If a Minnesota NBA player transfered to the Minnesota NHL team

would he become a Timberwolf in the Wild?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
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Just arrived in Minnesota: the land of 10,000 lakes and 1 bad pun..
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
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Visiting Minnesota, family wanted to visit the Mall of America

β€œEhh, you’ve been to one, you’ve been to the mall”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkSoulsIdiot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
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You cannot buy a carbonated beverage any larger than 8 oz in the state of Minnesota
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Money_fingers
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2018
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What does winter in Minnesota and Jamaica have in common?

You can practically taste the salt in the air

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bedwell1105
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
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What do short people in Minnesota like to drink?

A Mini-soda

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AwesomeAdam825
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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Minnesota
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DusenberryPie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2017
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I'm a street performer at the Minnesota Renaissance Festival. I tell punny jokes there, thought you'd enjoy them.

The King is in love with the Spanish Armada, in fact you could say he warships it.

I got into a fight with a group of jesters, I escaped by going for the juggler.

I recently read "Gulliver's Travels" it was a Swift read.

Have you read the book about traveling through hell? It's a Dante-ing read.

Q: How many animals can you fight into the Lord High Sheriff's tights? A: Ten piggies, two calves, a rooster and an ass.

Vikings raided the royal cheese supply, they left nothing behind but de Brie.

I met a wizard, I told him he looked like a mana action.

The unskilled mason forget to put a water supply in the new castle. He did not keep well.

The angry archer was so surly he had everyone convinced he was a cross bowman.

The failed stone cutter also lost his job as a bounty hunter. He could never find his quarry.

The nun kept spilling sacramental wine on herself. She made a bad habit of it.

The pope enjoys chocolate on his boat. He like sailing indulgences.

The pope loves summer, they say he is infallible.

Two fae fell in love. They keep fauning over each other.

The knight suffered from boils, he had to get them lanced.

Why did the wood nymph use some much lotion? Because she had dryad skin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kbdekker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2016
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Yesterday, as I brought in the dogs from a potty break in our Minnesota backyard before we went to the grocery store, my wife asked me to reminder her to pick up some frozen peas. I told her..

..."The backyard is full of them, we don't need any more!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2018
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Asked Dad if the Senator from Minnesota has a beer mug

"Sure, its a Franken-Stein."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Geohump
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2014
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Do you know the top 15 states to live in?

Alaska, Washington, Idaho, Montana, North Dakota, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, Vermont, New Hampshire, & Maine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ttynny20
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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Four men waiting in the hospital

Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, β€œCongratulations! You’re the father of twins.”

β€œThat’s odd,” answers the man. β€œI work for the Minnesota Twins!”

A nurse says to the second guy, β€œCongratulations! You’re the father of triplets!”

β€œThat’s weird,” answers the second man. β€œI work for the 3M company!”

A nurse tells the third man, β€œCongratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets!”

β€œThat’s strange,” he answers. β€œI work for the Four Seasons hotel!”

The last man is groaning and banging his head against the wall. β€œWhat’s wrong?” the others ask.

β€œI work for 7 Up!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kgangadhar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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What state is famously known for selling small soft drinks?

Minnesota

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sergeantsexxy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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Which U.S. state is famous for its extra-small soft drinks??

Minnesota ! HA!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/balkso
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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I soda not see that comming
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrwaffleMssyrup
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
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Dads

There were three fathers to be in a hospital waiting room, waiting for their babies to be born.

The first nurse comes out and tells the first father, "Congratulations you're the father of twins!" He says, β€œGreat! I am the manager for the Minnesota Twins.”

The second nurse comes out and tells the second father, "Congratulations you're the father of triplets”! He says, "That's cool! I work for 3M."

The third father opens the window and jumps out.

The third nurse comes out, and asks, β€œWhere's the third father?"

One of the other fathers said, "Oh he jumped out the window.”

The nurse asks, "Why?"

He replied, "He works for Seven Up!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
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In what state do you watch a priest, sneeze, and sit down?

massachusetts.

It gets worse. My kids and I have a ton of these for different states. Should it be one thread?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/christianleft
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2016
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New York might have the Big Apple...

But Minnesota is where the Minneapolis

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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Mini soda
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RabbitGuySentMe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2017
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πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreshRad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2016
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I’m not a fan of big soda

But I’m very fond of Minnesota.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dev125691
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
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I embarrassed myself with this one today

Talking to a coworker from Minnesota, while we currently live on the east coast:

"So how was your easter? Or do you guys celebrate midwester out there?"

No laughs, just silence. I think I did well.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrjanuary
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2016
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Joke from an 11yr old

I had a conversation with my friend Grace (11yr) today.

G: EGOfoodie, what are you going to eat on your flight to Minnesota. Me: thinks about it Well... G: A plane bagel?

This kid is going places.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EGOfoodie
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
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What state has the smallest soft drinks?

Minnesota.

This is seriously my dads favorite joke to tell servers when we are out. It drives my step mom up the wall.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bananapyro05
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2018
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What U.S state has the smallest soda?

