Here's another 20 of the most popular dad jokes, geared for emergency situations where you quickly need a good dad joke.
- Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?
He was just going through a stage.
- I invented a new word!
Plagiarism.
- What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
Make me one with everything.
- What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
Aye matey.
- How does a rabbi make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
- Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.
“Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.”
- What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
- How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
- Two artists had an art contest.
It ended in a draw.
- What did one traffic light say to the other?
Stop looking! I’m changing!
- I have a fear of speed bumps.
But I am slowly getting over it.
- Rest in peace to boiling water.
You will be mist.
- What’s Forest Gump’s password?
1Forest1.
- What is an astronaut’s favorite part on a computer?
The space bar.
- What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
- Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
- How do you throw a space party?
You planet.
- A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions.”
- Why did it get so hot in the baseball stadium after the game?
All of the fans left.
- What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings?
Any dog, because buildings can’t jump.
NB: I curated these from a much longer list that was published by Reader's Digest, which is also why you see many of these appear regularly in this sub.