My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.

So I have an uncle, once removed.

πŸ‘︎ 16k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend told me, β€œYour wife and daughter look like twins!”

I said, β€œWell, they were separated at birth.”

πŸ‘︎ 24k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I've been having an affair with my wife's siamese twin.

We're doing it behind her front.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend Jay recently had twins, and want to name them after him.

So I suggested Kay and Elle.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My twins give me chills, dehydration, fatigue, fever, loss of appetite, and extreme diarrhea.

Their names are Sam and Ella.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anddditburns
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I failed my Calculus exam because I was seated between two identical twins.

It was hard to differentiate between them.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother just had twins so I invited him to join the group.

He is now a Pa Pa

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Greystone_86
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend just found out she will be giving birth to twins in 9 months!

For now, they're just cell mates.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/7_Pillars
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife told me that she was pregnant with twin girls.

I told her that I wanted to name the first one Kate. She asked what I wanted to name the second one. I answered Duplicate.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZappBrannigansLaw
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My twin sister always takes the stairs, but I prefer taking the elevator.

I guess.... we are raised differently.

πŸ‘︎ 356
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My sister had twins, a boy and a girl, and asked for help naming them.

She liked my suggestion of calling the girl Denise, but had second thoughts when I suggested calling the boy Danephew.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My twin preschool boys were playing with foam letters in the bathtub.

One happened to put the letter T into a toy stacking cup I was holding. I tried to give it to him but he didn't want it.

So I turned to my other son and said, "Hmm, guess it's not his cup of T".

Neither 3yo got it so I had to tell someone.

πŸ‘︎ 406
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1kings2214
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My kids were watching a show about identical twins re-united after being separated at birth, and in disbelief that they were wearing matching outfits when they met up.

I said, well, they do have the same genes.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zion2199
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I repetitively hit my identical twin.

So I asked him, "why are you hitting yourself?"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DuckOH33
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad was a conjoined twin.

We called his brother "My uncle on my father's side."

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
My twin brother called me from prison.

He said: "You know how we finish each other's sentences?"

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ash_Cuda
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend Jay had twin daughters, and decided to name them after him.

They are named Kay and Elle.

πŸ‘︎ 114
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My twin brother was being rude to our mother on the phone, so I pushed him out of the window...

Now I am being charged with making an "obscene clone fall"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Costoffreedom
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife just gave birth to a set of identical twins. She named the first one Pete.

I named the second one Repeat.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hasitcometothis4
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
🚨︎ report
My best friend couldn’t come out to the pub with me tonight so his identical twin came instead.

He’s my buddy double.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnFancyPants
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
there's literally three sets of twins in my math class.

guess this year is gonna be their year- its twinny twinny after all.

*twinny twinny sounds like twenty twenty (2020)*

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/downtothechateau
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
My newborn twin are patriots

Ameri and Erica.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StephMujan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My son suggested to my parents that they should adopt twin girls. I said,

"Do you want aunts? Cause that's how you get aunts!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dlordcletus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Yeah, I could get surgery to remove my conjoined twin

But I'm rather attached to them.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SonofaTimeLord
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My aunt is having twins. Dad thinks she should name the girl Denise.

And the boy Denephew

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/titsucker99
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2015
🚨︎ report
My hispanic fireman friend had twin boys.

He named one Jose and the other Hose B.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at work.

So, I have an uncle, once removed.

πŸ‘︎ 131
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
🚨︎ report
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.

So, I have an uncle once removed.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.

I have an uncle, once removed.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend Jay recently had twins, and wanted to name them after him.

So I suggested Kay and Elle.

πŸ‘︎ 449
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My twin brother likes to take the stairs, but I always prefer the elevator.

I guess..... we are raised differently.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend Jay had twins recently, and he wanted to name them after him.

So I suggested Kay and Elle.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me the other day what I wanted to name our twin daughters. Kate, I replied. And the other, she asked?

DupliKate

πŸ‘︎ 92
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
My twin brother called me from prison.

He said, β€œYou know that thing where we finish each other’s sentences?”.

πŸ‘︎ 204
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I failed my calculus exam because I was seated in between two identical twins.

I couldn’t differentiate between them.

πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend Jay recently had twin girls, and wanted to name them after him.

So I suggested Kaye and Elle.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My father was born with a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.

I have an uncle, once removed.

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend Jay just had twin daughters and wants to name them after him.

So I suggested Kay and Elle.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My twin brother called me from prison. He said β€œso you know how we always finish each other’s sentences”
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/skol_vkings
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I failed my calculus exam because I was seated next to two identical twins.

It was impossible to differentiate between them.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend Jay just had twins and wants to name them after him.

So I suggested Kay and Elle.

πŸ‘︎ 95
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2018
🚨︎ report
My twin brother called me from prison

He said, "So you know how we finish each other's sentences?"

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thatrandomfly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend Jay just had twins, and wants to name them after him.

So I suggested Kay and Elle.

πŸ‘︎ 173
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2018
🚨︎ report
I failed my calculus exam in college because I was seated between two identical twins.

I couldn’t differentiate between them.

πŸ‘︎ 229
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2018
🚨︎ report
My twin brother called me from prison.

He said: "You know how we finish each other's sentences?"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Someone just complimented my wife and told her that she and our daughter looked like twins.

I said, β€œWell, they were separated at birth.”

πŸ‘︎ 89
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My sister just had twins, a boy and a girl, and she let me name them! The girl's name is Denise.

The boy's name is Denephew.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YoungMuppet
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
🚨︎ report

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