Jordan Peterson is a controversial figure but he did figure out something interesting.

So he’s mostly known as a psychologist, self help Guru and β€œphilosopher” but he also did some interesting work in Marine Biology.

One of the papers he worked on was on how the nuclear tests in the Bikini Atol effected Predator genetics.

The results learned that the nuclear tests during the cold war disrupted shark breeding so much that species were splitting apart.

They called it the Post Modern Neo Shark Schism.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
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One time, I saw a beaver and I thought it was odd.

Then I saw another marine animal, and I thought it was otter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OiTheRolk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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A scuba diver and a marine sit at the port

The scuba diver turns to the marine and says "I can't handle this job anymore, I undergo too much pressure"

The marine looks at the diver and tells him "It may be hard now, but once you get used to it it'll all be smooth sailing"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kiwi-the-Kiwi
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2018
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My dad said this last night.

So a little backstory, my parents take the dog for a walk every night. My mom is in college (lol napoleon dynamite) and she takes a marine biology class.

So they were on one of those walks last night, and they were talking about ants. My mom's question was whether or not ants sleep. My dad replies saying, "Why are you asking me? You're the one in a biology class." To which she replied, "I'm in a marine biology class, I don't think there are any marine ants."

Without skipping a beat, my dad came up with the most incredible response...

"Why can't there be marine ants? We already have army ants."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrematureSquirt
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2014
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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Not really a 'joke' per se, but my dad's take on 'Let It Snow', from Southern California

So my dad sent this to everyone in his office. I groaned a couple of times and thought it'd fit in well here.

Oh, the weather outside is crazy
Like a film from Martin Scorsese
The rain will fall and the wind will blow
El niΓ±o, el niΓ±o, el niΓ±o

It doesn’t show signs of stopping
My shirt and pants are sopping
Oh, where did that umbrella go
El niΓ±o, el niΓ±o, el niΓ±o

Weather patterns don’t seem right
Southern Cal is all a storm
The marine layer and all of its might
All because the Pacific is warm

The fear of fire is now subsiding
our thoughts turn to mudsliding
Down the hillside our houses flow
El niΓ±o, el niΓ±o, el niΓ±o

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2015
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Grilled Halibut

I stopped by my parents house for dinner - Mom: I picked up Halibut at Costco Dad: I'm gunna marinate it and grill just for the Halibut!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mynameisktb
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2016
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My Grandfather got me

Last weekend I attended the Marine Corps Ball

I was telling him about it and how we had a very nice time

he responded with "wow, sounds like you had a "ball"!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SCV_JARHEAD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2015
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dad- corny.... but still makes me smile every time....11 years later

Me: dad meet my new GF (older, but he has told the same joke for 11 years now...from HS to when I went to the Marine Corps and...now at good college... brought my GF home....still the same Joke) Dad: (as were leaving) remember kids (I'm 27) never pet a burning dog...(I sigh)....and remember outside of a dog a book is a mans best friend (pause ..as always GF turns around with a questionable look on her face)....because inside a dog its too dark to read .... Me: Smile put arm around my GF and just keep walking ..thinking to myself....one day Ill pull this same shit on my kids...one day

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πŸ‘€︎ u/goffjohn81
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2013
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Dadjoked one of the officers today.

I was unloading salt from a truck when one of the lieutenants was walking by. He asked me what was going on and I said "Sir, I'm just being the saltiest marine around!" A groan followed my statement.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeastOfEire
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2014
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My mom was cooking today...

Refferring to a piece of meat, she said, "What can I marinate you in?"

And without missing a beat, my dad chimes in with, "Well a bag usually works pretty well!"

Groans were shared by all.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ninjatertl
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2014
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Dadjoke while walking into 40k store. No takers. Lets see what I get here

First time at a Warhammer 40k store. I'm familiar with the game but have never played. Display window has a seven foot marine figure that is painted and badass. As I walk in,

"Whoa! How many points to play him?!?"

Me pointing at marine. Three nerds playing magic stop to look at me. Store employee looks up without moving his head. Two other store patrons turn to look at me.

Crickets.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfghost416
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2014
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