Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
Just deleted all the German contacts off my phone.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, “Dad get out of the way!”
I said, “You’re the ones blocking!”
This happened with me today morning. My phone's headphone jack isn't working so I asked my dad what to do about it.
He said, "Let's get a headphone Jill, then!"
I just dropped my phone in the bath
I went to the bathroom earlier today and forgot my phone
It was a shitty experience
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
My wife asked me to sync her phone
So I threw it in the ocean.. don't know why she is so mad
Found it saved on my phone
I didn't realize my phone came with noface detection
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty second pause, I asked, "You still there sweetheart?"
"Yeah…" she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now…"
So I overclocked my phone...
So, my child told me on the phone they'd got a sex change. They could tell I wasn't too bothered...
I had become trans-parent
I named my phone "The Titanic"
Now, every time I plug it into my computer it says: “The Titanic is syncing”
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
I like to write jokes down from this sub and store them on my phone.
This isn’t mine and I don’t know who made it, but it’s been on my phone for so many years and I haven’t seen it on here yet. I hope you all love it as much as I do.
My phone battery is 69% right now
I keep dropping my phone while reading all these dad jokes.
It’s getting out of hand.
Sry I dont answer my phone on 9/11 . . .
I keep it on airplane mode.
I use my cell phone as an alarm clock.
I call it Veriz'n shine..
I use Ironman sounds in my phones event calander for important stuff.
My wife asked if I was charging my phone.
I told her it owes me money.
The guy running my town is awful. He doesn’t respond to phone calls because he only works after dark.
He’s a total night mayor.
My wife and 2yo were just watching Paw Patrol. There is a cow mooing into a cell phone to video chat with the team to ask for help for a cat stuck on the roof.
I told my wife "That cat would have way more grip on roof shingles and I expect more I realism from talking cartoon cows. This is "UDDERLY" ridiculous."
She may have buried her head and avoided eye contact for a bit. I was proud.
Why do I care that my son’s phone was at 18%?
Cause it was the minimum age of percent.
Wife: I’m not in the mood to do my homework. Me: Just phone it in and do C-work. Wife: I don’t know how to do C-Work.
Me: step 1, buy a boat.
Just happened. Not an official dad yet but she’s 6 months pregnant. Got to get the practice in while I can.
I changed my phone's name to Titanic.
My friend asked me how the text-to-speech feature works on his phone, but I didn't bother explaining it to him.
Wife (we both live in the US): I have to make sure my work phone is on do not disturb mode before bed so I don’t get email notifications from co-workers in our office in Europe.
Me: Sure, because when they send email, they don’t care if you’re up.
I tried everything but I couldn't get my phone to sync with my computer, so I threw it in the toilet.
Someone fired a gun into my phone
My phone was showing "Battery low". So I placed it on top of the cupboard.
It worked. Can't see the notification any more.
My twin brother was being rude to our mother on the phone, so I pushed him out of the window...
Now I am being charged with making an "obscene clone fall"
This just happened: I explained to my 11 year-old niece that wheat pennies are/were a thing. She didn’t believe me, so she looked it up on grandma’s phone. To our surprise, we learned that there are some people selling wheat pennies online for *thousands* to *TENS* *of* *thousands* of dollars.
To which I said, “That doesn’t make cents.”
My phone died while I was listening to Guns n Roses
I guess it went knock knock knockin on heavens door
My son told me to answer my phone.
But it didn't say anything.
I was on the phone and my daughter said “your phone is so loud.”
I said “Yeah, I have my volume up high because I’m deaf.” She replied “hi deaf.” ....I’m so proud
My dad just told me the worst dad joke ever but I love it at the same time the joke was "Why does Mr Tayto have a phone"
My friend wanted to ask a girl out, but every time he'd get her on the phone he'd freak out and abruptly disconnect..
He had too many hang-ups.
I was on the phone last night with my niece and she said what do you call someone laying on the floor.
My brother said a liar and she goes no, Matt! Very proud of her.
So my hamster chewed through my phone charger last night.
I think it’s fair to say she had a... shocking experience.
I want to drink my coffee, smoke my cigarette, browse reddit on my phone all at the same time but I only have 2 hands. I wish I had another set of hands for this.
I think that would be pretty handy.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
I dropped my phone in the lake...
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
