I kept telling my brother not to put the Q-tip in too deep, but he never listens to my words.

It goes into one ear, and out the other.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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My wife screamed "you haven't listened to a single word I've said, have you?!

I was taken aback...what a weird way to start a conversation.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WeLoveTheStonks
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2021
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My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?"

What a strange way to start a conversation with me...

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/isthisgood12
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
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My daughter yelled at me, β€œDAAAAAAAD! You haven’t been listening to a word I’ve said, have you?”

What a strange way to start a conversation

πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CountryHeart11
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
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My daughter started a conversation with me in the weirdest way yesterday.

So yesterday my daughter shouted, β€œDaaaaad, you’ve not even listened to a word I’ve said!”

What a strange way to start a conversation with me...

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lifteay
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
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Dad-joked by a toilet

For all of my life, my brain has played a soundtrack. At all times, in all places, I hear music going through my head, from the moment I awaken in the morning until I go to sleep at night. I can only shut it off by listening to other music, watching a movie, etc. but it soon starts up again once the outside source of stimulus is removed.

Yesterday I was travelling. When I visited the restroom prior to boarding my flight, the the music in my head suddenly switched tracks from "I've Been Everywhere Man" (that got really old after the first hour. Oy!) to "Africa" by Toto. "That's odd", I thought to myself, "the music in my head usually doesn't switch tracks unless something has changed around me." I finished my business, cleaned up, stood up, and turned around to flush.

Then I saw it. There, emblazoned on the porcelain, was the word "TOTO". The manufacturer of the toilet. "Nice job, brain, funny, hah-hah," I thought to myself.

The song in my head came to an abrupt halt. Silence, for just one moment. Blessed silence. Rare for me. Then I realized. My brain was giving me time to digest the previous joke. Waiting for me to think I'd arrived at the punch line. Pausing for a beat before it delivered the next one. "Africa" started over again, telling me exactly why the DJ deciding songs in my head had picked this exact moment, this exquisite situation, this exact set of circumstances to deliver the internal Dad Joke of the year:

"Doodoo doo-doo doodoo do dooooooooo...."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/txgsync
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2016
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My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?"

What a strange way to start a conversation with me...

πŸ‘︎ 212
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?"

What a strange way to start a conversation with me...

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2017
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My wife screamed "Honey! Have you listened to one word I've said?!?"

I though, what a weird way to start a conversation.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
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My daughter to me. "Daaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you?"

Me: "What a strange way to start a conversation with me."

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
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β€œMy daughter screeched, β€œDaaaaaad, you haven’t listened to one word I’ve said, have you!?”

What a strange way to start a conversation with me.”

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobRoy333
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
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