Lia Fáil Puns

Scumbags. The Stone of Destiny has survived war, Cromwell and various other bad articles and now some fucker knocks lumps out of it with a hammer. I hope they die in a fire.

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I've done my own research into this and I'm getting some conflicting answers, which isn't surprising considering he's a mythical figure. HOWEVER, I have faith that that there is a unifying answer to this.

If I can find an answer then we can also use that to find the Date of the Cattle Raid of Cooley!

There are the main issues as I see them.

1st. Some sources say Cu Chulainn was born around 200 BCE.. This doesn't make sense because King Fachtna Fathach dies in 94 BCE, which is well before the Cattle Raid of Cooley, and Cu Chulainn is supposed to die young, and he dies after the Cattle Raid of Cooley, because he's the titular part of that story.

King Fachtna is purportedly the Father of Cu Chulainn's Uncle, Conchobar Mac Nessa, and, since we know Cu Chulainn only lived between 17 and 27 years (depending on the source) there is no way he was born 106 years before the Death of King Fachtna Fathac.

This is when Fachtna Fathac's reign is purported to be from three very trusted sources on Irish history.

Lebor Gabála Érenn 1st century BC

Geoffrey Keating's Foras Feasa ar Éirinn 110–94 BC

Annals of The Four Masters 159–143 BC

Ok, so we know that Cu Chulainn was born after the Death of Fachtna Fathach. Which is when Fergus Mac Roich becomes King of Ulster. However during the entirety of Cu Chulainn's life, Conchobar Mac Nessa, Cu Chulainn's Uncle is already King of Ulster (havign oursted Fachtna at age 7). So Cu Chulainn couldn't have been alive for King Fachtna's death. THere are also sources saying Cu Chulainn was alive in the 7th and 8th centuries and this doesn't make sense for the same reasosns.

2. The Annals of the Four Masters contradicts itself.

The annals of the four masters says the Cu Chulainn died in 1 AD. That he lived 27 years. Took arms at age 7, took part in the Cattle Raid of Cooley at age 17, and died at 27.

However, according to AFM. In 33 BCE Lugaid Riab nDerg becomes High King after a 5 year interregnum. His foster-father [or brother depending on the source], the Ulster hero Cúchulainn, split the Lia Fáil (coronation stone at Tara which roared when the rightful king stood or sat on it) with his sword when it failed to roar under Lugaid. It never roared again except under Conn of the Hundred Battles. Not possible since Chuchulainn wasn't alive by AFM's own calendar.

But, that would make Cu Chulainn -7 years old at that point. According to the AFM themselves, Cu Chulainn wasn't born until 26 BCE, so how can he

The map is decently sized, story was banging, theres a lot of places to explore and things to do in Ireland and I absolutely love one of the news songs in the DLC too. Canaid Lia Fáil, it's such a beautiful piece of music.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

And boy are my arms legs.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

A play on words.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

At work, I have a workstation.

edit: cheers u/cheer_up_richard

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "