As a man, I do not make mistakes, I have no misconceptions and I never misunderstand.

I make Mr takes, have Mr conceptions and always Mr understand.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2021
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What do you call it when your virtual assistant misunderstands your request?

Dysalexia

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pyrolovesmoney
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
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A simple (and deliberate) misunderstanding of grammar
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2022
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Misunderstanding on purpose

My favourite 'dad joke' is purposefully misunderstanding the kids and watching their disbelief as they try and reword things so even an idiot can understand. We have a family app so they need permission to download some apps onto their devices (because we are "controlling" πŸ™‚).

So every now and then this will happen:

Child : Can I get an app?

Me : sure, if you're tired just go and lie down.

Child: no, an APP

Me: yes, lie DOWN

Child: No, I need an... I want a...I just want...an app.

Me: or an early night?

Child: weary sigh

Me: you do look tired

  • thinking I'm the best joker in history*

That was a short version. If it didn't make sense, read it aloud.

The kids will put me in a home at the first opportunity.

πŸ‘︎ 225
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πŸ‘€︎ u/user_error101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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Girls be misunderstanding everything
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Devanshi1618
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
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I guess you can say my misunderstanding of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles

Elbow

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KCCOmputer_Mikey
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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What is green and fuzzy and if it falls out a tree it'll kill you?

A pool table.

πŸ‘︎ 781
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πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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I got kicked out of the Casino last night

Slight misunderstanding about the Craps table!

πŸ‘︎ 215
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2021
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The truth about reindeer

Santa Claus and two reindeer walk into a bar and order eggnogs. "Hello, Santa," the bartender greets him. "Where are the other seven reindeer tonight?" "Oh, that's just a misunderstanding. I only actually have two reindeer," Santa corrects him. "Rudolph and Olive, the other reindeer."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Firegoat1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2021
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Puns can lead to such misunderstandings... youtu.be/IesqfgqJsDA
πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/travisjonescomedy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2015
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I think there’s been a misunderstanding… theawkwardyeti.com/i-thin…
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awkwardyeti
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2014
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I think there’s been a misunderstanding… theawkwardyeti.com/comic/…
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awkwardyeti
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2014
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What do you call a Miss who's standing under a bridge...

Misunderstanding

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2021
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My Dad is a little confused about current fashion trends.

I walked into the kitchen wearing a new orange t-shirt.

Me: I wasn't sure I'd look good in orange, but I really like this new shirt.

Dad: You know, I heard orange is the new black.

Me: That's a TV show.

Dad: Oh, that makes so much more sense.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wizkidmn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2014
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I recently went to the mattress store to buy a new mattress.

The salesman pointed me to a bunch of different options. Ultimately I think I found one that I wanted but the cost was a bit much. I asked the salesman if I could sleep on it and he said yes.

There must have been a misunderstanding because a few minutes later he kicked me out of the store.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dyspaereunia
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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Instructor: Welcome to Salsa Class. Let's learn how to dance.

Me (hiding a bag of tortilla chips): There's been a misunderstanding.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
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Studying for my MCAT when I came across this passage in Verbal.

I have written this book to sweep away all misunderstandings about the crafty art of punnery and to convince you that the pun is well worth celebrating.... After all, the pun is mightier than the sword, and these days you are much more likely to run into a pun than into a sword. [A pun is a witticism involving the playful use of a word in different senses, or of words which differ in meaning but sound alike.]

Scoffing at puns seems to be a conditioned reflex, and through the centuries a steady barrage of libel and slander has been aimed at the practice of punning. Nearly three hundred years ago John Dennis sneered, β€œA pun is the lowest form of wit,” a charge that has been butted and rebutted by a mighty line of pundits and punheads.

Henry Erskine, for example, has protested that if a pun is the lowest form of wit, β€œIt is, therefore, the foundation of all wit.” Oscar Levant has added a tag line: β€œA pun is the lowest form of humorβ€”when you don’t think of it first.” John Crosbie and Bob Davies have responded to Dennis with hot, cross puns: β€œ...If someone complains that punning is the lowest form of humor you can tell them that poetry is verse.”

Samuel Johnson, the eighteenth century self-appointed custodian of the English language, once thundered, β€œTo trifle with the vocabulary which is the vehicle of social intercourse is to tamper with the currency of human intelligence. He who would violate the sanctities of his mother tongue would invade the recesses of the national till without remorse... ”

Joseph Addison pronounced that the seeds of punning are in the minds of all men, and tho’ they may be subdued by reason, reflection, and good sense, they will be very apt to shoot up in the greatest genius, that which is not broken and cultivated by the rules of art.

Far from being invertebrate, the inveterate punster is a brave entertainer. He or she loves to create a three-ring circus of words: words clowning, words teetering on tightropes, words swinging from tent tops, words thrusting their head into the mouths of lions. Punnery can be highly entertaining, but it is always a risky business. The humor can fall on its face, it can lose its balance and plunge into the sawdust, or it can be decapitated by the snapping shut of jaws. While circus performers often receive laughter or applause for their efforts, punsters often draw an obligatory groan for theirs. But the fact that most people groan at, rather than laugh at, puns doesn’t mean that the punnery isn’t fu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zil2mz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2014
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I'm Well Known (and Hated) for These Around My School

After a long list of dad jokes in a chat, one of my friends told me to get hit by a truck. I responded with:

"that would be a semi-solution" and then: "If I am misunderstanding a part of this, please articulate your concerns to my friend lorry, she will clarify"

many people left the chat after this

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/noble_gasses
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2016
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Dad joked on Facebook

Post: 60 matches down, only 4 to go.

Dad: Time to buy a new box then.


Bonus:

Dad: or did I misunderstand?

Other comment: No, he's talking about the football.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KruxOfficial
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2014
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My son just bumped his head [help]

OK, this just happened: bumped head, bag of frozen veggies, < enter dad stage left (the doorway, stage right is a window, and it's shut).>

Me: what happened little man? Him: <he explains> Me: So... mummy peed on your head? <Wife smirks condescendingly> Him: what?

Now, this is what I need help with, it's not the first time this has happened either, the wife goes on for a minute or so explaining how "wee" is sometimes called "pee" and how I'm deliberately misunderstanding him for comic effect.

If this wasn't bad enough he then howls with laughter for about five minutes getting me to repeat what I said again and again, all the while jumping around in the bed and generally totally cured by my comedic genius.

This isn't the way it's meant to be, is it? Can I enrol in a local parenting class, or should I send my wife to couples therapy?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/created4this
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2016
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Dadjoked a good friend of mine.

Kind of a clichΓ© , but it made me so happy.

Her: I'm hungry

Me: Hi Hungry! I'm Ricardo!

Her: I thought your name was Shut Up. Who would have ever thought?

Me: No it's Ricardo. I'm glad we have this misunderstanding behind us Hungry.

Her: Oh, I'm so glad.

Me: Hi, So Glad! I'm Ricardo!

Her: -_-

I didn't think I'd be able to do this until I actually was a Dad, so this just made my day.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bolanos
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2013
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