: And gold!? Thanks again! :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/auroraborora
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an incredible set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. Plus, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Edit: I do now realize I misspelled Gandhi. I cannot edit the title, just know that I see it and am sorry.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrunkRedditBot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
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Gandhi was amazingβ€”fasted every other day, walked barefoot, deep thinker...with bad breath.

it’s true. he was a super-fragile calloused mystic suffering halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
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Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him a...

Super calloused fragile mystic with extra halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2018
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Because Ghandi was barefoot all the time and had bad hygiene...

He was a super calloused fragile mystic plagued by halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2017
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