My Russian friend was telling me how he thinks people have a negative view of his Country.

I just thought โ€˜Oh, Crimea riverโ€™.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Khronum
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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You can actually tell the sex of an ant by dropping it in water.

If they float, they're boy ant.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kristhebrown
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 18 2018
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DROP YOUR BEST PUNS FOR HISTORY DRINKING GAME

I'm creating a drinking game where every important event equals to drinking, but I am nowhere close to NAMING my drinking game. A friend of mine recommended this subreddit, saying that people drop some really punny puns here. Give your ideas for a title, I think up to 6 words would be okay.

Let's see what you can do!

What you need to know about the game:

  • You can create your timeline based on packages (ages, countries, continents, etc).
  • Every important event has a normal action and drinking action.
  • You never know in which year you are located but get an estimate year. You can either guess the year (or date) and get a free pass or you have to execute the action or drinking action. When you guess wrong, you'll have to double it.

That's basically it.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Tyounr
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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An English lady, while vacationing in Switzerland, fell in love with a small town and the surrounding countryside.

She asked the pastor of a local church if he knew of any houses with rooms to rent that were close to town, but out in the country. The pastor kindly drove her out to see a house with a room to rent. She loved the house and decided to rent the room. Then, the lady returned to her home in England to make her final preparations to move to Switzerland.

When she arrived back home, the thought occurred to her that she had not seen a โ€œW.C.โ€ in the room or even down the hall. (A W.C. is short for โ€œwater closetโ€ and is what the English call a toilet.) So she immediately emailed the pastor to ask him where the โ€œW.C.โ€ is located.

The Swiss pastor had never heard of a โ€œW.C.,โ€ and so he Googled the abbreviation and found an article titled โ€œWayside Chapels.โ€ Thinking that the English lady was asking about a country church to attend near her new home, the pastor responded as follows:

Ms. Smith,

I look forward to your move. Regarding your question about the location of the W.C., the closest W.C. is situated only two miles from the room you have rented, in the center of a beautiful grove of pine trees. The W.C. has aย maximum occupancy of 229 people, but not that many people usually go on weekdays. I suggest youย plan to go on Thursday evenings when there is a sing-along. The acoustics are remarkable and the happy sounds of so many people echo throughout the W.C.

Sunday mornings are extremely crowded. The locals tend to arrive early and many bring their lunches to make a day of it. Those who arrive just in time can usually be squeezed into the W.C. before things start, but not always. Best to go early if you can!

It may interest you to know that my own daughter was married in the W.C. and it was there that she met her husband. I remember how everyone crowded in to sit close to the bride and groom. There were two people to a seat ordinarily occupied by one, but our friends and family were happy to share. ย I will admit that my wife and I felt particularly relieved when it was over. We were truly wiped out.

Because of my responsibilities in town, I canโ€™t go as often as I used to. In fact, I havenโ€™t been in well over a year. I can tell you I really miss regularly going to the W.C. Letโ€™s plan on going together for your first visit. I can reserve us seats where you will be seen by all.

Sincerely,

Pastor Kurt Meier

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Anthonybrose
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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Baby gender reveal at my family reunion

My brotherโ€™s wife has been pregnant for five months and decided that they wanted to reveal the gender of the baby at our family reunion of about 40 people.

One night, after just finishing up a BBQ, my brother and his wife stand up and announce to the family that they are going to have a little baby girl. Everyone starts cheering, naturally.

Once the cheers die down a little I shout out, โ€œDo you have a name for the baby yet?โ€

My brother replies, โ€œYeah. Liana Noelle.โ€

Everyone starts to โ€œOoohhhโ€ and โ€œAhhhhโ€ and proclaim how pretty of a name it is.

Then after a moment I shout, โ€œHow the hell are you supposed to spell Liana with no L?โ€


Edit (10/22/2014): Probably won't be seen or noticed by anyone, but my baby niece was just born today! She's on the opposite side of the country, but I can't wait to meet her!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Ted_E_Bear
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 01 2014
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I think I'm going to change my name to Hindsight and run for President

All over the country people would put up my signs and bumper stickers...

HINDSIGHT 2020

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/riskable
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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So my dad is watching a TV show on Somalis.

Dad is on couch watching Tv, I peek my head in the room

Me: Whatcha watchin?

Dad: A show on Somalis' (the show showed a boat and some waves)

M:confused You mean like Somalians like the African people? Pretty intense stuff.

D: No no, Somalis, you know, they're huge! come in and wipe everything out.

M: Dad, you probably shouldn't say that about people. It isn't nice.

D: No, SOMALIS.

at this point I have absolutely no idea what he's talking about and so I decide to watch and figure it out for myself.

M: JESUS DAD YOU MEAN TSUNAMIS!!!

D: Yeah, Tsunamis!

M: Somalis are people from the country of Somalia. They are very poor and known for having a lot of pirates.

D: I bet they also have Somalis

M: Probably.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/RawrYoFace
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 14 2014
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