If Mary is the mother of Jesus and Jesus is the lamb of God
Does that mean that Mary had a little lamb?
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︎ Feb 14 2021
The Queen Mary & The Queen Elizabeth 2
Since you guys like one liners, I thought youβd live two liners.
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︎ Apr 19 2021
-Mary, where are the kids?
-In French.
-Mary, ou sont les enfants?
(It's a classic dad joke that makes a little more sense in my language).
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︎ Mar 05 2021
Mary was born without a uterus
It was immaculate contraception
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︎ Mar 25 2021
What do you call Mary J Bligeβs overly accommodating Irish cousin?
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︎ Jan 12 2021
How did Mary know baby Jesus was 6 lbs. 3 oz. at birth?
She gave him a weigh in a manger.
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︎ Dec 21 2020
Why couldnβt Mary and Joseph attend the online conference?
There was no zoom at the inn.
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︎ Dec 23 2020
I donβt think Mary and Joesph ever got a divorce
It was a pretty stable relationship
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︎ Dec 20 2020
Mary Queen of Scots. My favorite one, but She was found guilty of high treason and the Head of the Monarchy was then..
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︎ Jul 06 2020
When Mary had a little lamb, the labor and delivery doctor was surprised...
When Old MacDonald had a farm, the doctor died of shock.
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︎ Sep 02 2020
Mary didnβt understand revolving doors.
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︎ May 18 2020
This is a Mary Pop-PIN
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︎ Mar 25 2020
Mary Pill Poppins Pharmaceutical just created a miracle drug that can cure any human of any disease. It's effectiveness is renowned while it's side effects are surprisingly minimal: thick layer of skin develops on the lips while rendering them dry, cracked and quite odorous.
Patients effected by this claim it's super callused fragile lips that smell like halitosis
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︎ May 29 2020
When you have a friend named Mary
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︎ Dec 26 2019
I've called Bloody Mary three times now
I think she's ghosting me
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︎ Oct 01 2019
Sturgeon Mary
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︎ Dec 29 2019
Went to a priest to tell him about my weekend he told me to do 20 hail marys...
20 hail marys? Who does he think I am Aaron Rodgers?
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︎ Jan 31 2020
Iβm looking for punny popsicle names. Iβd like them to be a play on actual names like Pop Ross, Mary Pop-pins, Pop Seger, Albert Ice-stein, Freezy F Baby, David Pop-perfield, and Iggy Pop. Iβm particularly interested in playing upon the names of historical female figures. Help please and thank you!
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︎ Jul 18 2019
For halloween, my daughter dressed up as Mary Poppins, and then asked me if she could just skip the vegan neighbor's house.
When I her asked why, she said it was because their "Stupid Cauliflower Licorice Tastes A Lot Like Dog Shit."
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︎ Sep 05 2019
Iβve got a rare sight disorder from watching Mary Poppins too many times... it called umdiddleyumdiddleyumdiddley eye.
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︎ Sep 08 2019
Just been to the new Mary Poppins themed restaurant
Super Cauliflower Cheese The Lobster Was Atrocious
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︎ Feb 23 2019
Introduced my 3 year old to Mary Poppins and she loves it. But keeps telling me the joke told by Bert and Uncle Albert.
βI know a man with a wooden leg named Smith..β
βReally, whatβs the name of his other leg?β
She tells both lines and laughs loudly saying βthatβs funny Daddyβ...
Love it.
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︎ May 09 2019
They only serve Bloody Marys.
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︎ Sep 23 2018
What's the difference between Mother Mary and an experimental artist?
One made a messiah and the other "made a mess, sire".
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︎ Jun 15 2019
What do you call Mary Poppins when she feeds the birds?
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︎ May 10 2019
When Mary Jane and Peter Parker hit a rough patch,
She cut off ties to spite her man.
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︎ Feb 01 2019
Mary Shelley's Frankenstein:
History is told by the victor
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︎ Mar 14 2018
Hail Marys are a long shot.
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︎ Feb 05 2018
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︎ Feb 21 2014
Little mary jane was walking down the street with her mother. Her mother saw a quarter in the road and went out to pick it up and got hit by a bus.
Little mary jane just LAUGHED and LAUGHED.... she knew it was only a nickle.
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︎ Dec 09 2018
After a 4-year stint in the Navy, My friend changed her name from Marie to Mary...
It's like they always say, "I before E, except after sea"
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︎ Sep 02 2017
What did Mary Poppins sing to a diabetic child?
βJust a spoonful of medicine makes the sugar go downβͺβ
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︎ Oct 09 2017
What airline did Jesus and Mary take?
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︎ Jun 05 2018
My Wife lost the race to Sister Mary Francis
Apparently, she was second to nun.
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︎ Jan 16 2018
Is your name Mary?
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︎ May 04 2017
Mary had a baby bear...
To which she was so kind,
And everywhere that Mary went,
You could see her bear behind.
Dad and Gramps love this one.
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︎ Aug 18 2013
What do you call Mary J Bligeβs overly accommodating Irish cousin?
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︎ Jan 12 2021
Why were Mary and Joseph not able to join a conference call?
Because there was no Zoom at the Inn!
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︎ Dec 23 2020
Mary gave birth to Jesus in a manger
He is reportedly in a stable condition
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︎ Dec 15 2020
Went to a Mary Poppins themed restaurant last night.
Super cauliflower cheese but the lobster was atrocious.
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︎ Jul 19 2019
So if Mary had Jesus, and Jesus was the Lamb of God...
Does that mean Mary had a little lamb?
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︎ Aug 06 2018
What did Mary have for dinner?
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︎ Feb 02 2017
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