What did Captain Kirk say to Spock as he was hanging off a cliff?

Just Klingon, I’ll go get help!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trendfoll
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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What does Captain Kirk and toilet paper have in common?

They both fight Klingons around Uranus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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What did Bones say to Captain Kirk at the river crossing?

Dam it, Jim (Be gentle it’s my cake day)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Guru_in_flannel
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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Why did Captain Kirk flush the brand new toilet?

Because William Shatner

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marycartlizer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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Why does Capt Kirk use wet wipes?

Klingons.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jgpitre
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
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How many ears does Captain Kirk have?

Three: the left ear, the right ear, and the final frontier.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thepattato
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
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Captain Kirk finally came up with a name for his invention: a cross between a hose nozzle, a spoon, and a fork.

He called it Mister Spork.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gecko_echo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
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Captain Kirk goes to Sickbay. "Bones, I have a problem."

McCoy says, "What is it, Jim?"

Kirk replies, "I can't stop singing 'Delilah' and 'The Green Green Grass of Home'. What's wrong with me?"

McCoy doesn't even stand up. "You've got 'Tom Jones Syndrome', Jim."

Kirk looks shaken, "Dear God. Is it rare?"

McCoy smiles, "It's not unusual."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crash_86
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2018
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Did you hear about the new Captain Kirk toilet paper?

It goes where no man has gone before in search of the dreaded Klingons

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JBskierbum
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
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What's Captain Kirk's favorite kind of radish?

Daikon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iia
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2016
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Why did Kirk fall off?

He could't Klingon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TL_Doc
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2015
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When exploring I always wear my Captain Kirk underwear . . .

So I can boldly go where no man has gone before

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GildorInglorion
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2017
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What does Capt. Kirk say when his first mate does something amazing

That was Spocktacular!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/newkindathing
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2016
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Why can Captain Kirk hear so well?

Because he has three ears: a left ear, a right ear, and a final frontier.

This has been copied from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=9309001

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aembleton
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2015
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Did ya hear Captain Kirk has brought out a new line of ladies underwear?

He calls them Shatner-pants.

100% genuine dad joke my dad just told me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Morbid_Saint
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2015
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How many ears does Captain Kirk have?

3! The left ear, the right ear, and his final front-ear.

πŸ––

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πŸ‘€︎ u/khunter610
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
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Did you know that Captain Kirk has three ears?

A left ear, a right ear, and a final frontier.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smedlington
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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How many ears does Captain Kirk have?

3: a left ear, a right ear, and a final frontier.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TotakekeSlider
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
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How many ears does Captain Kirk have?

3 1 left ear 1 right ear And the final front ear

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deeman_27
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2017
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How many ears has captain Kirk got?

His left ear, his right ear, and the final front ear.

(A joke that my dad told me years ago)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bakerie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2017
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How many ears does Capt Kirk have?

A left ear, a right ear, and the Final Front-ear!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dicksubmit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2018
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