Mannequin Skywalker
A wear wolf
Guess it is a pretty loco motive
They are all a bunch of posers.
she's very vein.
"Is it to scale? " "No,just to look at! "
The cop arrested me for driving under the influencer
Just have to planet.
Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.
Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.
Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.
The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.
Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.
Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.
One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.
Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.
“Well” said Jeff, “As I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.
The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.
“Yes of course” replied Trevor
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I found it pretty Bohring.
A roll model!
Because Adams make up everything!
I make six figures a year
It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.
He didn’t even give it a second thot
They auditioned many before choosing the best model tea.
They said I was unsuitable.
You could say I'm living my life paycheck to Palahniuk
Because he always looked sketchy
But it’s definitely up there.
How cute is that? So I slipped it into my pocket and took it home to show my kids.
Heidi Klum says before hitting the Bahamas; Tyra Banks says after.
A runway model
Two rednecks were looking at a Sears catalog and admiring the models.
One says to the other, 'Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalog?'
The second one replies, 'Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price!'
The first one says, with wide eyes, 'Wow, they aren't very expensive. At this price, I'm buying one.'
The second one smiles and pats him on the back. 'Good idea! Order one and if she's as beautiful as she is in the catalog, I will get one too.'
Three weeks later, the youngest redneck asks his friend, 'Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from the Sears catalog?'
The second redneck replies, 'No, but it shouldn't be long now. I got her clothes yesterday!'
And buddy, my last G-string just broke
Since all model years are released a year early, they have a chance to start talking about it now.
I can't pay you, but you'll get a ton of exposure.
Because she had a make-up exam!
A’ford’able.
a poser
This thing...? Yeah, it flies! It's a Mowing 747.
Because 7 8 9
It was an awkward day at the dairy farmer’s magazine.
Right now we've got a standard whirlpool. One basic box, with a rotating center tray. No frills.
I'm looking at a newer model. It's split in the center, and there's a second rotating tray. Also, it's voice activated.
What do you think?
Should I stick with what I've got or should I get Two Turn Tables and a Microphone?
Ze-bra
On the other hand, she had warts.
A letter template.
They drive all their customers away.
Introducing the "2020 Hindsight"
It's got kind of an Elon Musk
A ball is just a roll model.
An influenza
I hear they do it with models.
It's a naan-profit.
They become great roll models
Honda Stivic
It was Toy Yoda
...XS-ive?
A rested development.
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.
What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.
How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.
The shovel was a ground breaking invention.
A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.
What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.
I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.
Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"
Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.
Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.
A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.
After the accident, the juggler didn
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It's groundbreaking
It was just junk mail.
They're really the kind of people you can look up to
edit: What's the difference between my good-for-nothing son, and a basketball player? A basketball player gets payed to lay up all day.
The doctors are now reporting his condition as "stable".
A remodel.
I hope they don't deKlein.
Kia shortage
Baaaaatery !
I think it's an effective form of pun-ishment
An underwearwolf!
It was to Bohring
They use their undewrellas.
With a polygon plane!
Because she's a real knockout!
It was a terrible roll model.
They kept causing Model T wrecks.
It can go by itself. It's the model S Car Go.
It sounded way better in my head.
I hope they don't deklein
