A list of puns related to "Mariner 6 and 7"
So heβs mostly known as a psychologist, self help Guru and βphilosopherβ but he also did some interesting work in Marine Biology.
One of the papers he worked on was on how the nuclear tests in the Bikini Atol effected Predator genetics.
The results learned that the nuclear tests during the cold war disrupted shark breeding so much that species were splitting apart.
They called it the Post Modern Neo Shark Schism.
Then I saw another marine animal, and I thought it was otter.
The scuba diver turns to the marine and says "I can't handle this job anymore, I undergo too much pressure"
The marine looks at the diver and tells him "It may be hard now, but once you get used to it it'll all be smooth sailing"
So a little backstory, my parents take the dog for a walk every night. My mom is in college (lol napoleon dynamite) and she takes a marine biology class.
So they were on one of those walks last night, and they were talking about ants. My mom's question was whether or not ants sleep. My dad replies saying, "Why are you asking me? You're the one in a biology class." To which she replied, "I'm in a marine biology class, I don't think there are any marine ants."
Without skipping a beat, my dad came up with the most incredible response...
"Why can't there be marine ants? We already have army ants."
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
So my dad sent this to everyone in his office. I groaned a couple of times and thought it'd fit in well here.
Oh, the weather outside is crazy
Like a film from Martin Scorsese
The rain will fall and the wind will blow
El niΓ±o, el niΓ±o, el niΓ±o
It doesnβt show signs of stopping
My shirt and pants are sopping
Oh, where did that umbrella go
El niΓ±o, el niΓ±o, el niΓ±o
Weather patterns donβt seem right
Southern Cal is all a storm
The marine layer and all of its might
All because the Pacific is warm
The fear of fire is now subsiding
our thoughts turn to mudsliding
Down the hillside our houses flow
El niΓ±o, el niΓ±o, el niΓ±o
I stopped by my parents house for dinner - Mom: I picked up Halibut at Costco Dad: I'm gunna marinate it and grill just for the Halibut!
Last weekend I attended the Marine Corps Ball
I was telling him about it and how we had a very nice time
he responded with "wow, sounds like you had a "ball"!"
Me: dad meet my new GF (older, but he has told the same joke for 11 years now...from HS to when I went to the Marine Corps and...now at good college... brought my GF home....still the same Joke) Dad: (as were leaving) remember kids (I'm 27) never pet a burning dog...(I sigh)....and remember outside of a dog a book is a mans best friend (pause ..as always GF turns around with a questionable look on her face)....because inside a dog its too dark to read .... Me: Smile put arm around my GF and just keep walking ..thinking to myself....one day Ill pull this same shit on my kids...one day
I was unloading salt from a truck when one of the lieutenants was walking by. He asked me what was going on and I said "Sir, I'm just being the saltiest marine around!" A groan followed my statement.
Refferring to a piece of meat, she said, "What can I marinate you in?"
And without missing a beat, my dad chimes in with, "Well a bag usually works pretty well!"
Groans were shared by all.
First time at a Warhammer 40k store. I'm familiar with the game but have never played. Display window has a seven foot marine figure that is painted and badass. As I walk in,
"Whoa! How many points to play him?!?"
Me pointing at marine. Three nerds playing magic stop to look at me. Store employee looks up without moving his head. Two other store patrons turn to look at me.
Crickets.
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