Minnesota

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_just_my_2_cents
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
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You know how most dogs say woof?

In Minnesota, they say woofda.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jackhackery
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2018
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My buddy said he will be known as a great football player or die trying.

I told him he had better start planning the funeral because we live in Minnesota: the best you can ever hope for is, "Not Bad".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/benjamindbrooks
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
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Need a place to stay? Well...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ninjaW1THglasses
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2013
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The mayor of Saint Paul passed a law banning large soft drinks.

Now if you want one you have to get a Minnesota

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hopelessnerd-exe
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2018
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Random terrible puns I came up with using (some of) the 50 States
  • Alaska girl out when the times right
  • Arkansas right? (Ar Can Saw right?)
  • I’ll California
  • He’s gonna Florida car!
  • Iowa lot of money right now
  • He was in a state of Missouri for the past few days
  • He’s the Maine character of the book
  • Mind Washington dishes tonight?
  • Can I get a Minnesota with my burger?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GodofWar1234
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2017
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Did you know that you can't order fountain drinks larger than 8 ounces in St. Paul?

It's mini soda law.

Bonus joke: where are the trees in Minnesota?

Between da twos and da fours.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/evanthesquirrel
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
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Post your most recent, facepalm-inducing puns!

[during tonight's Minnesota Wild/Chicago Blackhawks game]

Me: "Hey, do you want to hear a hockey joke?"

Eldest sister: "No."

Me: "OK. Just checking."

Your turn! Make me cringe! :D

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Metallica93
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2015
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A dad is flying with his young son into Minneapolis.

"Where are we now, Dad?" the son asks.

"We're in Minnesota," the dad replies.

"What is Minnesota known for?"

"Well, they have these extremely tiny sodas..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Renarr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2017
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Friend's daughter got us at dinner

Sitting at dinner with my buddy and his daughters, the oldest one is a natural dad.

"Which state has the smallest sodas? . . . Minnesota"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EnthusiasticCat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2015
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What do you call a small soft drink from the north?

A mini-soda (Minnesota)!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Noobguy27
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2014
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(step)Dadjoke tonight

So my step dad, mother, and I are on our way home from a pint night tonight when we got onto the conversation of twins. I was going back and forth with my mom, who as a nurse was giving insightful comments on the subject. My step dad quips in and asks if there's any specific parts of the US that are prone to fraternal or identical twins. We both are kinda confused for a second, and my mom says it's not a geographical thing but genetics. He then says he would have thought Minnesota would have been the place. I lost my shit. My mom was confused until she realized it was a baseball dadjoke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jahlovelol
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2015
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Got my dad with this one

Dad came by to pick up my niece and nephew who'd stayed overnight, and there was a hockey game on between the Minnesota Wild and Florida Panthers. My dad looked at the TV and says:

Where's Florida?

Southeastern part of the US. Big peninsula. You've probably seen it on a map?

I mean, sure, he was asking for it, but man it felt good to get the master back.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FnDork
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2016
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Boyfriend dropped this about the pending snowstorm

Discussing the snow we're supposed to be getting in Minnesota.

Me: I think we're going to get a blizzard..

Him: Like, from Sonic?

He laughs for long, long time

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arechs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2014
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My mom dad joked us all on a road trip.

We were driving to Minnesota for vacation and as we are passing through Iowa, I see a wind farm (they are very uncommon where im from). I say "look, guys! A wind farm!" To which my mom replies almost immediately "I wonder if they start them off as seeds or sprouts." Kinda caught us all off guard!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dylanvansandt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2014
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My dad made this one up. Supposedly.

Some backstory: My mother is 100% swedish, which is awesome, but my dad can't help but make fun of her for being a swedish farm girl that grew up in Minnesota (They met in NorCal, where I was born and raised).
He ALWAYS tells this one. My mom tends to roll her eyes and punch him in the shoulder.

DAD: Hey, guess how many pallbearers there are at a Swedish funeral.
ME: sigh How many?
DAD: Two. You know why?
ME: Why?
DAD: Well, there's only two handles on a trash can.

He proceeds to chuckle for 2+ minutes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YesButTellMeWhy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2013
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A Dad stopped me in the middle of a thick crowd to lay this one on me

Yesterday was Opening Day (baseball) at Target Field (Minnesota). The first 10,000 or so fans received a free blue zip-up hoodie with "Twins" emblazoned on the front. It's a damn fine hoodie.

It's also packed on the stadium concourse. 40,123 attendees that day. As my husband and I are making our way through a dense crowd along the right field concourse, an older gentleman stops me in my tracks with this big grin and says, "Wow, that's a great sweatshirt! Where'd you get it?"

He was holding one in his hand.

His other hand was holding that of his wife, who was rolling her eyes pretty hard. I imagine that was neither the first nor last time he'd made that joke yesterday.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bachrock37
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2015
🚨︎ report
Which US state is famous for its extra small soft drinks?

Minnesota

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dani_SF
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Which state has the smallest drinks?

Minnesota!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gunnergrayhem
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2017
🚨︎ report

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