Finished singing a song with my 4yo and she said β€œthat’s song’s a bummer.” I said β€œbummer means something that brings you down or makes you sad. I think you meant to say that song’s a banger.”

She said, β€œNo, I meant to say that you’re a bummer.”

So proud 😒

ETA: that

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πŸ‘€︎ u/schultmh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2022
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What's it mean when you have a song stuck in your head?

You have a one-track mind.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
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If you change word "Love" to "Lunch", you can totally change the meaning of a lot of songs.

All You Need Is Lunch

Do You Believe In Life After Lunch

Lunch In An Elevator

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SplashbackDeuce
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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A Music Producer asks a musical director....

Producer: "I'm working on a new song and I would like it to feature a singing Ensemble! Do you know where I can find a singing ensemble?"

Director: "Don't you mean a choir?"

Producer: "Okay. Do you know I can acquire a singing ensemble?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2021
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Driving behind a hearse, my wife asked β€œHow fast do you think a hearse can go?”

Me: I don’t think very fast at all

Wife: Why not?!

Me: Well I mean they have all that dead weight in the back...

Literally a conversation we had last night. She actually laughed out loud!

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeroWeDeserve87
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
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Do you know this song?

Daughter: "Dad, do you know the song 'Chandelier'?"

Me: <Sing a few lines>. "You mean that one?"

Daughter: "Yeah!"

Me: <Think for a moment> "No, never heard it."

I've tried it and it works with other songs too!

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2015
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So I heard Foo Fighters released a new song titled "Run"...

That means they have made music to Walk to, and now to Run to... Here's hoping I get some music to Jog or Sit to.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AngelicShaft
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2017
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A List of Puns (and other excuses for good humor)

Me: You got the goods?

Dealer: I have an alloy of iron and carbon for only $1.

Me: My, what a steel!

Guy: Hey, wanna hear my joke?

Boxer: I dunno, man. People always say I ruin their punchline.

Teacher: What are the four components of DNA?

Student: Actually, there are five: Adenine, cytosine, guanine, thymine--

Teacher: Oh? And the fifth one?

Student: I got I got I got I got...

Me (metric): Why does America use the imperial system? It's stupid.

Friend (imperial): Actually, other places use the imperial system.

Me: Which other places?

Friend: The Galactic Empire.

Guy: I hate spam.

Me: I like sushi.

Me: I like sushi.

Me: I like sushi.

...

Someone: Son of a gun...

Someone Else: Now you've just pistoled me off!

Okay, I know these are not the greatest puns ever, but this is my first post in this subreddit. Anyway, now here are the explanations:

Joke 1 - An alloy of carbon and iron is popularly referred to as steel, and stainless steel costs $2.41, in which the item receives a 58.51% reduction in cost, which is a mighty bargain, also known as a steal.

Joke 2 - Boxing is a sport in which your only goal is to knock your opponent out through a series of punches. The ending or twist of a joke is commonly referred to as the punchline of said joke.

Joke 3 - Check out Kendrick Lamar's DNA song.

Joke 4 - Troops and personnel of the Galactic Empire from Star Wars are commonly referred to as the Imperials.

Joke 5 - Spam musubi, or just spam, is a type of sushi. On the internet, spam is referred to as the repetition of a specific message, especially when emailing, to annoy or advertise a product/website to someone.

Joke 6 - The phrase, "Son of a gun", is a friendlier alternative to the phrase, "Son of a bitch!" Also, when you annoy someone, that means that you pissed them off, which sounds a bit like "pistoled".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/U2BURR
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
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I don't get it, why is it so important for Christians to have 'K' and 'M' next to each other at Christmas?

I mean every other song "No L, No L!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robeh002
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
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One of the best dad jokes that I've ever heard came from my girlfriend's four year old

In Wal-mart, looking for my girlfriend, and trying to practice my spanish

I look around and say "donde estan, donde estan, donde estan", kind of thinking about this song I heard years ago.

She goes, what does "donde estan mean?"

I say, well it sort of means "where are you, or where are they? I'm looking for your mom and your sister."

Her reply was "I donde estahnd what your saying"

πŸ‘︎ 880
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πŸ‘€︎ u/civilized_animal
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2014
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[Request] Tubas and Classic Rock

Every year for the past few years, I’ve written music for a tuba ensemble for a summer band camp. Last year’s music was titled β€œTubaChristmas in July,” which had β€œHallelujah” by Pentatonix, β€œCarol of the Bells,” β€œYou’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch,” and β€œHave Yourself a Merry TubaChristmas.” This year I’m about 90% sure we’re doing rock/classic rock. So far I have β€œBohemian Rhapsody” by Queen, β€œPaint It, Black” by The Rolling Stones, β€œLivin’ on a Prayer” by Bon Jovi, β€œDon’t Stop Believin’” by Journey, and some fifth song I haven’t chosen yet (BTW I’m open to song ideas).

I need a pun that mixes Tuba with Rock or with Classic Rock. Similar to how TubaChristmas in July doesn’t include song names, but you know it’s Christmas music on tubas.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Leo_1110
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
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My wife and I were at a restaurant...

"How Bizarre" by OMC was playing

Her: I swear I hear this song every time we're here.

Me: How bizarre.

Her: Just cause you're a dad now doesn't mean you can use your dad jokes on me.

πŸ‘︎ 161
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nickharl
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2016
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Listening to Kiss from a Rose by Seal

Wife: This is a really strange song. I mean do roses even have lips?

Me: No but I know what plant does.

Wife: ?

Me: Tulips.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DPAtheCPA
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2018
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The day I (first) one-upped my dad's joke:

One day my dad & I were driving home from fishing and a Neil Diamond song was on the radio. My dad said, "This is actually an impersonator called Neil Sapphire." I immediately responded, "Don't you mean Neil Cubic Zirconia?" His groan was priceless to me back then, and I'm waiting for the day my son will do that to me.

(true story from ~30 years ago)

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wj333
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2016
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The legend of the tutor mice

So, let's see that report card. Hmmm. Not so great this term, eh? Maybe you should have bought some tutor mice.

What are tutor mice? You never heard of tutor mice? No wonder. There's this elf, see, and he trains mice to teach kids different subjects. You buy one mouse for math, another for English, and so on. Each mouse you buy is a guaranteed A.

And the best thing is, this elf doesn't have a shop or anything. He comes to you. All you have to do is sing the song.

What do you mean what song. Everybody knows the song. You just have to sing it like you really mean it, and he'll pop up and sell you some mice. Like this:

β™«I'LL BUY MICE, E-E-ELF...β™«

β™«DON'T WANNA 'B'!β™«

β™«I'LL BUY MICE, ELF!β™«

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrettyDecentSort
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2014
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On the way to breakfast with my son...

My son hear the word "amnesia" in a song on the radio and says "I've heard that word before, but I forgot what it means."

He thought it was funny when I explained why I was laughing, too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joealarson
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2014
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That's cold

I overheard a father taking to his 3 year old child in Waitrose in the frozen section

Boy: Dad, that's ice Dad: ...Ice Baby. Boy: Huh, what do you mean? Dad: Don't worry, it's just a naff song from the 80's.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Albatraous
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2015
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