Osama Bin Laden never took showers..

Because he just loved using bath bombs too much..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FartyMcFry89
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
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Do you know what Osama Bin Laden's nickname was?

Ben

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZZEZ73
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
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I went to an auction today where they were selling a cheese grater once owned by both Hitler and Osama Bin Laden.

It was the grater of two evils.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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Im not always a fan of smutty, innuendo laden jokes.

But every so often I like to slip one in...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/r_elwood
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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Osama bin laden took a ancestry test and found out he was 78% middle eastern 8% chololate and 14% coconut

It was due to the bounty on his head

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yodogg14
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2018
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"Okay, I did learn one interesting thing," Gabe admitted.

He was finally doing the reading for his history class. "Did you know that Bin Laden was planning to blow up monuments in other American cities?"

"I bet St. Louis was next on his list," I nodded.

"How'd you know that, Dad?" he asked in surprise.

"Well, he was our arch-enemy."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cja1968
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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FIL May just be my new favourite person

Doing a crossword yesterday with FIL, MIL & GIL.
FIL says "Hey did you know I completed The Times crossword the other day apart from one clue" (For those of you who don't know The Times crossword is like one of the hardest crosswords)
MIL: "Go on then tell me the clue, I bet I'll work it out"
FIL: "Ok, the clue was "Heavily laden postman"
MIL: "How many letters?"
FIL: "Hundreds and Hundreds I would imagine"

Dead

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Megpuss
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2016
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The world's most dangerous pun?

I had to fly from Atlanta to Chicago yesterday.

After I just gone through the security checkpoint and was putting my belt back on and all the other crap from that plastic tub they make you run through the scanner, I handed it back to one of the TSA agents and told him he should not carry too many of those at once.

Why?

Because he'd be Bin Laden.

He laughed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimMarch
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
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Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? Pun-laden remembrances after the death of the Italian chef.

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

  • He pasta way.
  • We cannoli do so much.
  • His legacy will become a pizza history.
  • Just proves the old adage, β€œHere today, gone tomato.”
  • How sad that he ran out of thyme.
  • Olive my prayers go to the family.
  • His wife is very upset; cheese still not over it.
  • You never sausage a tragic thing!

https://bestcleanfunnyjokes.com/did-you-hear-about-the-italian-chef-who-died/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfraymond
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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If you were carrying a large quantity of bins...

... would that make you bin laden?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rosskillington
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
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Driving with my family in a rural area...

...we stopped an an intersection. A big rig fully laden with hay bales approached from opposite direction. The driver made eye contact with me so I waved and yelled, "Hey!"

The kids tried to melt into their seats.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NativeSonSF
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2018
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[Request] Mole-related puns

So to clarify, a mole is a unit of measurement in chemistry. My chemistry class does this extra credit project every year where you make a diorama of a mole (animal), with some sort of pun. Examples: Mole-sama Bin Laden, Mole Digger, Deadmol3. Help me find a good idea?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProbablySpiderman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2014
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My dad told this one a few years ago,

When Bin Laden was eliminated, my dad and his buddies made a drink, they called it a Bin Laden. He asked me if I wanted to know how it's made, I said sure.

He said, "It's really simple, just two shots and a splash."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Malabotprime
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2016
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Sitting around the parents' dinner table discussing ISIS ...

... and we came around to how dangerous it is for the U.S. to arm rebels, like Reagan did with Osama bin Laden. Then I pointed out how impressively organized the Peshmerga of Kurdistan are, and how good allies they seem to be. At this, my dad started beaming, and pulled out this groaner:

"As I've always said to your mother, when it comes to the Middle East, the Kurds are the way."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Broanna
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2015
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Father in law on fire this Sunday afternoon

Doing a crossword with my father in law and mother in law. He told me that he completed The Times crossword (which is apparently one of the hardest crosswords) the other day all except one clue. Mother in law says "go on then darling tell me the clue I bet I'll work it out" He says the clue is "heavily laden postman" She says "how many letters" He says "hundreds and hundreds I should think" Dead

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πŸ‘€︎ u/megpuss21
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2016
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